Topic: In a nutshell, your simple philosophy for life..
wux's photo
Thu 11/19/09 08:23 AM
Edited by wux on Thu 11/19/09 08:24 AM


You paint too bleak a picture.

Women wield some incredible power over their men when they become their servants in old age.

Aside from having machines do all the chores, and other than starting and ending the machine cycles, there is not much slavery to do. The woman can make the tea, the toast, the bed, or prepare his enema, at any time she wants. She can make a man beg for her mercy without making him realize that he's doing exactly that. A simple "yes dear" or "no dear" from the wife will kill the musroom of resistance from the man when he feels suppressed in attaining his idolized lifesytle that would allow him to eat when he wants to, to go for a nap when he wants to, to go to the washroom when he wants to (Dear, you cannot go in now, I just washed the tiles above hte cabinet), to watch bikini-clad girls play volleyball on the tube when he wants to. Instead, he sits in his Lazee boy chair, feet up, watching tv incessantly, while the wife (who's ten years younger than he from the word "go") can go shopping for groceries, catch up with the girls, flirt with the grocery boy (making him get dry heaves and shindles), accept flirtation from the greengrocer, get a fitting for a new hat, talk to the bread man's wife about how everything is becoming so expensive. After a lifetime of hubby going out and getting entertained at work with competition and socializing, and with learning about the world, while she was stuck at home with three kids whom she lovingly raised, now he's home, stuck with the Lazee boy and the tv, and it's she who goes out into the world, galavanting like some muskateer from Louis XIVth's court.

Then she goes home, to her loving and extremely bored husband, who can only smoke in stealth mode, who can only dream of having some human interaction.

She prepares the meal, he sleeps in front of the set, she serves the meal, he comes into the dining room, and she'll tell him not to slurp, not to eat that fast, not to let out wind during dinner, and all-in-all makes his meal most immemorably miserable. He reaches for the salt-shaker, she says, dear, remember what the doctor told you; he reaches for the sugar bowl, she says dear, remember your blood glucose. He reaches for the cream she says, dear, that's fattening, and he reaches for the cyanide, she says, dear, what would the children say. Yet, in secret, he thanks the dear Lord for his luck of having such a wonderful little wife.

At night,...

Well, you get the picture.

"I will turn your face to alabaster
When you find your servant is your master."


He has other choices.

He can get up and actually do something and stop letting his wife tell him what to do.

It goes both ways.

He could actually cook a meal once in a while, or learn how.

And if you think that just because women have washing machines and dishwashers there is no house work to do then the man should have no problem getting up off the couch and loading the dish washer and washing his own clothes and putting them in the dryer and then hanging them up himself.

Maybe some women enjoy the power they have over their man and visa versa but neither can be free if that is what they desire... to have control or power over the other.


It's true neither can be free, but remember it's a relationship, which ab ovo excludes the luxury of personal freedom. In exchange for giving up that freedom you get some other benefits.

This exchange of freedom for other benefits sometimes puts the members in the couplehood into roles they can't easily escape. You write "He can get up and actually do something and stop letting his wife tell him what to do." In an ideal world it's possible, yes, and maybe even desirable, I don't know. I just sense that the couple has struggled a lifetime together to find for each the niche in the marriage; for the man to get up and do his own dishes or sox the woman might not find helpful or even amusing. She might find it an encroachment on her territory. Remember, inherent power in social relationships rests with the person who provides for the community. This often translates into social power. The woman, in my estimate, would rather load the dishwasher AND maintain her power to tell her husband not to slurp. The giving up of the one would mean the giving up of the other, and I think she does not want that. He may want that; but their relationship and power base has solidified over the years into a hardened unwritten social contract. They both, also because of their age, are deathly afraid of change, of upsetting the status quo.

That's why I say that he'd rather die of boredom than encroach on her territory; and she'd happily contine washing his sox in exchange for the power it gives her over him.

In closing, I assert he has no other choices but to sit in the Lazee chair, and the woman is not a slave, for slaves have no power over their masters.

no photo
Thu 11/19/09 08:50 AM
Edited by Jeanniebean on Thu 11/19/09 08:58 AM
Maybe some women enjoy the power they have over their man and visa versa but neither can be free if that is what they desire... to have control or power over the other.

In closing, I assert he has no other choices but to sit in the Lazee chair, and the woman is not a slave, for slaves have no power over their masters.


Not true. Slaves have a lot of power over their masters.

Okay you are talking about a relationship that has lasted for years and is solid and hence in a rut that is hard to change. I agree. If both partners are comfortable in that role and don't want change that is what they have chosen whether they like it or not. It is their own creation. If they are not 'happy' with that they have no one to blame but themselves.

But I am talking about two people my age, (60) who just met and have a new relationship. They are not in a rut except the rut they bring to the relationship. Here is where their life long experience and ideas come into play and they step into these man-woman rolls as if they were in a rut, keeping with tradition.

It is not easy to change the traditional rolls of man-woman relationships even if you just met. It takes work and sometimes it does take a life-time to make a relationship really work.

In the end is the couple who has been together "happy?" Not usually. They just don't know anything else. They don't know how to 'be happy.' They just settle for comfort or survival because they are tired of fighting for their independence.

All this because of what? They don't want to be alone?

Get a pet.

bigsmile
drinker










Ruth34611's photo
Thu 11/19/09 12:38 PM
Don't worry. It'll all be over soon.

MirrorMirror's photo
Thu 11/19/09 01:15 PM
smile2 We are stardustsmile2

no photo
Thu 11/19/09 01:55 PM

Don't worry. It'll all be over soon.


You really think so?

Are you expecting the world to come to an end in 1012? laugh

wux's photo
Thu 11/19/09 02:15 PM
Edited by wux on Thu 11/19/09 02:16 PM

But I am talking about two people my age, (60) who just met and have a new relationship.


That's like taking the front of a Ford Mustang and the back of a Sierra Nevada, slamming them together and hoping that they fit and that the unit is going to be drivable.

I know, it's hopeless. At least you look good, but you have these impossible expectations of men to pick up their old sox. I look crap, but I wash my own skid marks.

We both can't imagine ever settling for something less than what we want.

We'll both die loveless, forgotten, cooped up in some smelly old folk's home, dying of boredom between dishwater-tasting meals, and getting angry at the bossy and demanding staff's hutzpah. You and I will not get visitors, our mouths will be dry, our behinds marred with hemmorhoids, our legs immobile and our hands useless. We count the seconds and the hours and the days with our stares fixed to the ceiling, and when the grim reaper appears, we'll still want to hang on to this stupid and f up life. We'll bargain for another day... another hour... a few more seconds... and then it's going to be over, baby.


None too soon if you ask me.

MirrorMirror's photo
Thu 11/19/09 02:18 PM
:smile: The stars are living beings.:smile:

MirrorMirror's photo
Thu 11/19/09 02:19 PM

wux's photo
Thu 11/19/09 02:29 PM

:smile: The stars are living beings.:smile:


What's your view on dead stars? (Answer: Very far. laugh : )

That was a warm-up question. This is the real one:

What's your view on death stars? (As in star wars? Stalwarts? You know, with warts and all.)

I'm sorry, I know I'm getting carried away. If the ambulance takes me to the right facility of mental wards, I'll have access to Internet computers there.

no photo
Fri 11/20/09 08:22 AM


:smile: The stars are living beings.:smile:




Mirror, They aren't ready for that information.

P.S. your picture is too big.


RoamingOrator's photo
Fri 11/20/09 08:29 AM
My philosphy: Well, I woke up this morning, might as well enjoy it.

franshade's photo
Fri 11/20/09 08:41 AM
“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”


Treat others how you'd like to be treated!

oldsage's photo
Fri 11/20/09 09:37 AM

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”


Treat others how you'd like to be treated!


Fran beat me to it & said it better.
with your permission, I will keep the improvement.

franshade's photo
Fri 11/20/09 09:50 AM
blushing aww oldsageblushing
help yourself

AGoodGuy1026's photo
Fri 11/20/09 09:52 AM
live, love, learn...


franshade's photo
Fri 11/20/09 09:54 AM
dance as if no one is watching
love as if you'll never love again

give it all you've got!

MirrorMirror's photo
Fri 11/20/09 12:04 PM


:smile: The stars are living beings.:smile:


What's your view on dead stars? (Answer: Very far. laugh : )

That was a warm-up question. This is the real one:

What's your view on death stars? (As in star wars? Stalwarts? You know, with warts and all.)

I'm sorry, I know I'm getting carried away. If the ambulance takes me to the right facility of mental wards, I'll have access to Internet computers there.
:smile: The are incredibly longlived.:smile: They follow a life cycle. :smile: They do not think like we do.:smile: When they die,they decay and collapse in upon themselves.:smile:

no photo
Fri 11/20/09 12:14 PM
May the force be with youdrinker

no photo
Fri 11/20/09 12:15 PM
ignorance is bliss, so stay #$%^## up

TBRich's photo
Fri 11/20/09 12:44 PM

smile2 We are stardustsmile2


We are Golden and we got to get ourselves back to the Garden....