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Topic: Indecisiveness
no photo
Thu 12/10/09 09:42 AM


I recently went on a date with someone who said "I dunno" when I asked him what he wanted to do, after he asked me out. So, I decided what we'd do and where we'd go. He let me know he wanted to see me again, so I asked him what he had planned. He said "I dunno." I told him to think about it and let me know. Yesterday, he asked what I wanted to do.

It isn't that I expect the guy to make all the decisions. But, I don't want to date someone who can't make any decisions at all.

How do you all handle indecisive people?


some guys are attracted to women that takes charge ...sounds like he is hoping this from you or trying to groom you into a dominatrix mentality


There's a big difference between someone taking charge and being a dominatrix. laugh

franshade's photo
Thu 12/10/09 09:47 AM



I recently went on a date with someone who said "I dunno" when I asked him what he wanted to do, after he asked me out. So, I decided what we'd do and where we'd go. He let me know he wanted to see me again, so I asked him what he had planned. He said "I dunno." I told him to think about it and let me know. Yesterday, he asked what I wanted to do.

It isn't that I expect the guy to make all the decisions. But, I don't want to date someone who can't make any decisions at all.

How do you all handle indecisive people?


I tell them to contact me when they can make a decision.

Not rocket science, just throw options in the mix and pick one, geeeeezzzz.

:wink:


I did that. He came back a couple days later and asked what I wanted to do.


well his indecisiveness is constant - not a fluke :wink:

go out and have fun



no photo
Thu 12/10/09 09:50 AM



I recently went on a date with someone who said "I dunno" when I asked him what he wanted to do, after he asked me out. So, I decided what we'd do and where we'd go. He let me know he wanted to see me again, so I asked him what he had planned. He said "I dunno." I told him to think about it and let me know. Yesterday, he asked what I wanted to do.

It isn't that I expect the guy to make all the decisions. But, I don't want to date someone who can't make any decisions at all.

How do you all handle indecisive people?


some guys are attracted to women that takes charge ...sounds like he is hoping this from you or trying to groom you into a dominatrix mentality


There's a big difference between someone taking charge and being a dominatrix. laugh


only a spanky spanky seperates the two

franshade's photo
Thu 12/10/09 09:51 AM




I recently went on a date with someone who said "I dunno" when I asked him what he wanted to do, after he asked me out. So, I decided what we'd do and where we'd go. He let me know he wanted to see me again, so I asked him what he had planned. He said "I dunno." I told him to think about it and let me know. Yesterday, he asked what I wanted to do.

It isn't that I expect the guy to make all the decisions. But, I
don't want to date someone who can't make any decisions at all.

How do you all handle indecisive people?


some guys are attracted to women that takes charge ...sounds like he is hoping this from you or trying to groom you into a dominatrix mentality


There's a big difference between someone taking charge and being a dominatrix. laugh


only a spanky spanky seperates the two

frustrated I've had it wrong all these years frustrated


:laughing:

no photo
Thu 12/10/09 09:55 AM
I was actually curious as to how others handle indecisive people. Only a couple said they don't mind making all the decisions. What about the rest?

JerseyCoffeeGirl's photo
Thu 12/10/09 10:04 AM
Sorry, but this behavior is not going to change. If you like making all the decisions and playing 150 questions for EACH decision - enjoy! My ex is just that way! In our case I would ask, receive the answer "whatever you want is fine" and at first I would just make the decision and that's how it was. After awhile I realized that he would moan and complain about my decision so I would remind him that he told me 'whatever I wanted'!! I realized that his response was truth -- I could decide whatever I wanted but if it was not what HE wanted, it was the wrong decision and I would never hear the end of it. We played that game for years and I ended up playing it right back. I'd give him my decision, he'd tell me why he didn't want it that way and how it should be and I'd pounce! I'd tell him that if he had only said what he wanted to begin with we could have been MUCH further along. It was a very immature way to behave but it was the only way to deal with him. I'm so glad I learned and am moving on from it!! It was NOT for me.

no photo
Thu 12/10/09 10:57 AM
I think the "I dunno" or the "whatever is fine with me" would get old pretty quickly.

Goofball73's photo
Thu 12/10/09 11:00 AM

I recently went on a date with someone who said "I dunno" when I asked him what he wanted to do, after he asked me out. So, I decided what we'd do and where we'd go. He let me know he wanted to see me again, so I asked him what he had planned. He said "I dunno." I told him to think about it and let me know. Yesterday, he asked what I wanted to do.

It isn't that I expect the guy to make all the decisions. But, I don't want to date someone who can't make any decisions at all.

How do you all handle indecisive people?


Electroshock therapy.

no photo
Mon 12/21/09 10:10 AM
Apparently, the guy I was supposed to go on a second date with didn't think I really wanted to know what he wanted to do and thought I'd just choose for him. Definitely not the kind of guy for me.

ron62449's photo
Mon 12/21/09 01:35 PM

I recently went on a date with someone who said "I dunno" when I asked him what he wanted to do, after he asked me out. So, I decided what we'd do and where we'd go. He let me know he wanted to see me again, so I asked him what he had planned. He said "I dunno."


Asking your choice to get your input what to do, that's nice.

It's wimpy and indescisive to say/give "I dunno."
"What do you want to do?" Big difference.

I've been with women that I wanted input from, but
"I donno".......

Next time he says "I dunno." "What do you want to do?" Do the most feminine thing you can think of -
quilt show, doll display, ect. Men, if she says it -
paintball wars, skeet shooting, ect. You get the right idea, even if it's something you have no interest in, but show enthisism.

Ron

RainbowTrout's photo
Mon 12/21/09 01:49 PM
I can't help but think of those two vultures in the Disney movie. "The Jungle Book". :smile:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGTWmrnPdgk

no photo
Tue 12/22/09 05:40 PM


I recently went on a date with someone who said "I dunno" when I asked him what he wanted to do, after he asked me out. So, I decided what we'd do and where we'd go. He let me know he wanted to see me again, so I asked him what he had planned. He said "I dunno."


Asking your choice to get your input what to do, that's nice.

It's wimpy and indescisive to say/give "I dunno."
"What do you want to do?" Big difference.

I've been with women that I wanted input from, but
"I donno".......

Next time he says "I dunno." "What do you want to do?" Do the most feminine thing you can think of -
quilt show, doll display, ect. Men, if she says it -
paintball wars, skeet shooting, ect. You get the right idea, even if it's something you have no interest in, but show enthisism.

Ron


There isn't going to be a next time!

no photo
Tue 12/22/09 05:40 PM

I can't help but think of those two vultures in the Disney movie. "The Jungle Book". :smile:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGTWmrnPdgk


laugh

aladytoo's photo
Wed 12/23/09 04:05 AM

I recently went on a date with someone who said "I dunno" when I asked him what he wanted to do, after he asked me out. So, I decided what we'd do and where we'd go. He let me know he wanted to see me again, so I asked him what he had planned. He said "I dunno." I told him to think about it and let me know. Yesterday, he asked what I wanted to do.

It isn't that I expect the guy to make all the decisions. But, I don't want to date someone who can't make any decisions at all.

How do you all handle indecisive people?


Just by what you have posed here looks like maybe neither one of you did your homework,before the date.Communication before the date, likes hobbies, intrests,music,etc etc... if you both had that type of information,one could come up with ideas, you both injoy.Also knowing whats affordable for both.

I understand what they guy was going threw,he liked you and wanted you to have a great time with him, thats why he let you make the choices.As for requesting the second date.Same thing applies,because he has not recieved any feed back your intrested yet.All he's doing is feeling you out.If you would of said"Thanks had a great time hope you did as well,looking forward to seeing you again,and mention something he stated he likes doing..per say..hey you like action movies, so do I, lets looking into doing that next time....Just a suggestion.IMO

no photo
Wed 12/23/09 08:45 AM


I recently went on a date with someone who said "I dunno" when I asked him what he wanted to do, after he asked me out. So, I decided what we'd do and where we'd go. He let me know he wanted to see me again, so I asked him what he had planned. He said "I dunno." I told him to think about it and let me know. Yesterday, he asked what I wanted to do.

It isn't that I expect the guy to make all the decisions. But, I don't want to date someone who can't make any decisions at all.

How do you all handle indecisive people?


Just by what you have posed here looks like maybe neither one of you did your homework,before the date.Communication before the date, likes hobbies, intrests,music,etc etc... if you both had that type of information,one could come up with ideas, you both injoy.Also knowing whats affordable for both.

I understand what they guy was going threw,he liked you and wanted you to have a great time with him, thats why he let you make the choices.As for requesting the second date.Same thing applies,because he has not recieved any feed back your intrested yet.All he's doing is feeling you out.If you would of said"Thanks had a great time hope you did as well,looking forward to seeing you again,and mention something he stated he likes doing..per say..hey you like action movies, so do I, lets looking into doing that next time....Just a suggestion.IMO


You probably shouldn't assume. Yes, we did chat about those things before the date. He did not pay attention.

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