A lot of women have told me that they like my profile,except for the fact that I state I like going to gentlemens clubs. Most women in their profiles state they want an honest man. Doesn't the fact that I state I like gentlemens clubs make me honest. Would it be better to delete this aspect of my profile and lie about who I am? My way of thinking,To thy own self,be true. Ladies,you can't have it both ways. If you want me to be honest,you are going to get the whole picture,not a sanitized version for a dating site profile. be seeing you

Let's rephrase what's really being said here: "I want an honest man, so long as he says the things I want to hear."

It's not really about honesty, it's about fitting into someone else's preconceived notions of what's desirable, as arbitrary and archaic as those notions may be.

Exactly,Lex. Most people cannot handle brutal honesty. be seeing you

What's wrong with that...They want honesty...It's not your fault they don't like the truth

Or, to put it another way: they want honesty -- until they get it.

Prisoner, i see your point, but dont you think a line needs to be drawn somewhere? You havent gone into detail about your collection of pornography or the last time you wet the bed, for example.

Thank you. Very nice to hear a womans point of view. be seeing you

Maybe they are nicely saying, "I don't want to date a man that goes to those clubs."

Dan,telling me to draw a line. There's a first time for everything. be seeing you

So I should lie about who I am to get more dates? To thy own self,be true. be seeing you

No, you shouldn't lie. You wouldn't want to date someone that doesn't accept the things that you do. You're weeding them out with the profile.

honesty is the best policy. except when the meatloaf sucks.



the problem here as i see it is not that you like to go to
the <ahem> gentleman's club - everybody - well almost everybody -
should be able to have some fun in a stripclub.

but when you put it in your profile as part of a very condensed
description of who you are, then it sounds like you are say for
example...13.2% gentleman's club. which is too much. so unless
it is really a defining characteristic (which could definitely
be a problem) then i'd just leave that little tidbit to the
imagination. unfortunately by now your profile has been archived
by the mingle2 archivists and it is a permanent part of the
record. i'll release the prisoner though under his own recognizance
you know...at least he was quite honest!

I guess what I don't understand is why some women would have a problem with that aspect of my life. Gentlemens clubs are within the law and most are couple-friendly. I hate sports,but I have dated many women sports fans. I think some 'uptight' women feel there is a stigma attached to gentlemens clubs. There is not. be seeing you

be seeing you but not at the gentlemen's club

very few want to think that their spouse or lover will frequent
clubs where members of the opposite sex strip and try to suck
up to them for tips

they would prefer that their spouse or lover spend more time
with them - hanging out, skinny dipping, and playing wii

and if the right woman came along you would most likely get
bored with the clubs real fast. so why put it up there in a
dating forum when it is likely that it is at most a fun diversion
you have enjoyed on occasion and will have no bearing on a future
relationship...

unless you own, work at, or run a club. then she'll need to know.
and get a cut.



they would probably expect that whatever club going was going on
is anticipated to be an aspect of your former life....

and with the right woman it would be....that is my guess.

It is the idea that "you have to like the same things I like, otherwise you are are a horrible and worthless person."

I've noticed a lot of profiles where the person says "Looking for someone who shares the same interests I have," but they never bother to tell you what those interests are.

I figure this is a safety precaution -- if they don't like your pic, and you send them an e-mail mentioning your interests, they can then say, "Sorry, those interests are not the same as mine, so leave me alone!" And you still have no clue as to what their interests really are (assuming they, in fact, do have some). It's actually a fairly good strategy for someone who wants to avoid having to say anything useful about themselves.

It will be a sad day in America,when a man can't walk into a gentlemens club and get a stiff drink and a good lapdance. Or is it the other way around? be seeing you

not to worry....

I think it's cool you say that upfront!

Some women are a little uptight, either about their bodies or other issues, and even though they say honesty is what they want -- the truth is not always what they want to hear.

If that is what you like to do -- don't pull it from your profile. You will weed-out the ladies that will give you grief for going.

Some guys hide their strip club recreation because they will get grief but then they are busted for lying and hiding. Is it worth it? Hell no! Be who you are and date someone that you can tell to their face -- "I'm going to Crazy Horse with the boys. You want to come too?"

Or, apply this to anything in your life. The point is always be honest and who cares about the ones you turn away? They aren't right for you anyway.

Personally, I love them! Girls get better lap dances!

That sounds about right.