yea, it is very sad. I have know them both a very long time. She really is a sweetheart and loves him. I can see in her face how hard it is getting for her.
She works alot to provide, has to help him with everything. She has aged 10 years in the last 2 . I would like to think I could do what she does, honestly I just don't know if I could.

If I were the man, I would tell her to go. I wouldn't want that type of relationship. Like you said, it is killing him inside. It is a sad situation though.

I'm just wondering, was there insurance from the accident?

If there was, do they have outside help? Respite?

It is a really huge task they have taken on....I feel for him.... trapped in a body that won't work...and for her, being a carer 24/7 is huge...

I have a friend who's husband became completely paralyzed and in a wheel chair. She was crazy in love with him and they had been married for 12 years. All she wanted to do was take care of him and said she wasn't missing sex. However, about 10 months into all this she did start going out and having affairs. She says she will always stay with him and take care of him, that she would never hurt him by leaving, but she will continue to go out and take care of her sexual needs. She feels this is better than dumping him. I am sure he knows this is going on and I think it is killing him inside, although I have never talked to him about it.
Would you want your partner to just go and get another life, or could you live with the fact that this person loves me enough to stay and help me, I am not able to sexually satisfy my partner so I can live with it.

I just want to cry for both of them....


And yet, they are inspiring also....

they really are love in motion... and the 'in sickness and in health'...


pass on my kudos....please.

i have a friend who was paralyzed from the chest down and he told me once that in order to keep his long time girlfriend he said she could have affairs just as long as he didn't know about it. he didn't want to be alone. its scary.

but ....

in the end it killed his heart. to know she was out there... with other men getting what he couldn't give her killed him inside.

he told me he wished she'd have just left him.

Seriously here, if my wife was paralyzed I would take care of her, and I would take care of myself (not with another woman). The thing about the wife in this situation that bothers me is she only lasted 10 months before seeking self satisfaction. Maybe I am wrong, but that seems like a pretty short time after years of love and marriage. jmo

If I was in love with the person, I would stay with them and do without the sex.

Has she thought about finding a support group with people with similar problems? That's a difficult situation for her.

She says she will always stay with him and take care of him, that she would never hurt him by leaving, but she will continue to go out and take care of her sexual needs. She feels this is better than dumping him. I am sure he knows this is going on and I think it is killing him inside, although I have never talked to him about it.


Would you want your partner to just go and get another life, or could you live with the fact that this person loves me enough to stay and help me, I am not able to sexually satisfy my partner so I can live with it.

If I were the man, I would tell her to go. I wouldn't want that type of relationship. Like you said, it is killing him inside. It is a sad situation though

maybe he gave her his blessing?

personally, if my partner was having sex with anybody else during our relationship, for whatever reason, and i found out, we would be over as a team.

if he were not capable of loving, and honouring, me in the sickness part of it, the time when i most need his loyalty and devotion, then i don't want any part of his pity and if i were able, i'd help him pack his bags.



how cruel and inconsiderate i think this is, that she is not allowed and capable of making her own decision of whether or not she wants to stay with the man that she loves.

maybe she doesn't want to be saved by him, from him?

My Uncle who is a great man!

His wife at 21yrs old right after they got married had a child, then she developed MS only shortly after that diabeties. so for 47yrs my uncle took care of his wife.

Dose he not have the right to love physicaly a women who can not ever have sex, could you imagine laying on a person that can not move or make motion? it is a loss feeling of a soul, the person you love more then life can not love you back the way you need them to love you.

All the words and patts on the back is never going to be the same as two souls coming together to make one.

I will say this, after there 47yrs and him being with his girlfriend for 27yrs. When his wife passed away, at 67yr old he got married to his long long time girlfriend and they have been happy ever since.

They also still live in the same house as his wife that has passed away.. Yes my aunt.

I lived with a man who had Parkinson's and he could not perform, so the answer is yes, I would do with out for my love for him was faithfulness... Honer and Respect....

For better or worst in sickness and health, death do us apart.

End of my $3.00.... He did not want a women to live like this so he left to go home to were he was born to die! with out ME and MY family............ Selfishness... or a selfless deed?

They really were a great couple. He is a handful to take care of, he can't do much by himself. I know her intentions were to stay, love him, be faithful.
She is 44 and peaking in the sexual sense... I think it was a hard decision for her.
Would be for me... tough call.
She has had men who want to see her again, she won't have a continued affair.. she feels like that would actually be cheating. She loves him and does not want a relationship with anyone else other than the physical one.

My concern is that she may fall in love with one of her affairs but i can see where she may get lonely.
it would be very difficult to make that decision.


So far that has not happened..it has just been over 2 years is all.