and everything happens for a reason.

I agree...I don't think of my boys as accidents. I know they are supposed to be here with me.. a reason for everything.

Careful. What if you look at the other side of the coin? Is there ever an excuse for not being a mother? If not why is abortion legel?

I'm not trying to start a moral debate. My point is that if a woman doesn't want a child she has an option. Men are denied that same option. Yes, he made his chioce by having sex in the first place. But, she also made that choice (assuming she wasn't raped) and she still has another out that men don't have.

"Jane Roe" was not a nice person. She was a junkie hooker that had already given up 3 children for adoption before her case was taken to the courts. She would have been a bad mom and she knew it.

good point... I can't say for others, I just know I was meant to have my boys with me..

you make a wicked good point in your


all I can offer is this

my birth mother chose drugs over me and my little sister.

At 29 years later, she finds me (my sister and I were taken from her and placed into adoption) and expects me to want a relationship with her.

At age 5, my birth father, because of government laws back in the '80's, was forced to say good bye to me as he watched another man take his last daughter away to become her new father because the government wouldn't let him take me and my half sister. (Again 80's government sucked). 21 years later, I found him and we are trying to connect. I had never met him before that one day in '85.

Now, my daughter's father was a horrid father when he was living in the states. He was addicted to gambling and brought our family to ruin.

However, since his move back home to Israel, he has become the best father to our daughter than I would have imagined. She is attached to his hip and is happy.

I gave him a second chance to be in his daughter's life and seeing the happy glow on her face tells me that I made the right decision.

When he lost us both in '06, that is when he realised what we meant and what he did.

And he thanks me everyday for believing in him that he could change and that he got a second chance to make things right with her. He is just upset that he can't have it with me.

Oh well... C'ste la vie, yes?

Oui.

You mean the "egg donor"?

forgive and forget....

find a suitable role model

wasted energy

Yes a woman has a choice, but then again that child will be in her body. Think of how many women did or didnt abort because they really had no choice?

i understand its a hard subject.

but if you dont want to deal with the possibility of children then keep it in your pants or find a permanent solution.

Sometimes it just helps to "get it out". I feel ya'.