I mentioned this in a thread last evening and it got me wondering how many of us 'do' guilt often?

I live so as to avoid doing guilt. The choices I make, how I treat people and how I allow myself to be treated, how honest I am and how fair I try to be, how having learned to say no, are a few ways that a lot of years of practicing to live guilt free have led me to a life that I feel good about. I have been doing this for so long now that it had to come up in a thread for me to conscientiously think about it.

And you??

I use to, let it go a very long time ago. It is a useless emotion.

I am Catholic. Guilt is required.

And I've always been an overachiever.

I don't understand the question.

How do I do guilt? What would I be guilty about?

Does being guilt free just because one doesn't care count?

I have made enough mistakes in my early years to carry guilt the rest of my life, it just is there, all the time and I have learned to deal with it.

I suppose not caring is one way to not feel guilt...might lead to bad behavior though. LOL

Ah, but you are young, there is hope for you yet!

You can care without feeling guilty, actually you can are more without guilt.

I don't think it a question of if it is there, but what you learn from it and adjust your behavior to eliminate it.

Guilt?


BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ....none for me thanks....I don't believe in it. If I f**k up...I make it right.

If I am supposed to feel bad for making mistakes.....ain't gonna happen. (I did that when I was younger)

God don't give a s#$t about what I do or do not do.

Now, I just be the best man I can be. Tommorrow I will be better than I was today.

Thank God I don't fall under the strictures of Catholic dogma...(I am straight).

Straight??? who knew??? Glad we got that straightened out!!!!

But...that was my point, if you live well and do the best you can each day then you don't meed to waste precious energy/time on doing guilt!!!!

My years running a clinic (and half a century on the planet!) has taught me there are two distinct polarities to which most ascribe, to one side much more than the other:

1. Shame/Guilt Based
(Usually what I call 'The Emotionalists', ruled by their feelings, not thoughts!)

2. Blame/Unaccountability Based
(Usually what I call 'The Mentalists', ruled by their thoughts, not feelings!)


The 'Guilt Based' - Are always the kinder, more sensitive creatures that wear their hearts on their sleeves and always step up to accountability for their mistakes. When extreme, they take on the responsibility/guilt for everything and everyone and shame their way right into illness (and, yeah, much is most definitely resultant of a deeply religious, childhood hangover remnant!) They better process things and move on when they strive to 'get better'. I have an incredible clinical success rate w/ this community and call them 'The Flyers'. I very much prefer to work w/ this community. IF they don't get stuck in it, they are the healthiest of the 2 types. IF they remain stuck? They become gravely ill much sooner and check out. Sad but true!

The 'Blame Based' - Are a nightmare in my experience! They are almost impossible to work w/ and achieve any real, lasting results! Nothing is their fault, they are eternal victims and nothing will ever change that or deliver them into the ability towards healing accountability. Almost as if they've given over control of their lives outcome because it is outside their jurisdiction, someone/something else's responsibility/fault, and they are eternally powerless to change it! This crew generally never wears their heart on their sleeve, do not process their mistakes (NOT my fault types!), do not implement healthy changes and make life a living Hell for the shame based! They take adversity and blame it on the world! They STAY sick and I call them 'The Crawlers'. I will ONLY work w/ this community IF they've identified it and really want to change! I can't treat endless symptoms forever; I am only interested in CURE!


I often wonder if the 'Old Souls' are those SO able to step up to the plate of accountability, that they can go overboard. They usually exude wisdom also!

And, the 'New Souls' are not able to grasp their role in accountability ... at least not YET!? They can be dumb as rocks, and mean as a rattler!

I seriously doubt serial killers, etc. are 'Old Souls'!

... But ... that is another topic!

So by your definition I am "Guilt Based" but long ago figured it out, on my own, from my life...and learned to be the kind and gentle person you speak of without the guilt part! Well hurray for me and my personal growth as a Guilt Based NON guilty person!!!

Thank you for your serious attention to my serious post!

I dont do guilt

I was married to one of these. It was exhausting. I didn't even know the extent of it until some of his family members and I got to talking after the fact. It spiraled much more downward after I wasn't there to pick up after him. The worst part is he pulled me in a lot of times and for THAT I feel guilty.

don't look at me....i didn't do it!

Yep, exactly!

'Guilt based' processed, just means that you check YOURSELF first as you go along ... CONSTANTLY ... and rearrange and adapt according to the info!

YOU move PAST allowing yourself to EVER be guilty; you learn, forgive yourself and endeavour to do better!

Guilt KILLS!

... When ya NEVER pass the buck, and only check yourself? You are good to go and stay MUCH healthier!

NB ... Often that means kikkin' the parasitical 'BLAME Based' outta your life and head; don't get me wrong there!

...

No no no - don't do quilt for becoming smarter, stronger and free!!!

Don't do guilt for being young, in love and inexperience in the first place.

Celebrate not berate yourself for your wisdom and strength!

Guilt is a waste and this is the perfect example of why!

It's better when you get people to feel sorry for YOU...

Yea, Yea, Yea!!! Sympathy rules!!! You know, sympathy for me! Not for you....