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| Topic: some will not compete | |
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Edited by
Atlantis75
on
Thu 08/06/09 08:24 PM
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-Guys compete for women so many women assume that anyone who doesn't have a girlfriend, must have been loosing the competition, so they must be losers.
It's the wrong assumption. There are single guys who don't go into competition even if they would probably easily could have a girlfriend. There are many reasons, but I find the most common reason lately is because they had their priorities laid out and it got messed up by either financial troubles, loosing a home or a job or having a hard time paying the bills. While they wish to have a girlfriend or wife or even a family, their current situation makes them to be passive and even repulsive and even though they try, reality comes in and they back off. It's not because they are evil, but the opposite. They don't want to drag any woman into their current situation. Many will fantasize about having a date or a new girlfriend, that's why they are doing it online. Talking through the internet to someone keeps a safe distance not to become too attached. Just my opinion. |
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It's a competition?
Well, I guess I lose...I hate competitions. |
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-Guys compete for women so many women assume that anyone who doesn't have a girlfriend, must have been loosing the competition, so they must be losers. It's the wrong assumption. There are single guys who don't go into competition even if they would probably easily could have a girlfriend. There are many reasons, but I find the most common reason lately is because they had their priorities laid out and it got messed up by either financial troubles, loosing a home or a job or having a hard time paying the bills. While they wish to have a girlfriend or wife or even a family, their current situation makes them to be passive and even repulsive and even though they try, reality comes in and they back off. It's not because they are evil, but the opposite. They don't want to drag any woman into their current situation. Many will fantasize about having a date or a new girlfriend, that's why they are doing it online. Talking through the internet to someone keeps a safe distance not to become too attached. Just my opinion. 
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-Guys compete for women so many women assume that anyone who doesn't have a girlfriend, must have been loosing the competition, so they must be losers. It's the wrong assumption. There are single guys who don't go into competition even if they would probably easily could have a girlfriend. There are many reasons, but I find the most common reason lately is because they had their priorities laid out and it got messed up by either financial troubles, loosing a home or a job or having a hard time paying the bills. While they wish to have a girlfriend or wife or even a family, their current situation makes them to be passive and even repulsive and even though they try, reality comes in and they back off. It's not because they are evil, but the opposite. They don't want to drag any woman into their current situation. Many will fantasize about having a date or a new girlfriend, that's why they are doing it online. Talking through the internet to someone keeps a safe distance not to become too attached. Just my opinion. And I'm one of those "no competition" types. Too many bad dating experiences mixed in with social and professional obligations keep me from even bothering to go out there and find me some wimmins. |
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I will raise my hand to this statment.
Things in my world come very close to the facts at hand. 
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Really..that is very interesting. What if a woman shows acceptance of a mans situation at that time. I.E. his house is falling down around his ears and he still keeps her at arms length? What does that mean..."he's just not that into you."
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Ok maybe I am a little different but when I date a guy I am not looking for his bank statement I am looking for my best friend and blah blah anyway we all need a little love in our lives a little ego stroking when were down and if your down dont you want the person you are with to stand by you or do you want them to run? So the real question is to your question what kind of women are men really looking for a woman who doesnt care about the bankstatement but the real value of the man. I mean I would want a man who stands tall in troubles because it shows me he is not a quiter and if something came from the dating then that showed me that he will not run when **** gets deep. Just my take on it
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Really..that is very interesting. What if a woman shows acceptance of a mans situation at that time. I.E. his house is falling down around his ears and he still keeps her at arms length? What does that mean..."he's just not that into you." If a man wants to be with a woman he will he will find a way to make it happen..or yep, "he's just not that into you". |
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Really..that is very interesting. What if a woman shows acceptance of a mans situation at that time. I.E. his house is falling down around his ears and he still keeps her at arms length? What does that mean..."he's just not that into you." My thoughts are that keeping her at arms length might mean that afraid of committing. Or not ready to committee. Or maybe self confidence is so low that feeling that he is not a good catch, Don't want to drag some one in to the mess... 
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Really..that is very interesting. What if a woman shows acceptance of a mans situation at that time. I.E. his house is falling down around his ears and he still keeps her at arms length? What does that mean..."he's just not that into you." If a man wants to be with a woman he will he will find a way to make it happen..or yep, "he's just not that into you". Pretty much my take on it too. |
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My contract has a non-compete clause.
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What really blows is looking around at all the attractive, available, smart and funny women here and genuinely being attracted to them.
But, for my situation, I am on hold waiting for the one who may or may not come back into my life for (probably) years to come. It's like looking at a parking lot full of Porches, ferrarri's, and caddilacs with the keys in em just ready to roll......Why the hell guys ain't falling all over themselves to scoop one up just completely escapes me. |
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How assuptive.
Speak for yourself. How can you know what is in their hearts and minds of others? How do you know these guys you speak of don't want a girlfriend because they are commitment phobic womanizing philanderers?? You don't, not any more than you can assume it's due to finances. Maybe they don't want a girlfriend. Who knows!!! |
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How assuptive. Speak for yourself. How can you know what is in their hearts and minds of others? How do you know these guys you speak of don't want a girlfriend because they are commitment phobic womanizing philanderers?? You don't, not any more than you can assume it's due to finances. Maybe they don't want a girlfriend. Who knows!!! Assuptive??????? now there's a word I've never heard before. |
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Edited by
earthytaurus76
on
Fri 08/07/09 07:11 AM
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I dont care weather hes wanted or not, thats not my interest.
My interest is the man.. Whyyyy would it be my interest to know how popular he is with other women in the first place? If im interested in him, and hes single.. yay! HES SINGLE GREAT!!! Its not about what other women think about him.. what is this 90210? WHO THINKS LIKE THAT ANYWAY???? JESUS!! BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YA GOT! HES ALL YOURS!!! and ANOTHER THING, who are these stupid women? are you dating teenagers? |
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Really..that is very interesting. What if a woman shows acceptance of a mans situation at that time. I.E. his house is falling down around his ears and he still keeps her at arms length? What does that mean..."he's just not that into you." My thoughts are that keeping her at arms length might mean that afraid of committing. Or not ready to committee. Or maybe self confidence is so low that feeling that he is not a good catch, Don't want to drag some one in to the mess...
That is an interesting view point also. Not too sure low self confidence was the issue because the acceptance was there on my part. Everything happens for a reason. |
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Atlantis, on the other side of this...
I am with someone who is in financial difficulty, and owns a major business.. We had a hard time last week because he was afraid to call and cancel because he didnt have the money for the trip to come see me. He didnt call me for 3 days til i finally after much prodding got him to email me back.. i told him i understood, and that im suffering as well, and he says its tougher on him cos hes the guy, and he wants to do so much for me. I just told him that i understand, and that he can tell me anything, and i dont care about his money, i love him for him. It IS tough for guys now a days, and we all just have to chill on eachother, but it doesnt mean we should be lonely. If all she cares about is money, then she did you a quick favor. But i totally see what you mean about backing off.. ive seen it first hand. |
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Edited by
AGoodGuy1026
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Fri 08/07/09 07:36 AM
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Interesting, I don't agree. I have never thought about it as competition with anyone... nor have I encountered it in real life. Being 'single' in my age bracket (i'm 41) I find many single, available women out there wanting to date men like me, I simply have yet to find one that I want to be in a relationship with and/or are compatible with... not to say I am perfect or too good for them, compatibility is complex. The women that I do date do not seem to have me in any competition with anyone - and if I found they were, I would not date them...
is this theory, or has this 'competition' been relized by you while you were dating someone? |
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Interesting, I don't agree. I have never thought about it as competition with anyone... nor have I encountered it in real life. Being 'single' in my age bracket (i'm 41) I find many single, available women out there wanting to date men like me, I simply have yet to find one that I want to be in a relationship with and/or are compatible with... not to say I am perfect or too good for them, compatibility is complex. The women that I do date do not seem to have me in any competition with anyone - and if I found they were, I would not date them... is this theory, or has this 'competition' been relized by you while you were dating someone? Perhaps it is a 'nice guy' thread in disguise?? 
I re-read this, and i found that he has a very good point.. the economy affects this whole deal. Scares men. AND some women are demanding. |
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If men aren't interesting in dating, they shouldn't be meeting anyone.
Period. Get your shyt together, THEN date. The thought of going online to talk to women, to bolster their own self esteem and string someone along they have no real plan of having any sort of meaningful real interaction with? Liars. This is why women say men suck. Are there some materialistic women? Sure. But that goes for both genders. |
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