How much control do others have in your life? For instance, would you date outside of your race knowing family and friends will disown you or worse? Or if you are gay, have you come out despite all the grief you will get?

What was your experience if you did?

I believe it is more important to be who you are than cater to these unreasonable expectations of others.

The next woman I date will be a pagan. Let's see how my religious family feels about that one!

They will try to convert her, you already know...lol

I have control of my life - If I want to date outside my race that is my own decision, I mean my family is not going to date him. If I was gay they would just have to accept me for who I am and if they don't they know where the door is.

I agree and live the same way.

I do find it interesting that we (human beings) typically do date and marry those who are like ourselves. If I am a Christian, then more than likely I will find a woman who shares this belief. If I am a white male, typically I will marry within my race (although interracial couples are more prevelant today than they used to be).

For me, I keep my options open. I know that if I dated a Pagan woman, who did not believe in God, it would mean that she and I would have some very interesting debates on religion. But is it so far fetched to think that I couldn't fall for a woman who believed this way? I don't think it is.

On the other hand, I love my family, and I would love for them to adore the woman I am with. Would they be shocked to see me dating a black woman? Yes, they would. Would it upset some of them? More than likely. But is my happiness what matters most? You damn right it is.

Is it a rhetoric question? Anyway:

Influence = Zero. However it may not suit to everybody.

Experience = Zero. Because I never paid attention to others’ judgments about me. I live with it happily ever after.

I utterly agree it is more important…

I pray to trees. Pagan enough???

I have total control of my life.. My children just want me to be happy.. If I would decide to date or marry outside of my race that would be my decision and I don't think they would say much unless they thought my life was in danger... However, I do not normally date men younger than my children just out of respect for them but then again that option is open to change... You never know who you will meet that would make you happy!

My family has a big influence merely because I trust their judgment and their interest in my happiness to be their underlying motive. It doesnt mean that we will always agree but I have to look at the reasons for their disagreement and seriously consider them. For instance, if I was one who chose to be with a married man because I 'loved' him, my family would not support it and it would be harder for me to justify it in my own conscious than if my family just set back and had no opinion or said it was fine because it made me happy.

Because my family has molded much of who I am, I would have to say,,they have a pretty big influence on my choices,,directly and indirectly.

I have always had complete control of my life the only thing I did not do was while my grandmother was alive I would not live with a man. I did that out of Respect for her not due to she would disown me. No matter what choices other family members have made to me that is their business not mine to judge them on.

But other then that if I did not date outside of my race it was due to the fact I did not meet one that appealed to me in that sense. And I'm straight as an arrow and have never had the desire to be with one of my own sex so that does not apply to me.

I as well use this same outlook with my kids their life is theirs to live they are both over 18. No matter what choices they make my love for them will never change nor do I try to control their lives.

I agree, my children have known all their lives that no matter who they ended up loving as long as they were of age and consent, I fully supported them. I just want them to have happiness in their lives whereever they find it.

Good answer, cats, let me also add that one must be prepared to live with the consequences of writing off their family for their bold and brave decision. We could probably do it, but not everyone can.

I think the question reveals boys – girls differences. No boy will ever admit that his family and friends influence his decisions. No girl will ever admit that she may express disrespect to her family and friends. Nobody will ever admit one’s mental disability to make decisions. -- And that will be correct; everyone is personally responsible for one’s decisions (with advice or without).

None, because there isn't anyone in my life in the first place!



Agreed.

my families opinion matters...however if the guy treats me right and makes me happy thats what matters most

Be who you wish,an do as you wish,as long as you don't cause harm on another,that is life!!!

Children do come first,that is only to try an teach them well,what we teach them now,is what they get,when they get older.
An i state...When they get older,cause we will be gone then!!!

So teach your children well,so they will teach their children well !

I think its a difference in social roles. The MAJORITY of the time it will be the woman to raise children and her family support will be very important so she may tend to be more conscious of her families feelings. A Man on the otherhand, can usually rely on the woman and her family to take care of the children, if he or his family does it it is usually considered something remarkable or praise worthy. The Man, typically, from the time he leaves home is nurtured to feel like his decisions are his own as is his life, whereas women are generally nurtured to think of their life as belonging to their kids and their family.

I concur

if i dated a horse, mom might be perturbed.

i believe my daughter is gay, or at least bisexual. i've already let my family know that if they ever say anything derogatory about it, we'll never show up, period. i don't think they'll treat her differently, but they do feel it's wrong...which i do not. i've also let it be known that any partner she has will be invited, as well.

the hardest was when i was dating an atheist (since then, i believe i'm becoming one myself) and they reaaaaally wanted to convert him.