LewisW123, for that to work, you're assuming everyone is going to have one specific type of person they go for, right? What about those who don't? You're still going to be going to different places and meeting lots of people in order to find someone you're compatible with. Unless there really is one very specific type of person you want to date.

If narrowing it down to a specific type of person works for you, that's great. However, some of the men I've dated have been very different than others. I'm not going to narrow it down to a very small group of a specific type.

As I said, if it's working for you, great.

Just curious, since it's working so well, are you dating often? Are you seeing someone now?

What do you think the biggest problem is when it comes to meeting someone out there in the real world?

Do you think the trouble is something you're doing or not doing?

Do you think there's something wrong with the opposite sex?

Biggest problem is people in general are too picky and they think they deserve more than they are willing to give. In this day and age, people want instant gratification and not willing to work for anything. People jump into things too quickly and feel they need another person to validate them. People will find fault with everything and anything and also blame whatever their ex did to them on the whole gender.

I'm not currently looking to date and I know I put that vibe out. But when I do date, I don't have a problem finding dates.

Nothing is wrong with the opposite sex, it's individuals that use excuses as to why they can't get a date. They blame their height, weight, race, economics, etc etc etc. When in reality, it is none of those things. Anyone can get a date, they just have to leave the baggage and whining insecurities at the door.

Yes. Personally, I don't believe in internet dating. My way doesn't guarantee anything, but it narrows the field of compatiblity, in my opinon.

If I just wanted to date, I suppose I would continue to use internet dating sites or go clubbing. You can find something good, in just about anyone, but I wanted to meet someone that met a certain criteria right off the bat, so I didn't have to weed thru a bunch of dates. I can sort the rest out, as I get to know her.

Biggest problem is people in general are too picky and they think they deserve more than they are willing to give. In this day and age, people want instant gratification and not willing to work for anything. People jump into things too quickly and feel they need another person to validate them. People will find fault with everything and anything and also blame whatever their ex did to them on the whole gender.

"In general," I think their is some truth to that. I think people can be too picky, sort of looking for perfection. Even if "perfection" is found, it is not going to last, because nobody is perfect.

I also believe their is some truth to the other end of the spectrum. People aren't choosy enough. They sometimes go for whatever comes their way.

I'm talking from just reading the forums on various sites. Plenty of times, I see a guy 50 something and his age range is 21 to 39. How does he know a 42 or 49 or 55 yo wouldn't be compatible with him. He sees women his own age as old. He won't even think of dating a woman his own age cause he THINKS he looks "10 years younger", but in reality he looks 10 years older. He thinks he 'deserves" someone 20 years younger than he is. But he will still hold onto thinking that is what he deserves and he will wonder why he is still single. Then he will come onto the forums and complain why nobody is writing him back...I mean he sends out 100s of emails, why isn't anyone writing him back? I guess the 21 year olds are not seeing him as what they "deserve". When MOST people deal with reality, that is when they will find happiness and probably find a compatible mate.

Then there is the slob taking pictures in his dirty bathroom mirror or outside with his car on cinderblocks looking for super models.

It is MY experience that people will grade themselves better than they actually are. Reality is a harsh mistress that takes no prisoners and is a hard pill to swallow for most.

I'm talking from just reading the forums on various sites. Plenty of times, I see a guy 50 something and his age range is 21 to 39. How does he know a 42 or 49 or 55 yo wouldn't be compatible with him. He sees women his own age as old. He won't even think of dating a woman his own age cause he THINKS he looks "10 years younger", but in reality he looks 10 years older. He thinks he 'deserves" someone 20 years younger than he is. But he will still hold onto thinking that is what he deserves and he will wonder why he is still single. Then he will come onto the forums and complain why nobody is writing him back...I mean he sends out 100s of emails, why isn't anyone writing him back? I guess the 21 year olds are not seeing him as what they "deserve".



Years ago, before the internet, we used to sit and read the "personal ads" in the newspaper, out loud, during breaks, with the exact same kind of ****. "45 y/o divorced man, looking for slim, atheletic 20-something female for serious relationship, etc., etc., etc." You just can't make that stuff up.

Women weren't too much better: 45 y/o looking for true gentleman who will love me just the way I am. (in other words, please don't ask me to do housework or lose weight, that's why my husband left).

Another issue I see is some figure online dating means instant gratification. That they can send an email that says "hey baby" or "hey sexy" and get a date just from that.

I resemble a little of your post.

I am 43 and I date younger guys about 10-12 years my junior. I don't feel it's because I "deserve" younger guys nor do I have a sense of entitlement. I'm just not attracted to men my age. There are always exceptions; I don't live by absolutes; however, generally speaking, guys my age to not live the same lifestyle as me. Usually they have kids, they dress older than their age, their taste in music, activities, and health is waaay off from mine.

Since I don't want a family, and I have my own money, I date younger guys because of the attraction -- and usually guys in higher education because I am also a graduate student. In most cases, of the guys I meet, there is cohesiveness to sustain a fun, lasting romance.

Ultimately, I realize a man my age is more appropriate and I am open to meeting anyone that suits me physically and emotionally. For now, however, I love my dating life.

Which is fine. I'm just speaking in general from what I have observed. I don't pay a lot of attention to what women are looking for on dating sites nor am I trying to pigeon hole people into one group and saying everyone is the same. I did say MOST from MY experience on what I read on dating forums.

My point is that all comes down to MOST people are way pickier than they need to be and shouldn't be shocked when what they think they deserve doesn't pan out and they end up "the old man in the club."