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| Topic: Jobs for my girlfriend | |
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At the end of September my girlfriend will be moving in with me. I need to write up a comprehensive list of what her jobs and responsibilities are. I will start with a few of the obvious ones, and i would like the rest of you to add to the list. 1)Laundry 2)Cooking 3)Mowing the lawn 4)Carrying the heavy shopping bags 5)Cleaning the toilet 6)Ironing my underpants Oh my my... you want a servant and or a maid not a gfriend. Does she get paid for all these from you? LOL She gets paid in inches, and she is grateful. |
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Answering the door, at all times. U require the exercise to build muscle more than me, so that will be YOUR job! I dont need muscle for anything, you will be doing everything for me! |
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Warming the toilet seat before you go
Making sure you have enough quilted toilet paper. Lifting the toilet seat. Warming the bed for you before you get in, failing that, allowing you to warm your feet on her back. |
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Warming the toilet seat before you go Making sure you have enough quilted toilet paper. Lifting the toilet seat. Warming the bed for you before you get in, failing that, allowing you to warm your feet on her back. All them have made the list! Scratching my itches removal of belly button fluff Bite my toe nails down to size |
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Cut your meat into bite sized pieces.
Make sure your bath water and tea or coffee is at the correct temperature. Answer the house phone even though you are sitting close to it. Start the car on cold winter mornings and sit in it until it is warm enough for you. Go down stairs in the middle of the night if you hear strange noises in the house. Place the remote control quite near to your hand ( so you don't exert yourself whilst reaching for it on the coffee table in front of you) Then make herself scarce while you watch that dreadful Harry Hill man |
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Don't forget the occasional um.....morning wake-up call... when you are too lazy to do it yourself.
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Don't forget the occasional um.....morning wake-up call... when you are too lazy to do it yourself. I hope by occasional you mean 'At least once everyday' |
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Making and constantly updating a spread sheet of all the local football team scores, player statistics, and odds for the next game. Also doing the same for motor racing and the horses.
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Making and constantly updating a spread sheet of all the local football team scores, player statistics, and odds for the next game. Also doing the same for motor racing and the horses. Even though that information wouldnt be very useful, it will keep her busy, its on the list. |
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Cut your meat into bite sized pieces. Make sure your bath water and tea or coffee is at the correct temperature. Answer the house phone even though you are sitting close to it. Start the car on cold winter mornings and sit in it until it is warm enough for you. Go down stairs in the middle of the night if you hear strange noises in the house. Place the remote control quite near to your hand ( so you don't exert yourself whilst reaching for it on the coffee table in front of you) Then make herself scarce while you watch that dreadful Harry Hill man You seem to know exactly how a woman should act!! |
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Cut your meat into bite sized pieces. Make sure your bath water and tea or coffee is at the correct temperature. Answer the house phone even though you are sitting close to it. Start the car on cold winter mornings and sit in it until it is warm enough for you. Go down stairs in the middle of the night if you hear strange noises in the house. Place the remote control quite near to your hand ( so you don't exert yourself whilst reaching for it on the coffee table in front of you) Then make herself scarce while you watch that dreadful Harry Hill man You seem to know exactly how a woman should act!! I'm happy to tell you that I did not burn my bra for women's rights willingly, they threatened to tell that I stuff toilet paper down my bra if I did not go along with their idea. |
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Cut your meat into bite sized pieces. Depends on what meat your talking about, you may wanna take that one off or specify in detail.. |
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Cut your meat into bite sized pieces. Depends on what meat your talking about, you may wanna take that one off or specify in detail.. Lamb, beef, pork................ 
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You do realize that that once you pick your azz up off that floor this list you have acquired and put together is going to be and awful long one for you to fulfill just in order to kiss her feet each morning now don't you?
But I'm sure she will in fact be grateful for all the work you have done just to please her in the end. And if you are really lucky ya might just be able to be granted to please yourself once in a while.  
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You do realize that that once you pick your azz up off that floor this list you have acquired and put together is going to be and awful long one for you to fulfill just in order to kiss her feet each morning now don't you? But I'm sure she will in fact be grateful for all the work you have done just to please her in the end. And if you are really lucky ya might just be able to be granted to please yourself once in a while. 
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Pulling the dingleberrys off my dogs butt.
Shaving and flea and tick my dogs picking up dead frogs off the walk way and putting them on my shelf. O and turtles! thank you. Picking off all those bugs off my freshly growing garden "Squash beetles. Thank you... Today not tomorrow.... Could you also paint the out side of my house, fix the leak in the roof, and on top of that wash my car, fix the broken drive way and replace the cement for me! And if she could run over to my house and do it for a friend that would be great.. Keep this women................ O shitttt.. This women Must be me! Dang, I really never needed anyone after all...... |
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Warming the toilet seat before you go Making sure you have enough quilted toilet paper. Lifting the toilet seat. Warming the bed for you before you get in, failing that, allowing you to warm your feet on her back. All them have made the list! Scratching my itches removal of belly button fluff Bite my toe nails down to size :YOU WIN!.... THIS ONE IS THE BEST............ |
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You do realize that that once you pick your azz up off that floor this list you have acquired and put together is going to be and awful long one for you to fulfill just in order to kiss her feet each morning now don't you? But I'm sure she will in fact be grateful for all the work you have done just to please her in the end. And if you are really lucky ya might just be able to be granted to please yourself once in a while. She IS gong to do all the things mentioned in this thread! So enough with your girl power nonsense! (do i need to show my face in the online tough guy thread again?!) |
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Iron your socks.
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holding it for you while you pee....
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