geez......didn't know I would cause such a stir, but good to get feedback none the less.

to clarify my original post.........
he nudged, i responded and we traded emails and ims for a few weeks. he said in one post that he was tired of people judging him without knowing him, never did it cross my mind it would be a physical flaw he was referring to. i think we have all been there..... we are all flawed to some degree.
when i inquired about the lack of teeth, he responded he lost them in a bar fight in 92, and since they were so costly to replace, it was never that important to him. we were just at the point where we were trying to meet up. the bar fight scenerio reminded me of high school.....
we were not in a committed relationship, and i would never had left someone i was in a relationship with for something so superficial. that would make me shallow and a *****.
the point i was trying to make is that i thought he should have been honest up front about it and let me judge for myself. clearly if he was tired of people judging him without knowing him, this has been an issue for him before and he is aware that most women would have a problem with it.
we were planning on going canoeing together, when was he going to share this with me?
when we were alone on the river? i can hear the banjos in my head

Bottom line.......i should have listened to my gut, and hit delete when he told me about the bar fight

eh, anything can cause stir here, many people many perspectives.
Bottom line..you can do what ever you want in this situation and any other.
We all get to do that..make our own choices about who we want to spend out time and energy on..

well put, thank you

Another red flag would be that since 1992 that he couldn't afford to get partials or remedy the matter. He either didn't have insurance, cash flow or good enough credit. Maybe he is not financially secure?

I don't want a man to "pay" for me but I sure want him to take care of himself and ALL of his OWN needs.

Just move on and don't worry about everyone's opinion. Unless you are prepared for the mob mentality from differing opinions, it will only unnerve you.

This place is supposed to be fun.

it is fun, thanks for your thoughts

Melody, in case you didn't read the OP, she was asking for opinions! All I've seen from many people, including the OP, is despite the fact that a person may be a great person, if they have a problem with their teeth, it automatically makes them unwanted. Pretty damn superficial of a lot of you.

I think you know the answer to wheather this is shallow or not.

Not every one is blessed with dental care or the extensive amount, of money it takes to remove damaged or diseased teeth then repair absent teeth with dentures or implants even when they try as much as they can to do the normal preventive brushing or flossing. Be real you are talking about nothing short of $5,000. to start money up front all the way to $20,000 for full extraction and reconstruction. Some parents don't have it and as people struggle getting their start in the world it is a while before benifits kick in. Yes things like rent, transportation, food, education, going to work, and yes even dating take priority.

While you might think teeth are essential to appearance or even life many people learn to eat, speak, and live there life without them. People get to know them and see them as whole people and they become able to see themselves the same way. Evidently this person offered many of the qualities that interested you.

Should he have told you? Did he know his appearance was not the norm? Yes. In his defense He probably figured you knew. Evidently it wasn't all that obvious if you didn't notice from photos. Maybe he thought you knew and didn't care. Hope about being accepted is pretty powerful.

What does it matter how he lost his teeth? Would it make any real difference? If you are so freaked out he lost them in a fight did you ever ask him what the fight was about or when? Guys get in fights. Girls get in fights. They cut up each other with words. You going to tell me you have never defended yourself?

I'm guessing you are angry because you had the whole Prince Charming Dream going on and reality hit. Sorry. Put your big girl pants on and get over it. If you are lucky you will get a chance to have a guy who has something about him to keep him going even when life is not so pretty. Maybe you are lucky enough he will still love you when your looks start to wear off. It will and maybe very suddenly if you tangle in a car accident, trip and fall somewhere, or contract a gum disease useing your girlfriend's lipstick or kissing some guy who has a perfect looking mouth that has been somewhere it shouldn't. What goes around comes around.

I wont date fat girls

or ugly girls

or illiterate inarticulate girls

does that make me shallow?

i would hope that no one would ever date me if they didn't find me attractive, in every way.

if someone was turned off by a particular characteristic of mine, the last thing i'd want is for them to be with me 'in spite of....'.

it's all or nothing.

i could care less if they thought i had a big nose, or a big ***, or little boobs. if they are not attracted to all that, as a package, then don't do me a favour by dating me. don't ask me out, for the first time, or again.

Heh. I'll remind myself not to nudge or email the OP then.

I lost one of my top teeth in the front due to a mishap at work. It wasn't a work related accident, so comp doesn't pay for it and I don't have any dental insurance yet. I JUST got to the point where I could afford health insurance.

I lost two teeth ( bottom front ) despite my best efforts to keep it from happening. They were never very good in the first place. Badly misaligned and a couple of other problems with them. I have every intention of getting partials or something to give me my smile back, but for the time being I simply can't afford to.

I suppose this means I should just stay in my house and not bother trying to date until I get them fixed?

Ok.

She asked but didn't want to argue necessarily.

As with me, you are intitled to your opinion.

Have a good day.

nope.

robin has a missing tooth. it's my absolute favourite thing about him and when he grins at me, sideways, he looks more sexy than anyone i've ever known.

it was him that i loved, not his teeth, or lack of them.

however, if we were planning on meeting and he never told me that he didn't have any teeth left, i'd be mostly p!ssed that he didn't share that information with me. it's almost like showing up for a date and not recognizing the other person because the photo they posted was 200 lbs and 20 years ago.

there's someone for everyone, we all don't have the same preferences and/or desires. just because someone doesn't like the way i look, it doesn't mean the next person will feel the same.

Oh, Mr. Music, You are being a pooey-head aren't you? I just KNOW if you went to pick up a gal and she was missing all her teeth due to an addiction to crack in '92 you would do a 180 and split.

No! You can come on over. I have snacks left from the Charger game. But my vacuum blew up and there's dust everywhere.

i can hear the banjos in my head

Bottom line.......i should have listened to my gut, and hit delete when he told me about the bar fight




Banjos!! Ha!

Sweet!!! I am in a good mood since the Lions won today!

Snacks RULE!!!

And I even have enough teeth left to actually EAT them...lmao

Would a webcam detect whether or not a guy/girl had teeth? Or teeth missing?



No. Show me yours and I'll show you mine. No!!! Just show me! Just show me your teeth!

By him dentures for his birthday!

Honest to God, my mother told me to date women with good teeth.
Because if I get married, wouldn't have to spend a lot of money at the dentist.
As a parent, having paid for 2 kids through the orthodontist I understand.

I do require more teeth than tattoos.
The "tooth/tattoo ratio" must always be more teeth.

No teeth kinda throws the the whole equation off.