Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: What do you think the biggest issue is with getting a date?
Rob_T Joined Sat 12/19/09 Posts: 996	Sat 01/02/10 01:57 PM
I never have any trouble talking to or even flirting with gals if I'm out doing random stuff, shopping, ect. But if I am at a bar or somewhere where I would have to walk up to a lady and initiate contact, totally different story! I've had plenty of times where I was accused of flirting with the waitress ect, but I suppose in that situation, there is no emotonal risk involved. Perhaps thats the key. We/I feel socially confortable as long as the risk is low to none, but ramp up the risk factor (emotional risk) and suddenly the game has changed. Not sure of the answer to this though. Suggestions? You don't care about the results you get with the waitress. What if you stopped caring about results with women in bars? You know, just talk to them WITHOUT AN AGENDA. Just say hello and interact for a few minutes. If she's feeling it you can tell. If not say "It's been a pleasure" and move on. Your exactly right! Its all about the AGENDA. I think that there is some link between the venue and the agenda. If we are at a bar, we automaticly assume the agenda is to find someone. how screwed up is that/ and how does one go about assuming a different agenda when at a bar?

TexasScoundrel Joined Wed 10/29/08 Posts: 3693	Sat 01/02/10 02:12 PM
I never have any trouble talking to or even flirting with gals if I'm out doing random stuff, shopping, ect. But if I am at a bar or somewhere where I would have to walk up to a lady and initiate contact, totally different story! I've had plenty of times where I was accused of flirting with the waitress ect, but I suppose in that situation, there is no emotonal risk involved. Perhaps thats the key. We/I feel socially confortable as long as the risk is low to none, but ramp up the risk factor (emotional risk) and suddenly the game has changed. Not sure of the answer to this though. Suggestions? You don't care about the results you get with the waitress. What if you stopped caring about results with women in bars? You know, just talk to them WITHOUT AN AGENDA. Just say hello and interact for a few minutes. If she's feeling it you can tell. If not say "It's been a pleasure" and move on. Your exactly right! Its all about the AGENDA. I think that there is some link between the venue and the agenda. If we are at a bar, we automaticly assume the agenda is to find someone. how screwed up is that/ and how does one go about assuming a different agenda when at a bar? Easy. Just say hello without worrying if she's going to like you or not. Know that if you don't hit it off with the first one it means nothing. There's another one right over there. Maybe it'll be different with her. And if it's not, there are always more women. Women are not an endangered species.

TxsSun Joined Wed 05/20/09 Posts: 14582	Sat 01/02/10 02:15 PM
I think someone made a new friend

Rob_T Joined Sat 12/19/09 Posts: 996	Sat 01/02/10 02:17 PM
I think someone made a new friend Got any ideas from the "Terminator" point of view?

TxsSun Joined Wed 05/20/09 Posts: 14582	Sat 01/02/10 02:18 PM
Are you telling me, you read the thread and didn't post????

TxsSun Joined Wed 05/20/09 Posts: 14582	Sat 01/02/10 02:20 PM
For me, it is because I look like a biotch. I have been told that I am unapproachable.

chevylover1965 Joined Sat 09/29/07 Posts: 43370	Sat 01/02/10 02:20 PM
lot's of miles ....... but i have made some good friend's !!!!

Rob_T Joined Sat 12/19/09 Posts: 996	Sat 01/02/10 02:20 PM
been posting, thats why I asked for your point of view.

TxsSun Joined Wed 05/20/09 Posts: 14582	Sat 01/02/10 02:21 PM
I did reply^^ I was talking about the Terminator thread

Rob_T Joined Sat 12/19/09 Posts: 996	Sat 01/02/10 02:23 PM
I did reply^^ I was talking about the Terminator thread sorry,I meant for your input on this thread. Just looking for a diffeent point of view or opinion

TxsSun Joined Wed 05/20/09 Posts: 14582	Sat 01/02/10 02:25 PM
I gave you my input above. Well I just answered the question really. I will go back and read what you two have been talking about.

FearandLoathing Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 30121	Sat 01/02/10 02:26 PM
I don't have a problem meeting girls in the "real" world...I just don't want to talk to them. I'm a raging anti-social.

TexasScoundrel Joined Wed 10/29/08 Posts: 3693	Sat 01/02/10 02:29 PM
I don't have a problem meeting girls in the "real" world...I just don't want to talk to them. I'm a raging anti-social. How do you feel about them talking to you?

TxsSun Joined Wed 05/20/09 Posts: 14582	Sat 01/02/10 02:30 PM
Ok, so I read it all. For me, I would never date a guy I met at a bar. Especially if he is going from one woman to another until he found one that would talk to him. That is called a scavenger.

Ladylid2012 Joined Sun 07/05/09 Posts: 42269	Sat 01/02/10 02:32 PM
For me, it is because I look like a biotch. I have been told that I am unapproachable. ditto..I get emails that tell me that, weird because I'm very approachable..

TexasScoundrel Joined Wed 10/29/08 Posts: 3693	Sat 01/02/10 02:33 PM
Ok, so I read it all. For me, I would never date a guy I met at a bar. Especially if he is going from one woman to another until he found one that would talk to him. That is called a scavenger. Funny, I'd call it being friendly and social. Remember, I'm suggesting he go in without an agenda. Is there another way to meet people? I mean besides say hello to strangers.

FearandLoathing Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 30121	Sat 01/02/10 02:33 PM
I don't have a problem meeting girls in the "real" world...I just don't want to talk to them. I'm a raging anti-social. How do you feel about them talking to you? Bothers the hell out of me most of the time. I have no interest in useless dribble of a conversation that has played out on daytime TV for the last decade. I don't go out of my way to meet anyone, I can talk to them...but still in the back of my head I'm invisioning throwing them off a cliff for the most part. Needless to say I haven't had very much productive conversation with very many people, a few, one I still talk too, but there just isn't that many people that really strike my interest anymore.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Sat 01/02/10 02:33 PM
Question for the men. When you're out meeting new people and potential dates, do you prefer to approach women, or are you happywhen women approach you as well?

Rob_T Joined Sat 12/19/09 Posts: 996	Sat 01/02/10 02:34 PM Edited by Rob_T on Sat 01/02/10 02:35 PM
for myself, I'm really NOT looking for a date at a bar. But if I am there bcs there is a good band, and dancing, I feel like I can't aproach women because of that "scavenger" attitude. Maybe it's just all in MY head.

TxsSun Joined Wed 05/20/09 Posts: 14582	Sat 01/02/10 02:37 PM
for myself, I'm really loking for a date at a bar. But if I am there bcs there is a good band, and dancing, I feel like I can't aproach women because of that "scavenger" attitude. Maybe it's just all in MY head. I just have my rule of thumb. I do meet quite a few people there, I just would NEVER date one. I go dancing all of the time. Not lately, cuz I just got my boots out of the doctor, but normally I would go twice a week. I meet lots of "friends". You may be different. You find someone you dance with, you click, you may want to see where it would go. That is totally understandable.