Stars - Cute is right. Erik has to get some help for himself. You can only do so much and if he starts to rely on you to rescue him all the time, it can destroy your life because he will suck you into his drama and your whole life will become consumed with him and his issues. I have seen people become really manipulative that way and ruin marriages and other relationships, because they occupied the other person's time so much. He needs some professional help, you have done what you can, try to talk him into getting some help. You don't need all the stress in your life of worrying about whether he is going to hurt himself again either. That is a major load to carry around all the time. You are a good friend to him, and he knows it, so I hope he will get some help, it will make it easier on all of you involved.

Hi guys - I just found this forum about depression, and I think It's an incredible idea. I am a SI junkie who hasn't cut herself in about a year. The main reason I'm doing so well is that I have the emotional support I need to deal with my life. Thanks to people like those here, I AM ALIVE!! Love you guys!
Rai

Ria, glad to see you found us way down here . And that you have been harmfree for so long. Welcome to JSH

welcome back karen and welcome rai..

Thanks Cute. Don't know for how long. Seems the older I get the less I can handle change. I leave for a couple of days and now we are merged with a ton of new people.......no biggie. Welcome to them, just shiver me timbers.....that's a lot of people.........

KAren I'm glad too see you are back on here and Hello Rai.. I am happy that you have found another way to deal wiht thngs then to cut. My daughters friend started to do that but lately she hasn't even thought about it!

{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} to you all and everyone remember hour by hour and day by day

Bj

Glad to see you back Karen, hope things are going well for you.

Rai, I am really glad you are not cutting yourself. I have known people who have done that in the past and have had a really hard time stopping. Please stop by here whenever you need to talk, there is usually someone around to talk to. Welcome.

Cute and Country, good to see you, glad you are doing well.

Take care and hope everyone is having a good weekend.

hi,

i'm really glad you guys set up this area to discuss depression. as much as i hate to admit it, i have struggled with it for many years now - but it's just not something you can talk about with anyone. most people just cannot understand/comprehend what it's like to struggle with depression.

i tend to just pretend that all is well, just because i know that no one wants to hear about my internal struggles.

Inspector - I'm glad you've found somewhere to express your pain. And don't worry, I'll listen and care as long as you return the favor.. I'm glad I've found others who can understand... Thank God for that!

HA HA I know what it is like to have friends and family not understand, my mom thinks I need to get more excersize, better sleep, quit smoking and eat right and all will be fine with the world UHG she will never understand the mental state my first divorce put me through....
If I get just a tad ugly my daughter is always asking "did you take your pill" grrrrrrrrrrr like I'm not suppose to have my ugly moments haahaa just be oh so happy everyday as long as I'm taking meds -- NOT!!

WEll I'm off to work but you all have a wonderful day and keep your pretty/handsome heads up!!

{{hugs}}
Bj

sp basically i started dating this guy then come to find out hes not sure what he wants but we havent broken up he says he dont deserve me but if im patient with him hell come around and be very appreciative told me.well ive been kinda crying off and on.my guyd friend said to be patient.but god i need a really good cry.

where do u go for SEVERE depression help when u have no insurance and can't pay for an emergency room visit?.....I guess i could move to Canada

that's a scary question.............thank god i had insurance when my sister threatened to have me committed!

since then, i've been on med's, but i worry sometimes that i'm just working and sleeping the remainder of my life away.............kind of like the pink floyd tune, "i have become comfortably numb"............

Golden Star, I was in the same boat as you, but theres a place called Comprehensive Care that adjusts the bills according to your income, or they will send you a monthly bill. I've been going there for awhile and its really awesome.

Sci Fi is a sure thing to be a junkie about, Rai. One of my favorites is the X Files. I have found that the truth is not only out there but in here, too. Just have to do some digging and careful documentation. A poem website I was frequenting was writing a lot of poetry on cutting. I was surprised ther were so many young people who do really cut themselves. There were so many cutter poets that they were actually banning the topic in their thread sections. The only movie that I seen that had something to say about the topic was the movie, "The Secretary". From my viewpoint of watching the movie the cutting was a way of making an external pain to counteract the internal pain that the cutter is dealing with. I see it as a form of self-mutilation and it could be addicting in that it could be a form of self-medicating. I am glad that you must have found some kind of therapy to deal with it. It could be a vicious cycle of pain and pleasure. I can't help but think that is must be guilt-orientated - like a compulsive obsession or a form of sadomasochism. I hope that you allow the pain to heal instead of keep opening it up.

i don't want to be comfortably numb anymore tho. i want to feel alive instead of just feeling hopeless and that i am just languishing in my whole life and completely overwhelmed by everything

Golden, I don't know how big an area you live in but if it is a smaller area, some of them have government funds and offer sliding fee scales and adjust your fee for services according to your income. Also community mental health centers also offer sliding fee scales. Hospitals also have on staff, at least ours does, social workers, who meet with people for free and help them find services and sometimes they can help you find medical coverage too. Sometimes they meet with people and do counseling free of charge too, so check with your hospital to see if this is an option. Drug companies have needy med programs that offer free or really cheap meds for people with limited funds if you qualify, and now Wal-Mart even offers some meds for $4 under a program they offer.

If you feel really bad, don't worry about the bill and go to the doctor or the ER, a doctor visit would be cheaper and they may be able to refer you to someone in your area or a program that could help you. You could work out a payment plan later, I would rather see you get help rather than to feel bad enough to hurt yourself (not saying that you would). We had a man the other day who commited suicide brought into our hospital. I don't know the specifics, but feel making a bill is better than hurting yourself any day. And there was a guy who jumped off a bridge in Seattle who committed suicide too, on the same day.

i agree golden.................if i were happy being "comfortably numb", i guess i wouldn't be in this forum.

it's just scary to stay on the meds, and possibly even scarier to get off the meds.............but either way............i don't want to live the rest of my life this way.............

I am very depressed and I am scarred of myself. I am at complete rock bottom. I dont know how to deal with this

What is going on Cutts. Sorry I didn't see this, was away from the computer for a few hours. There is usually someone on here to talk to. You can e-mail me if you want to talk privately.