Topic: Please help me...
newarkjw's photo
Thu 09/17/09 06:43 PM



no one here has enough information to give valid advice

I wouldnt take it with more than a couple of grains of salt and I surely wouldnt act on the advice you get here


I totally agree...but I love him and I still wonder if its not best to let him know how I feel...if he can't return the love at least I could try to move on...at least start the healing process...ths one is going to rip me up!


Agree with what Quiteman said. Now I am going to give you my advicelaugh

I would think getting involved with a cop may be like marrying someone in the military, ( I am at least familiar with that) you are not just marrying them, but their lifestyle. No matter how great the man is, his job may end up defining him as a husband.

Good Luck.


Exactly. Everybody is something.......smokin

no photo
Thu 09/17/09 07:54 PM


no one here has enough information to give valid advice

I wouldnt take it with more than a couple of grains of salt and I surely wouldnt act on the advice you get here


I totally agree...but I love him and I still wonder if its not best to let him know how I feel...if he can't return the love at least I could try to move on...at least start the healing process...ths one is going to rip me up!


But I love him/her. How many of us have remained stuck in a situation because of love, yet we know that it's not a healthy place to be. Just because you love someone, doesn't mean that they are the best person for you. You are allowing yourself to continue living in a huge question mark. It's not a good place to be. Too many questions = too much confusion. You may love him, but it seems you're not happy. Don't settle for less than what you deserve!

no photo
Fri 09/18/09 12:44 AM
Well i wouldn't say anything much here.But i don't understand what he means by being busy with work.Ask yourself,is he busy to the extend that he doesn't even get time to even bath,or sleep and have a rest at home?No matter how busy we sometimes are we get a little time for ourselves to interact wit nature.So let him understand your feelings and don't keep dump.And if he's not a cybort,he'll understand

no photo
Fri 09/18/09 12:46 AM

Ummmm..... how many big burly disciplined, well trained professional men do you know who just blurt out how they feel?

And if they do..... how many run for their cave.... shivering and quaking???



You aren't a mind reader.... so ask him....

simple.

'Can you see this going anywhere with you and I?'


'Is this it? How it will always look?'


And then decide for yourself.

The guy is in an intense job.... so he's an intense person.... and it isn't like he just sprang his work on you an hour ago....he's been doing it since you met.


You have to ask yourself, if his work life suits you....and if it doesn't then say thankyou, but bye.

He is going to continue being him.... and you get to continue being you.





drinker

no photo
Fri 09/18/09 05:07 AM
Dated cop for 10 months, and really she was just to busy for a relationship.

no photo
Fri 09/18/09 05:15 AM
My father was a cop, it is a VERY hard existence for the family. And if he says he's busy, he is, it's a 24/7/365 job for most of them. And it is stressful, not only on him but it will be on you as well. Law enforcement also has a high rate of addiction and yes, cheating. Anything that reduces the stress level. Whether or not he loves you or wants a future with you is moot at this point, because it seems to me that you may not be able to accept that you and your potential life together will come 2nd to his job, 99% of the time anyway. That is only something you can decide. And you must be brutally honest with yourself. Love, at this point, has nothing to do with it. Right now, acceptance is what needs addressing. If you feel you can happily and joyfully accept all of that, only then can you address love and marriage.

I wish you luck, after what I went through with my dad, I've made it point not to date cops as I know I cannot do that again. But, that's just me, there are many women who would have no problem with it.

no photo
Fri 09/18/09 05:52 AM
Well, sometimes the harder they are to catch the more we like to try, and i know when iam first getting into a relationship i tottaly have a think about him all the time problem, i would tell you to talk to him about where he sees the both of you going, allow him to tell you if he is an *** move on, if not you know where you both stand. It is better to know now than to waste more time on

Goofball73's photo
Fri 09/18/09 06:01 AM
Busy means that he/she just is not into commiting more into a relationship than they already are, and they say things (like, "Hey, someday I might actually want to get married") to keep giving you false hope.

Lilypetal's photo
Fri 09/18/09 06:02 AM
I don't care how busy you are. It only takes 10 sec to dial the phone. A 5 min conversation to say, "Hey, how are you doing?" Is not too much for you to ask after 6 months IMO. I dated an under-cover cop many, many years ago. He was never too busy to get ahold of me. I can't imagine a SWAT team being deployed so much that he has no time to make a phone call.

TxsGal3333's photo
Fri 09/18/09 06:37 AM

I don't care how busy you are. It only takes 10 sec to dial the phone. A 5 min conversation to say, "Hey, how are you doing?" Is not too much for you to ask after 6 months IMO. I dated an under-cover cop many, many years ago. He was never too busy to get ahold of me. I can't imagine a SWAT team being deployed so much that he has no time to make a phone call.


I have to agree with this one for the simple fact what many have overlooked this is Friday she has not heard a word from him since last Saturday...... does that sound like a man that wants to make a commitment?

I mean hell a text, phone call or even and e-mail could have been sent within that time at least to let someone know they were thinking of them.....

But yeah I would just be honest and wonder if I was the only one sleeping in that bed.......whoa

Ruth34611's photo
Fri 09/18/09 06:42 AM
I was a cop and was married to a cop. If he's SWAT. that's even more demanding on his time and energy than regular patrol or detectives. He is probably not going to be available for you very much. He even told you that he is very busy. It's got nothing to do with being an azzhole. It's just the way it is.

Ruth34611's photo
Fri 09/18/09 06:43 AM


But yeah I would just be honest and wonder if I was the only one sleeping in that bed.......whoa


Some cops don't cheat. But, in all honesty, most do. It's part of the "lifestyle".

longhairbiker's photo
Fri 09/18/09 07:33 AM
The relationship is over. You are already second guessing him and trying to change him into someone he is not. Over.

no photo
Fri 09/18/09 07:34 AM

The relationship is over. You are already second guessing him and trying to change him into someone he is not. Over.


Short, sweet and to the point. Yup, I think I have to agree.

longhairbiker's photo
Fri 09/18/09 07:37 AM
Over analyzing. Over.

longhairbiker's photo
Fri 09/18/09 07:38 AM
Over complicating. Over.

longhairbiker's photo
Fri 09/18/09 07:42 AM
Over thinking. Over.

no photo
Fri 09/18/09 08:05 AM

anotherwords.. just over... right


Over thinking. Over.

whatsnextny's photo
Fri 09/18/09 08:16 AM
There are not to many faith guy cops. How big is the town if it's not something like Memphis LA dc ny or a big city they don't work to many extra hours. Be carefull my friend is a swat n Memphis he works 50 hrs a week n that's it n that has the most crime n the nation

longhairbiker's photo
Fri 09/18/09 08:19 AM
We love you mry. We want the best for you. If you question it- we question it. Know what I mean? Can't be any of those doubts.