yes, what comes around goes around... eh?

at lest you are learning young...

that's true! but don't you think that person should have atleast shown me some respect by ateast sending me a dear john letter or something? we were talking for 3 years she was my first the person could have been lying about the depression and rehab just to get away i wish i knew what went wrong it makes me feel like unwanted garbage!

Nope, I screwed it up. We could still be together if not for my mistakes, and her choice not to see my personal improvement. 50/50 as most relationships are, half you, half them.

Yes, that has happened to me. Unfortunately, the only thing that helps is time. You get up every morning and you "do the day". Keep going forward and rebuilding your life. Baby steps.

There are no victims, only volunteers.

Of course I've been betrayed.
Taught me well.
And not just negative things.
Taught me that I must forgive, or be poisoned forever.

Yes, she should have, it would have been the right thing to do. However, you seem incredibly angry and resentful that she didn't (understandable). What you need to understand is that you have no control over another's actions, the ONLY thing you have control over is yourself and how you choose to react. Yes, it hurts, I'm sure. But she didn't show any responsibility during your relationship, so why you would expect different NOW, well that's you imposing your expectations and standards of behavior on her. And trust me, that NEVER works. She is who she is, as you are who you are. Expecting either one of you to change for someone else is unrealistic, unhealthy and a waste of time.

Accept that she is who she is, she did what she did and you cannot change it. Only then can you begin the process of moving forward, hopefully wiser, stronger and better able to see people for who they are, not who you think they should be or want them to be.

I think that everyone has had some kind of heartache. To me, dating is not a matter of finding what you want so much as what you do not want. Trial and error. It is the only way that people learn. Bitterness and hate get people no where. Forgive and forget however, easier said than done!

that's right and like the saying what goes around comes around thank you SuzinVA you have been a big help!

well said m-man

Exactly. Just remember, everyone will create their own karma, it tends to come back to you if you try to "help" someone else's along

I'm glad I could help

We ALL do this & have it happen to us.
We ALL have some manner of responsibility for what happens.
We chose to put ourselves in these situations & handle them as we chose.
Hold it tight & the bitterness will consume you.
Let it go, forgive & you will grow, as you never have.

Been there, for both sides.
I now chose to grow.

We ALL do this & have it happen to us.
We ALL have some manner of responsibility for what happens.
We chose to put ourselves in these situations & handle them as we chose.
Hold it tight & the bitterness will consume you.
Let it go, forgive & you will grow, as you never have.

Been there, for both sides.
I now chose to grow.

that's right! i'm hoping the right woman will come along here on mingle! but i have also talked to so women on here that's been very fake!

Romee, the right woman is not going to make you happy. Only you can do that. The right women will enhance your happiness and the wrong woman won't take away from your happiness, so long as you're right with yourself.

Biggest betrayals,,,,first husbands infidelity , second husbands emotional abuse,,,and of course, a few 'friends' who have lied when there was no need,,


Not really so bad to have lived forty years. I consider myself lucky, just a bit wiser (smile)

Just don't lose hope. I did the online thing for almost three years. Man did I meet some whackos. Just keep on truckin until you find the person you want and need. Do not settle for anything less than you deserve. My mother actually got to the point where she was angry for my love life being like a revolving door, lol. But I would not settle. Now I have the best husband I think has ever existed!

Mine have rarely been "stabbed in the back" betrayals -- there was one stab in the shoulder and a later attempt by my ex-mother-in-law to have me killed -- but that's the exception to the rule....

Most of mine have been verbal betrayals -- "I'll tell him what he wants to hear until I'm in position to make my own demands" -- demands which would have prevented those relationships from getting off the ground had I known they existed in the beginning.

This is one reason I don't believe anything people say anymore!

You should inform them that you are now worshipped and have your own religion.

you ladies are right thank's SuzinVA and buffry.

Not till I get my own televangelism show.