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| Topic: Sibling Rivalry | |
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Is it hurtful or helpful to try to 'motivate' a child by comparing them to their siblings?
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Edited by
STARTRAVELER
on
Sun 01/31/10 12:51 AM
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Hurtful! never liked being compared to my sisters in school
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I think it depends on the comparison. If you have a child that sells drugs at school, and one that doesn't,well you get it....
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I would say hurtful. Of course, mom never compared me to my sisters. Good thing, too. I could have turned out like Dee Snyder of "Twisted Sister". I heard Dee Snyder ask the question on the radio show, "House of Hair" which he deejays. "Whose your daddy who looks like your mommy?"
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My mom never compared my sisters to me cuz she said that would be unfair. They aren't me so can't be compared to me.
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My mom never compared my sisters to me cuz she said that would be unfair. They aren't me so can't be compared to me. My thoughts exactly. I use comparison only for positive reinforcement. My toddler adores her brother so I will tell her she does things like him or that she is going to grow up to be as smart or strong or intelligent,,,etc,,, I think its so harmful to compare siblings for the purpose of putting any of them down but I hear people do it all the time. |
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I think its alright IF its for positive things BUT if you are doing it for reasons to get a person motivated, its not going to work.
In school my teachers would ask me IF I was related to Ted..I would say that is my brother BUT I am nothing like him. They would always say, that is a good thing or we are going to have problems!! So I understand how people can compare you to someone for bad things..but they soon find out I am completely opposite!! 
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I don't believe that it motivates at all. I think it can increase tensions between the two siblings and cause resentments. It can also hurt self esteem.
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