Topic: Don't really understand...
Rasmus916's photo
Sat 01/02/10 03:54 PM
Edited by Rasmus916 on Sat 01/02/10 03:56 PM
First off, I do not know if I am posting in the correct forum, please forgive me if it should have been posted somewhere else.

Also, I am probably going to rant, this poker hand has been dealt to me about a week and a half to two weeks ago, and I still do not know how to handle it.

With all my disclaimers, lets start off at the beginning...

I FINALLY met someone after a long period of time of being single. We were rarley able to see each other with work schedules and such, but things were awesome. Of course we both had our own issues, but we were both also very willing to work things out between the two of us and make a compromization.

Problem is that out of the blue, one of my very close friends came and told me this...

"This is nothing against you, but my friends do not date my neighbors. I do not care if you are in a relationship with her or not, but it is now over. You are no longer allowed to see her unsupervised and you are no longer allowed to go over to her house without my knowing you are heading over there."

Now please, do not get this wrong, usually I would have easily told him to get over himself, but with my career and schooling (both are tied together, if I miss two days of school I lose my career) He is my ride to and from work, to and from school while I save up for a car.

My dilemma is simple, I promised both parties that I will not cause drama amongst the friends and such.

If I persue something between me and her, a longtime friendship will go down the drain, and I lose my career simply by pissing him off and not being able to get to and from work and school. On the other hand, well, do I really need to explain?

I did try speaking to him about this subject and tried to explain the topic from my end, and let me put it this way, he and I are not speaking for a few days while he cools down. Appearently it is completley unfair for me to try to voice my opinion when he laid down rules on my social life.

Also, before anyone asks, no, to my knowlege he is not trying to get with her, he is in a long term relationship with a woman who goes to the same church as he does.

Is there any advice I can get from people or am I just up the creek without a paddle?

EDIT: Cleaning up grammar and spelling erros.

Redsoxfan1's photo
Sat 01/02/10 03:57 PM
I feel if he is truly your friend, he should be happy you found someone you are happy with regardless if she is his neighbor, or not!!:heart: Good luck!!flowerforyou

Rasmus916's photo
Sat 01/02/10 04:01 PM
That is what I figured but ah well, so far my only option I have been able to come up with is just simply back off of both parties till dust settles and see what time will do to this situation.

/shrug

laughsandgiggles's photo
Sat 01/02/10 04:09 PM
Is there anyone else that can give you a ride- do you have other friends or family that will help you out

what about public transportation?

that being said- what business is it of his who you date??????? he is completely out of line- dont care if he is a good friend- he is not acting like one!!! you need to let her know what he said- maybe she can give you a ride and then you need to tell him to butt out of your personal life- i mean really!!!!! are you not an adult???? i would have to tell him off and find another way to get to school and work!! where there's a will- there's a way!

TexasScoundrel's photo
Sat 01/02/10 04:12 PM
Have you thought maybe he wants to date her himself?

yellowrose10's photo
Sat 01/02/10 04:15 PM
I understand your predicament because of transportation, but I don't see how it's any of his business who you date. Seems a bit of a control freak to me...JMO.

I would look for a different mode of transportation and continue with what you feel is right.

A true friend wouldn't make you make a choice like that, unless they see it as harmful to you and even then all they have to do is say they want no part of it.

misstina2's photo
Sat 01/02/10 04:18 PM
flowerforyou hes trying to control youflowerforyou hes no friend flowerforyou

TxsGal3333's photo
Sat 01/02/10 04:21 PM
Hummm find a way back and forth even if it means public bus and tell him to stick it and go out with whom you want to when you want to. I assure ya there is more to this then he just don't want you dating his friends.noway

BL4766's photo
Sat 01/02/10 04:25 PM
WOW!!!!
who the hell does he think he is, to try & tell you WHO & WHO YOU CANNOT DATE???????noway noway
He is no friend!!!!!!!:angry:
lose him & find another means of transportation!!!!!

no photo
Sat 01/02/10 04:29 PM
I agree.Something is not right.Tell him to keep out od your buisness!

no photo
Sat 01/02/10 04:33 PM
Edited by iam4u on Sat 01/02/10 04:34 PM
Dude,,,let me say this as a FACT,,,if I EVER had a person who said they were my friend and THEY said this to me
This is nothing against you, but my friends do not date my neighbors. I do not care if you are in a relationship with her or not, but it is now over. You are no longer allowed to see her unsupervised and you are no longer allowed to go over to her house without my knowing you are heading over there

I would have been like,,wow,,,you need some fruckin therapy dude!

As I believe HE DOES!!!!

So,,I get your not wanting to say something to pisss him but COME-ON MAN,,,,you gonna let ANY FRIEND have THIS kind of control over you,,,shzt,,soon YOUR have to ask him if you can go to the bathroom??
I mean really,,,he's OUT THERE BUDDY,,,,,EXTREMELY SO...

Him and your career, or HER....thats your pick...

NOW,,,,does SHE DRIVE?
If so,,,tell him to fruck off,,and move in with her, help her with all you can, let her drive you back and forth or BOTH of you figure out how life can work there,,,w/o HIS INPUT!!!

Because,,,THIS is the land of the free man,,,and your bud,,,is whacked.....

Me personally,,,,ANY FORM OF LIFE,,,would be BETTER than letting this ^$^#^#^###THINK he OWNS YOU...but,,thats ME,wink,
Good luck with this and finding YOU...

no photo
Sat 01/02/10 04:56 PM

First off, I do not know if I am posting in the correct forum, please forgive me if it should have been posted somewhere else.

Also, I am probably going to rant, this poker hand has been dealt to me about a week and a half to two weeks ago, and I still do not know how to handle it.

With all my disclaimers, lets start off at the beginning...

I FINALLY met someone after a long period of time of being single. We were rarley able to see each other with work schedules and such, but things were awesome. Of course we both had our own issues, but we were both also very willing to work things out between the two of us and make a compromization.

Problem is that out of the blue, one of my very close friends came and told me this...

"This is nothing against you, but my friends do not date my neighbors. I do not care if you are in a relationship with her or not, but it is now over. You are no longer allowed to see her unsupervised and you are no longer allowed to go over to her house without my knowing you are heading over there."

Now please, do not get this wrong, usually I would have easily told him to get over himself, but with my career and schooling (both are tied together, if I miss two days of school I lose my career) He is my ride to and from work, to and from school while I save up for a car.

My dilemma is simple, I promised both parties that I will not cause drama amongst the friends and such.

If I persue something between me and her, a longtime friendship will go down the drain, and I lose my career simply by pissing him off and not being able to get to and from work and school. On the other hand, well, do I really need to explain?

I did try speaking to him about this subject and tried to explain the topic from my end, and let me put it this way, he and I are not speaking for a few days while he cools down. Appearently it is completley unfair for me to try to voice my opinion when he laid down rules on my social life.

Also, before anyone asks, no, to my knowlege he is not trying to get with her, he is in a long term relationship with a woman who goes to the same church as he does.

Is there any advice I can get from people or am I just up the creek without a paddle?

EDIT: Cleaning up grammar and spelling erros.



How old is everyone,in which you're talking about?

Rasmus916's photo
Sat 01/02/10 05:09 PM
Honestly, I tried thinking of the public transportation thing, but there is no way in hell that I can rely on public transportation. I tried working it out. I also thought of talking to her or finding out another way of getting around but her work schedule is too far from mine, and well, nobody I know is willing to drive out as far as I do to get from point A to B to C and back to A every week.

Luckily in a few weeks after certian expenses are over, I will be picking me up my own car, but even after that, I am one of those type of guys who hate with a passion to cause drama.

To answer the question, our age groups are anywhere between 26-36.

Either way, thank you for the advice, basically you guys said what was on my mind, and well, the only thing I can do is wait and bait ya know?

no photo
Sat 01/02/10 05:12 PM

Honestly, I tried thinking of the public transportation thing, but there is no way in hell that I can rely on public transportation. I tried working it out. I also thought of talking to her or finding out another way of getting around but her work schedule is too far from mine, and well, nobody I know is willing to drive out as far as I do to get from point A to B to C and back to A every week.

Luckily in a few weeks after certian expenses are over, I will be picking me up my own car, but even after that, I am one of those type of guys who hate with a passion to cause drama.

To answer the question, our age groups are anywhere between 26-36.

Either way, thank you for the advice, basically you guys said what was on my mind, and well, the only thing I can do is wait and bait ya know?
:heart: GOOD LUCK,and GOD SPEED...I will Pray to have you find a means..through HIS light...