uuuuuuummmmmmmmmmm. that was directed to allen.....

sorry you are sick allen.i'd hug ya but i've just got over the bug

at karen

sorry you are sick allen.i'd hug ya but i've just got over the bug

And besides totally freaking out over that, I'm scared that I might be taking too much anti-depressant, so I'm scared to take that now.

I dunno what to do =X

allen if you feel you are on to high a dose get with your doctor and adjust it.I recently had to higher my zoloft because i broke thru my meds...hang in bro.

thanks for the support.
I just don't know though. I am scared theyll let me go once i get what they need me to do do done.. or ill just not do well. and gas jumped up to 3.12 a gal here.. i just dont wanna fail.. id rather be at my gas station where everyone is nice to me and i know im doing well. but it doenst pay my bills

jef i have panic/anxiety disorder and i know all about leaving the comfort zone and the aversion to change but you have to pay the bills and if the old job isn't doing it ,you need to take a deep breath and move on.I lied in bed for a month barely able to leave the house because of my panic but i pulled up my bootstraps and got a job.I have now been there for 3 yrs.You can do this,i feel it.

why do I feel so horrible with the divorce finalized?? I thought I was o.k. with it. I've been separated for 2 1/2 yrs. and knew he was divorcing me, but the finality of it just hit me so damn hard!!!

I can't seem to bring myself to go and do anything today. It was a gorgeous day too. What is wrong with me?? Wish I could feel happy again. I am meeting lots of new friends on jsh, so thank god for that. Yet I'm scared to death that the one I meet here will turn out like the scam artist from eharm lastyr. God that was awful.... Stayed away from all dating sites until just a wk or 2 ago.

Just needed to vent. Thanks

Torey - probably just the reality setting in. Try to turn it around to enjoying your freedom finally. Give yourself some time to adjust, you are in transition still. Go slow, take as much time as you need. You came to the right site, this place has lots of great people on it, both men and women, and they can be very supportive. I would recommend you get into the forums and start posting so they get to know you and you will start making friends all over the place. Just go slow with any men you meet, and get to know them well. Sorry you had a problem with a scammer on that other site, that can happen anywhere, but take it slow and get to know them really well and hopefully it won't happen again.
Welcome to the site and I really think you will make some good friends here. Take care and give yourself some time to get over the divorce and adjust. Consider it a new beginning, the first day of your new life.

Torey, what you speak of I found out to be institutionalized and cultural shock. Marriage can give a false sense of security. One can overcome the fear of dating that way sense one already has one. The cultural shock is when realizes even though a divorce was the right thing to do it sure is different than being married. Strange that one can miss the antagonist. It can become a damn if you and damn if you don't kind of situation. While one is hopefully smart enough to not do like I did and remarry the same one only then to remember why one went through the divorce the first time. Marriage can institionalize one as one can grow used to the idea that one is not alone for there is the other. As one becomes single from a divorce one has to reidentify who one's self is to one. The change from the 'we' state to the 'I' state is where the cultural shock comes in. It is like a shock to the system. One if not careful can get remarried too early only to find themself back to where they feel the need to get divorced again and one can find one's self in a vicious cycle. It reminds me of the movie, "Altered States". There is this psychological, emotional, spiritual reconditioning that takes place as one gets conditioned to the idea that a great change has taken place. I could of just said what Marie said in a few words, I know.

Well said, Hill.

indeed Hill........

Thanks, Marie. I have single friends who tell me it is ok to be single and I have married friends who tell me that it is ok to be married. There is a book out where this one lady asks the question of, "Why do I think I have to have a man in my life to feel complete?" I am sure the question can apply to both sexes if the reversed was asked, "Why do I feel that I need a woman in my life to feel complete?" I can remember one self-help book that goes over the idea of the successful divorce. I think it is cool to celebrate one's divorce anniversary date just like one used to celebrate one's marriage anniversary date. What I find helpful is to not isolate when one is in the unmarried state. I try to be around people if I feel like I am isolating. Went through this fear of claustophobia and agraphobia. Both are extreme states of too little space and too much space. After a while one can get this attitude of it is ok to be me. I think that is a cool state.

Thank you Marie and Hill!
I so appreciate all and everything that was said. I did end up getting together with a few girlfriends and we went out for dinner and then went dancing.

That is awesome, Torey. I have a great social life at work. Just last night while I was coming on when we do our first rounds I was working with my lesbian friend who just came back to work as an aide. As I was going through the facility I was noticing that the shift before hadn't pulled up their trash bags in the rooms. I started singing this impromtu song that I made up of I am not going to bytch to the tune of, "There is no place like home" from the movie, "The Wizard of Oz" where Dorothy sings. I kept saying, "I am not going to bytch" My lesbian friend told me that that never worked for her. She told me that I need to learn how to crack the whip. She didn't like doing the second shift's job as much as I did to bend over to pull up the trash bags in each room we went into. In one of our rooms they took out a mirror that one resident has. He likes to talk to the little boy in the mirror who he calls he son. I found out that they took out the mirror because he was arguing with the little boy who is actually him. I am thinking about writing a book called, "Insanity, The Next Generation" about all the stuff. Like this one resident who had a doll that they gave her which she thought was real and she couldn't get it to stop crying. She was complaining that the mother left her with the child and it is only a doll.

I am thinking that I need to get away from work more often. This morning the day nurse who used to work nights told me that I am a woman trapped in a man's body. Now I really am getting worried. Came in to work last night and one aide gave me some spicy fries and another aide later gave me some Sloppy Joe's. She had made a big batch and they sure were good.

7329 views on this WOW That's kind of depressing in itself seeing how this ssite is for meeting people. Alot of us out there I guess.

MI people need love too. What's depressing about the numbers, is that very very few have had the strength of character to post whether they are MI or not. This would be a good thread for other people of like mind can come and people will understand. Might even meet "the one" because of similarities.........you get what I mean?

Just came back from the meeting with my 24 year medallion for being clean and sober for 24 years. Yay.

Congradulations Hillfolk. That really great. Longevity is a beautiful thing, but we get there one day at a time.