I'm in love with a man I met about 6 months ago...hes a cop with that type x personality most cops seem to have. I can never stop thinking about him...we have finally graduated from my house to his. He said he has not had many women over...but he doesn't seem to call me enough...he is swat so he says he is really busy...told me this from the first time I met him. Do I believe this or not? All the dating books say busy equals azzhole....

When I first met him he said he would never remarry but the other night he said he would...it just came up in conversation...he also said he knows he comes off as an azzhole...but said he is not...Sooo what does this all mean? That was last Saturday night...and I have not heard another word out of him since then...Do I tell him how I feel? Sometimes I think I should and then if I get a negative response at least I could try to move on...But another part of me does not want to scare him away...PLEASE HELP ME...I value your opinions...

he's a cop (control freak) RUN!

All I can say is that I was married to a cop..He was a very nice man and a good fatherbut he got so involved with his work he didn't have any time for me.. After 17 yrs I got out..I didn't like feeling like I was single but married...Granted, they are all not like that but it sure is a rough life...

So you think its a control issue?

Ummmm..... how many big burly disciplined, well trained professional men do you know who just blurt out how they feel?

And if they do..... how many run for their cave.... shivering and quaking???



You aren't a mind reader.... so ask him....

simple.

'Can you see this going anywhere with you and I?'


'Is this it? How it will always look?'


And then decide for yourself.

The guy is in an intense job.... so he's an intense person.... and it isn't like he just sprang his work on you an hour ago....he's been doing it since you met.


You have to ask yourself, if his work life suits you....and if it doesn't then say thankyou, but bye.

He is going to continue being him.... and you get to continue being you.

run, about sums it up...

I would definately tell him how you feel, even at the risk of losing him. You gotta be honest(to yourself as well as him) about what you want and how you feel.

Mry, I would tell him how you feel. Nothing ventured nothing gained. If he doesn't feel the same way better you know now. Good Luck. It will work out the way it was intended too.

Believe me, just like any other relationship take it SLOW, I just learned the hard way!!!

Coming from a retired cop, I'd say busy does=azzhole. Most of them fool around. Time to move on girl.

super high stress job

prolly lots of burn out

not many relationships survive that atmosphere

prolly not even his fault just too much tension and stress for too long

Who dropped the 'M' bomb?

You or him?

yep got that......but he brought it up....


in manspeak...especially 'show no fear' types manspeak...he told you , that he is open to a committed relationship with you.


open to the idea.....


men dont bring that stuff up, unless they are worried that you have the white dress lurking, and it isn't what they want....

or they can see themselves with this girl (you) for the long haul.

okokokok


I so have a different side for that tale.


Apparently not all cops are control freaks.

My little sister's new husband is a deputy and he is also Naval Police freshly back from Guantanamo and I can tell you, that man lets my sister WALK ALL OVER HIM.



And yet.... the guy I dated that worked in Corporate McDonald's was overly controlling to the point where I left him....

Go figure.

Yes, thats what I wondered...why would he bring this up? My friend said it meant nothing but I thin it does...

no one here has enough information to give valid advice

I wouldnt take it with more than a couple of grains of salt and I surely wouldnt act on the advice you get here

I totally agree...but I love him and I still wonder if its not best to let him know how I feel...if he can't return the love at least I could try to move on...at least start the healing process...ths one is going to rip me up!

Agree with what Quiteman said. Now I am going to give you my advice

I would think getting involved with a cop may be like marrying someone in the military, ( I am at least familiar with that) you are not just marrying them, but their lifestyle. No matter how great the man is, his job may end up defining him as a husband.

Good Luck.