Nice Guys

Far from it.

bah, you've been nice to me. admit it, admit it

You tramp you

Not quite a carpet yet.

I'm nice, but I don't finish last either. I'm where I want to be, and this wasn't really started as a complaint about it. I'm happy, this was started in response to how a lot of people are always on about not finding the right person or a date...maybe it just isn't for you at this point in time.

I see a lot of threads from people asking if they should date, or why the can't find someone to date. I'm left wondering why even bother? I decided not to long ago that I am at this point in time not capable of having a relationship, for whatever reason, and that reason isn't really important as the failure rate far exceeds any success (I won't get into the math of it, people tend to be bothered by my mathmatical equations here). I think personally some people at their point in life can or cannot date, for any number of reasons. Some are more apt to date, some are more social than others...and others just need to focus on them before adding anyone else to the equation.

I suppose it is somewhat easier for me as I don't tend to like many people anyway, and am comfortable by myself. What I don't understand is that if for how ever many years one thing isn't working...why bother trying to do it in the first place? Seems like a step backwards to me, or perhaps I'm looking at it too logically. Any insight?

I can understand why folks get discouraged with dating when repeatedly their efforts are in vain, but I truly believe, while we may adapt to living single, we are not meant to live our lives alone.

Lex and Fear, I don't believe for one second that either of you are unmatachable. If the strategies you've been using aren't working, take another approach.

I see a lot of threads from people asking if they should date, or why the can't find someone to date. I'm left wondering why even bother? I decided not to long ago that I am at this point in time not capable of having a relationship, for whatever reason, and that reason isn't really important as the failure rate far exceeds any success (I won't get into the math of it, people tend to be bothered by my mathmatical equations here). I think personally some people at their point in life can or cannot date, for any number of reasons. Some are more apt to date, some are more social than others...and others just need to focus on them before adding anyone else to the equation.

I suppose it is somewhat easier for me as I don't tend to like many people anyway, and am comfortable by myself. What I don't understand is that if for how ever many years one thing isn't working...why bother trying to do it in the first place? Seems like a step backwards to me, or perhaps I'm looking at it too logically. Any insight?

I can understand why folks get discouraged with dating when repeatedly their efforts are in vain, but I truly believe, while we may adapt to living single, we are not meant to live our lives alone.

Much if the disappointment, IMO at least with the on-line thing stems from folks just not being honest about themselves and what they are seeking. In my own experience, many men my age are lookin for just hook-ups, but their profiles give you no indication of that, or are lookin for younger women and still others see your age, and I as said in another thread recently, assume you have a feeble mind and fragile bones.

I guess I, too, am a hopeless romantic and I guess I'll keep hangin' in there until I kick, but I'm a little smarter about it and pick up sooner, rather than later, saving myself from investing a lot of time and effort and a little part of heart, before I find out someone is not being forthcoming with what they are truly seeking.

Lex and Fear, I don't believe for one second that either of you are unmatachable. If the strategies you've been using aren't working, take another approach.

I think that's been the hardest part of this whole thing for me -- the idea that I've always believed, as you stated, that we're not meant to live our lives alone -- and yet it seems I was completely wrong about that.

I'm perfectly OK with being wrong, I've had lots of practice at it. It's just discouraging to see, though, that, no matter what I do, there simply is no one even remotely compatible out there.

That's my reality.



Hey, even eHarmony said I was unmatchable!!



The only thing that has EVER worked for me -- and it worked REALLY well back then -- was meeting people through friends. That's no longer an option. And I think I've tried just about every site out there -- !!

I really don't think there's anything left for me to do about that anymore....

And I think the real bottom line is I'm just tired of thinking about it. While I admit, there's something bizarre and macabre about spending the rest of my life alone, writing books, I just think it makes more sense than wasting a lot of time chasing something that doesn't even exist....?

being single and being alone are two totally different things. This is not that I have given up, it is just I prefer sex to a relationship. I am surrounded by friends all day long, I don't isolate, I just don't want to spend my life with one person, working on that. UGH! I have truly never met anyone who could change my mind on this. We are conditioned to believe in the "happily ever after" fairy tale. If that "one" person comes along that rock my world to change many years of thinking, I will meet that head on, until then...

Well EHarmony said I was unmatchable too. I think the only people they can match is 'cookie-cutter' people. Unique folks like us are too much of a challenge for them!

My question is this, why are there so many of us on dating sites? I mean, how did we all meet before dating sites? I remember when posting on a dating site or posting a personal ad was sort of the fall-back position, now it's the main stream.

There was a time I thought dating sites would be a perfect solution, because they offered access to so many people I could never have known about otherwise.

Two things I hadn't figured:

1.) While it's true that dating sites allow access to many many more people, the reality of it is that those people are all too far away to do anything about it.

2.) The homogeneity of most of the clienteles on various sites is so pervasive that, if you're looking for anything outside the mainstream, you're just plain out of luck.

You're preachin to the choir here. I've said many times there is a difference between being single and being alone. Our differences here are that you prefer just booty call and I want to invest my heart, my life, in someone.