I think this is a false stereotype. Many men ( just like women ) that are married or are in relationships go to bars to hang out with friends, watch a sporting event, listen to music etc. But not to cheat on their spouse / significant other.



Date who you want. But not all people who drink or go to bars are immature, obnoxious, an alcohlic, or act like the people in this story.

I think I just found the title for my autobiography. be seeing you

Reason #427 why I don't drink, don't go to bars, and will not date a drinker....

it is the jealousy and insecurity of your so called friends that lead to their being rude and disrespectful to you

they obviously are not mature enough to be over concerned about them not being in your circle of friends maybe not even in your circle of so called friends

be thee well and move on

I didn't say they were.

But they do drink, or frequent environments where drinking is encouraged. And that's all the information I need.

The simplest (and most common sense) solution:

Stay away from bars and booze.

Lots of guys do. Some guys don't.

All depends on who you choose.

And "too soon," per se, is rather arbitrary and nebulous.

Best answer so far and the same here.
2 things I have found from past experience.
1. booze usually is sl*t in a bottle or Azzhole in a bottle.
2. booze only magnifies a persons true personality!!!
If a nice person.. it makes them more open, if mean.. makes them want to fight, I horndogs..it just makes them lose and easy.

The latter 2 are people I do not care to know. drunk or not.

To the OP...
Maybe you just hadn't drank enough yet since you might have lost a female friend over it, or get bad attitude from them...Maybe you should of at least had sex with the guy.
Then at least you get the womens attitude for a reason

Very much so.

Apparently you're not done with it if you're posting about it here. But, if it was just the men hitting on you and you doing nothing in return, there's not much else to be done. The girls may get over it in a couple days.

While I tend to agree that the likelyhood that only frusterateing experiences are going to occur when you insert alcohol into the social equation that was not the whole problem.

This scenario skipped over a few social mores.

First is a friend would pick up on the fact that when and "Ex" walks up and starts "hitting on" a another woman, especially a friend of and ex-girlfriend, that it is a purposeful insult or at least the most obnoxious level of arrogance.

Second breaking up by it's very nature is a failure that no one likes publiclly rubbed in their face. Even if it is to acknowledge a previous lapse in judgement later recognized, and corrected.

Third your friends felt like you betrayed them playing along with this social insult by even acknowledgeing this jerk existed.

The assumption is that if you do acknowledge their cast offs; or more insensitively ignored they were cast off, then you believe that this guy is fair game.

Fourth if you respond to this play it at least suggests that you see yourself as somehow more desireable. That you think you can reel him in when they couldn't. Not exactly a comfortable feeling.

Especially when the fifth finger of the punch, intended or not, is it happens in a very public setting with the push of alcohol to add to the humiliation.

I do believe that premature sexual relationships tend to amplify the humiliation of break ups; and I am not saying this is even a factor here; but if this Ex relationship was long enough that as a new friend you were aware of it the possibility is strong.

In a world where having a respectable boyfriend is so competative when you mix friendship with "hunting", come on being in a bar with both sexes is more the latter than the former, is a recipe for someone being low (wo)man on the totem pole.

My advice is if you still want these women to be your friend is to send a note acknowlegeing the faux pa; making no excuses. It is likely they will torture you for a while; but if you are truely able to see their side, and learn, you may have long term friends when you really need them. And believe me in real life you will.

Guess the 'friends' wern't really over their ex'es...

Perspective is a strange thing.

If you were 'done' with someone would you even care where they went next?

Hopefully if you are mature enough you don't care but feelings do not go away so quickly always.

I would hope my friends would be a little more compassionate before they go full steam ahead at my left overs. Not that this is what the OP's intentions were.

Is it fair to the ditched Ex to be a social outcast? No but that is the cost of doing business with a popular woman.

A normal cooling off period would only seem in good taste for all involved.

I personally would not date and Ex of a friend period. I don't even bring boyfreinds around my friends, or coworkers, or family so I am probably much more private than most.