Just split with my childhood sweet heart after25 years of marriage. She got a new job and cut me out of her life.

Dont know what to do with out her, Dont even know how to approach another woman.

I feel alone and useless

Where do I start

First, it's gonna take some time, maybe a lot, to heal. You just need to get back out into the world, take some time to grieve, be angry, whatever you feel, then when you're ready, you'll move on. But until then, it's not fair to women or yourself to start dating.

Many of us have been there, done that. You will survive and as long as you don't allow yourself to become bitter and jaded, you'll be better than ever.

Good luck and welcome

you need a LOT of time before even thinking about meeting another

After 25 years, you definitely need to pull yourself together before you step into another relationship. Doing that is called a rebound and that hardly ever work. I am living proof. The same thing happened to me but after 8 years of marriage. it was tough, and it still is sometimes, but I kept telling myself, If she don't love me, then I don't need her. It didn't help much at first, but as time went by, it did. just hang in there, i know it is tough, but you can do it and you will be proud of yourself when you do..

Good Luck

Not even sure if i even want to. Yes, im hurt, angry, sad, all of the above. Frustrated, but most of all loneley.

Im hurting and its made worse that she doesnt seem to care.

Why do we hurt the ones we love

Most people do it out of ignorance, but if she has anything left for you, then try to act like your ok with it when you talk. Be nice to her but don't go begging and pleading and crying to her. Be sweet and simple, even if you have to act like it.
If she has any feelings for you at all, she will began to get uncomfortable with how easy your taking it.

I am telling you, showing weakness is a turn off and it will only frustrate her and push her further away. Be strong if it is only in front of her. Don't get angry and yell at her, just let her know it is her loss. Maybe she will come around and maybe not, but either way, you have to move forward, dig deep and hang on my friend. You can do this

I was married for 25 years also. 5 days before our 25th aniversary, he came home and told me he had a girlfriend at work, and kicked me out of our apartment. It was also a couple weeks before Christmas. It is very very hard, the hardest thing I had ever gone through. The one thing that did help me, was I met a very good friend that stood by me with all I was going through and helped me when I needed help. It is still hard, some days very hard, but I have only been single for 3 years now, and mostly it has gotten easier.

first of all we dont hurt the ones we love . . . the ones we love hurt because they love . . . love hurts ... a lot.

second of all i dont necessarily agree with the time needed, i believe that everything happens for a reason and one never knows. she might have left you now because the woman that is just right for you is just around the corner and had you been with the one that just left you might not have connected.

my philosophy goes something like this. break ups hurt, but our perception can alter the type of pain. you see, there is no way this woman was meant to be with you forever or she would naturally not have been able to let you go. . . and if she is not meant for you then someone else is and the same goes for her. it is not personal, it is not about how you look or what you do.

there are amazing men in this world ... lots and lots, but i only belong to one of them. i dont want a great guy, i want MY GUY. so .. . . that being said, love changes roles, it does not have to go away.

she is not the one for you and if you think she was great than imagine how great the one that is meant for you is.

smiles.

Sorry to hear about your split.
but this is the right time for you to figure it out... If someone fall out of love on ya? Time to move on.

This is exactly right.

Yes, if you choose someone just to fill a void, then you are subjecting them to your hurt and pain and they wont see who you really are. You need to let yourself heal first, then open your heart completely to them. If you don't heal first, then you take a chance on not giving them the whole you.

First - you need to find yourself. Find out what it is that you love to do and figure out things that you want to do that you havent. You cannot start another relationship until you discover who you are as a single person once again. This is an opportunity to restart your life and began again. It is not the end, just a new (unexpected or wanted) beginning. You will have a range of emotions as you go through the process of rediscovering yourself. Once you have done that, talking to others and approaching other women will come in time. do not rush anything....time is your friend. Surround yourself with POSITIVE people who truly care for you. You will survive and tomorrow is always a new opportunity!

Love cant you see Im alone
Cant you give this fool a chance
A little love is all I ask - a little kindness
In the night
Please dont leave me behind
No - dont tell me love is blind
A little love is all I ask and that is all

Oh love Ive been searching so long
Ive been searching highnlow
A little love is all I ask - a little sadness
When youre gone
Maybe you need a friend
Only please dont lets pretend
A little love is all I ask and that is all

I wanna spread my wings - but I just cant fly
As a string of pearls and pretty girls go sailing by

Ocean deep - Im so afraid to show my feelings
I have sailed a million ceilings - in my -
Solitary room
Ocean deep - will I ever find a lover
Maybe she has found another
And as I cry myself to sleep
I know this love of mine Ill keep - ocean deep

Love cant you hear when I call
Cant you hear a word I say
A little love is all I ask
A little feeling when we touch
Why am I still alone?
Ive got a heart without a home
A little love is all I ask - and that is all

I wanna spread my wings - but I just cant fly
As a string of pearls and pretty girls go sailing by

Ocean deep - Im so afraid to show my feelings
I have sailed a million ceilings - in my -
Solitary room
Ocean deep - will I ever find a lover
Maybe she has found another
And as I cry myself to sleep
I know this love of mine Ill keep - ocean deep

Im so lonely lonely lonely...
Maybe..

Sure I understand
Of course, I'll be fine
You had to change your plans,
Oh well, I'l just change mine
But if it turns out bad
And if your nights get long
And if she makes you sad
No need, to be strong

And if you ever change your mind
And find you miss those feelings that you left behind
We can give it one more try
Some magic place in time
If you ever change your mind

I guess I'd better go
You know I hate goodbyes
Let's not drag this out babe
I'll see ya 'round sometime

Go, don't look back
Let the heartach pass

I agree With what this man is saying. Good advice....

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))



You take care of yourself, and do some nice things for yourself. feed your soul, and become whole on your own.

I so totally agree with you girl...

Man this sucks and I feel for you but you know what, I've not seen anyone on here mention this but you don't have to accept the pain that this is causing. It's something that you will someday come to realize is that everything is ok but you don't have to wait for that moment to come at all....if you chose you can have it right now. I know it's hard but you have to pull it together and power through it and when any feeling of pain begins to creep into your heart you have to fight like hell to push it out and you have to keep doing it constantly but very soon it will pay off and it will just become an anoyance. Remember, no one ever said you have to accept this kind of pain, it's not physical there for you can reject it.

And something else I've come to realize is that life isn't over at all for ya. There is always...ALWAYS someone else waiting for you out there.

exactly...nicely done

Ditto.

As much as you want to: don't email her or call her. It sucks, because you probably have a million things to say, but she's not going to hear them. You will be wasting your breath. You have to concentrate on getting on with your life. Learn who you are without her. If she misses you, she will call, but don't hold your breath. Try to look at it as a new beginning. You are not alone. Just about every guy (and probably girl) on this site has gone through something similar.