murdering them wasnt an option so i chose divorce..

wow Jess powerful story. Thank you for sharing

Snuggles you're crazy!

Well, he is gonna have to die or kill me to get rid of me. Or cheat. And
that just might get him killed. But, I don't think I have to worry about
that anymore.
Kat

I will admit Kat, if someone cheated on me I don't know what I would do
but I hope I would respond the best way possible


Scttbrian
"Well, he is gonna have to die or kill me to get rid of me. Or cheat.
And that just might get him killed. "

That's how I feel...not that I would committ murder

If I have to stay with her then she has to stay with me. Vengeance is
ours.

This is a great topic...One that has been hashed out during my family
conversations... at holidays or other times...too many times to count.

The vows are VERY important...no doubt...BUT what if the premise was
entirely false to begin with? No matter why or whose fault...

So many, myself included, marry for less than perfect reasons...
someone, that they only later find out, with whom they just cannot or
will not ever be happy with...no matter what...all resources
exhausted...all emotions and love...EXHAUSTED...there is no good coming
from these type situations...they are MISTAKES...

Mind you, I believe one(two) should try everything within them...grow
another nerve...lol...and spend it also...give it everything you have...

When ALL else fails...and there is no doubt that it IS a mistake...then
I feel like this...

My God forgives my mistakes and loves me more than I could possibly
comprehend...therefore does not want me to suffer for this one mistake
for the rest of my life...

Hi creative soul

Hello young lady...How are you?***insert flower***

inserted flower

Thankyou I'm fine. I just finished one summer class, I have 2 more
summer classes to go

I believe that divorce should be saved for extreme reasons, not just cuz
people have a bad stretch of road. Marriage has become almost a moot
point anymore with the divorce rate as high as it is. I only plan on
bein married once, and already am, and we've had our ups and downs sure,
but I've NEVER thought about leavin her. I consider she's my Life, not
my Wife.

I took my vows very seriously. The fact that my 20-year relationship
ended in divorce will never be seen by me as a 'mistake'.

I married a good man who made a not-so-great husband.

I will not regret it. I will not hold resentment, anger and bitterness
about its demise.

I will be grateful for what it was. I had to allow myself to mourn what
it was not.

I did everything I knew how to do. But one alone cannot make it work.
And in the end, the decision was not mine.

I do believe in doing whatever I can to make something work. I did
stick it out. I did forgive completely. I did love unconditionally.

It is not an issue of morality to me. And if there was an injustice, I
did it to myself for not valuing myself more.

I chose life instead of death..I chose to live and my son to live,
divorce was the only option. It is not that I did not honor the vows, I
did he chose not to honor them, sleeping with anything that was a
female, treating me as if I were less then human and beating me any
chance he could. At 9 months pregnant almost due, within in 2 weeks of
the delivery date he chose to attempt to end mine and my sons life, by
stomping and kicking my stomach, kicking and slamming my head repeatedly
into the floor.So yes divorce was the only option, choosing life was the
only option. I chose life for my son and I.

Divorce in a non abusive marriage should be the last alternative the
very last, try other methods first.I do not know if I will ever get
married again but if I should it will be to a non violent man, a man
that knows how to talk and understand so that divorce would not ever
even become an option.

I'm so glad that you both are okay. I sure hope he didn't get away with
what he did. Men like that make good men hard to believe.
Kat

Jenni - beauty, love and strength

Kat, he didn't get away with it, I was fortunate enough that someone
finally heard the screams and called the police.I saw him a few years
later and the fear that he instilled was still so very thick, he never
saw me but it was enough that I saw him.My son never knew his father and
now chooses not to. It damaged me me in such a way that the other 2
relationships I had after that failed, one was a verbally abusive man,
but it was really my own fears that destroyed them.So I haven't been in
a relationship for 13 years. I am now ready for this, I took that time
to work on me, fix me. Don't be sad for me, I lived and survived to tell
the tale and maybe just maybe stop some other young girl from making the
same mistake.



Sherrie.. It comes from within and is
added to daily by the friends I have, what they share and give only
blesses me more.

I never married for the simple reason that I never met an available
woman that I felt compatible enough with to even consider asking her to
spend the rest of our lives together. I believe that had I met such a
woman our union would have lasted forever.

Many people have told me that I’m quite naïve to hold this view.
However, I don’t believe that it’s a naïve view at all. I see
incompatible people getting married all the time. So I’m not the
slightest bit surprised when their marriage ends. I would not choose to
do that.

Other people tell me that I’m far too picky. Ironically many of those
people have had failed relationships because they weren’t picky enough!

Lastly, I’d just like to say that I have met quite a few women over the
course of my life whom I believe could have potentially been a healthy
and happy life-long partner with me. Unfortunately, all of those women
had already chosen to marry other men. Some had married men that they
were happy with. Other’s had made terrible choices and were suffering
the consequences of that poor choice.

At my age today almost any woman I date will be 'till to death do us
part' because I’m about ready to keel over now. (ha ha)

walks in looks around

and just say hek w/this and exits

i was brought up and taught that divorce was not an option. i still
believe that to this day, even though i am divorced.

my ex was verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive. he never once
touched me, but his words did the damage. i stayed married to him
because he threaten to disappear with our daughter and he kept telling
me if he did, i'd never see her again.

i went thru counseling with a Christian counselor and he told me that it
was my fault that my ex was like this. My mom told me that if I married
him i'd go to h*ll.. i really think she meant live in h*ll.

by the time my divorce was final i had been married for 15 yrs. i was
fortunate enough that he allowed me to move away from him and take my
daughter with me. that move was close to 3000 miles and it was the best
thing i ever did.

if/when i get married again.. i pray that it will be until death do us
part.. as i don't ever want to go thru a divorce again.

Having had two parents that were divorced since before I can remeber,
growing up I didn't agree with it. That was when I was christian and I
believed that in the eyes of god it was wrong, and I thought they would
go to hell. I also thought it was wrong because I wanted to feel like I
always had a whole family.
Since growing up and seeing my parents interact I know it was for the
best. Growing up with them together I would have had a big old broken
family.
I believe that divorce is a descision, same as making the descision to
marry. Things happen, people change. Sometimes it can be fixed, other
times the situation calls for a split.
I don't believe marriage or any relationship is taken seriously
anymore, divorece is just an escape plan to many because they've found
somebody else they want to sleep with or other ridiculous reasons. When
thought of like that I don't agree with it, but if the situation is
abusive, mentaly hurting a child or children, or other serios problems
then I agree with it.

CCP: I fully understand what you went through. My first marriage was
abusive and deadly. It wouldn't have taken much for him to kill me and
my (our) son. He came close a few times. Even after I escaped him, he
came after me. It took me many years to forgive myself and realize that
not all men are like him.

There are so many decent guys out there, We just have to remember the
signs. It wasn't until I forgave him that I opened my eyes and began to
see the light. To realize I was good enough and that there must be a
good man out there to love me back. There was. I met him twice. They
were both wonderful loving men. I lost them both. But, you know what? I
was ever so lucky to have had those loves, that if I never have it
again; I can be happy having had it.
Go with grace and be loved my friend.
Kat