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| Topic: i'm sorry to bother you guys... | |
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I know you might not want my advice. Ok I KNOW you dont. Beyond the "hes gonna leave you" warning signs another question is: Why doesnt he want to share his problems with you? For me.. The only reason I would say that is if I didnt think I could sustain the relationship. Like if I was worried about money or if I didnt think I could get along with your family. Im the worrying type. I think like that, maybe your SO doesnt. Botton line; ask him! press him for a least a hint or something. I can understand a person getting mad or upset and not wanting to talk about something at that moment. But if he cant open up, then well... not good. why would you think i wouldn't want your input?   i'm the one who "doesn't want to share my problems with" him. he's been acting uncharacteristically distant and i'm wondering if that's typical behaviour of a guy who is just giving me space or if i did permanent damage. |
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I asked for two week break once and it went downhill after that. It hurt his feelings.  It's over now. |
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There is a chance that something is going on with him your not aware of...
possibly, but it doesn't sound good. Try to stay busy, don't worry yourself to death over it.. I know that hard though. 
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ok jas........lemme get this straight.
You want a break from your guy. He complies. And your upset he doesnt call you???? What is it that you want? 
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okie...
thank you all. i don't wanna take up any more of your time. |
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When someone actually loves you, they don't want to spend a second away from you! to brush you off with that old line that he needs space or time to 'sort things out' is his way of explaining that he's either interested and has feelings for another woman or that he's not sure and has doubts about committing fully to you in this one sided relationship? is he seeing someone else? an x maybe? someone at work he's developed feelings for or is he just too immature and can't make up his man sized brain...? :)
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Edited by
JasmineInglewood
on
Wed 07/29/09 12:29 AM
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ok jas........lemme get this straight. You want a break from your guy. He complies. And your upset he doesnt call you???? What is it that you want? lol. that's how it sounds doesn't it... i explained to him that i didn't want to break up. but according to you guys it can very much be construed that way. i now see my mistake i guess... i don't wanna get too personal... but there were temporary circumstances which made me think that was the best idea at the time. |
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I'm sorry I don't have words of wisdom here. It could be so many things and unfortunately until he is ready to talk about it, your mind can and will play cruel tricks on you with all of the scenarios it could be.
Support and good wishes coming your way. 
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I think that alarm bells should be going off in your head whenever a partner asks to be given time out in a relationship!? that leaves him, in his mind at least, totally free to see anyone else he chooses and also to sleep with them - then, once he's gotten that out of his system - he casually comes running back to you to take up where he left off? personally, i'd be worried if a partner of mine wanted some time to think...!? i'd get slightly neurotic.... :(
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I think that alarm bells should be going off in your head whenever a partner asks to be given time out in a relationship!? that leaves him, in his mind at least, totally free to see anyone else he chooses and also to sleep with them - then, once he's gotten that out of his system - he casually comes running back to you to take up where he left off? personally, i'd be worried if a partner of mine wanted some time to think...!? i'd get slightly neurotic.... :( even if what she has to think about has nothing to do with you? |
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I think that alarm bells should be going off in your head whenever a partner asks to be given time out in a relationship!? that leaves him, in his mind at least, totally free to see anyone else he chooses and also to sleep with them - then, once he's gotten that out of his system - he casually comes running back to you to take up where he left off? personally, i'd be worried if a partner of mine wanted some time to think...!? i'd get slightly neurotic.... :( even if what she has to think about has nothing to do with you? Most guys, even if it's the truth, don't accept that reasoning, Jas. You can tell them that it has nothing to do with them, but when you say you need a break, they always think that, regardless of what you say, it's about them. Most guys are kinda ego centric that way. |
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Jas........if you need time alone, then take it. Dont worry about him because you need to focus on the problem at hand.
If he is going to freak out about it then he isnt worth the effort to keep him. Real men respect you.....and try to understand.
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I'm slightly confused here? :) who exactly is taking time out? you or your partner.... if you choose to grab some thinking time and he then decides not to call you, then he's simply telling you that he's had time to think to and perhaps both of you have had a lucky escape??? it's normal to have doubts in a relationship but when you ask someone to get lost for a while - sometimes they take your request too literally or they think you're looking to cheat on them! :( but then is it still cheating if you're not together??? questions... questions...
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Edited by
John1932
on
Wed 07/29/09 12:49 AM
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so you guys, while thinking the end is near, would do what exactly...? Drop to my knees and beg you for the love of God, please don't do this to me  that's if I really loved you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't call, I would say,"I aint waiting around playing this game, if she wants me she will call me, if she loved me she would call me," You call him or let him go. He just did what you asked him to do, he may not even be thinking anything, he may be just waiting for your call to say hey, its over, or hey, I wanna work on this.. |
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if a guy wants some time alone, he wants some time alone and there isn't anything more to that.....well, this guy anyway. I can't stand it when people get clingy.
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so you guys, while thinking the end is near, would do what exactly...? Drop to my knees and beg you for the love of God, please don't do this to me that's is I really loved you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't call, I would say,"I aint waiting around playing this game, if she wants me she will call me, if she loved me she would call me," You call him or let him go. k... i guess i will take that advice and have a chat with him tomorrow... or at least try to. |
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Us guys are more fragile than we'd like to admit.... :) i know that i am. :( of course, whenever someone says that it's not me that's the problem when they want to take a break - that will obviously stir up feelings of rejection! instead of disappearing, wouldn't the grown up thing be to talk about any issue's, problems and concerns, instead of going into your shell and vegetating? it screams of that person having either emotional issues or simply having emotional ties to someone else....
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so you guys, while thinking the end is near, would do what exactly...? Drop to my knees and beg you for the love of God, please don't do this to me that's is I really loved you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't call, I would say,"I aint waiting around playing this game, if she wants me she will call me, if she loved me she would call me," You call him or let him go. k... i guess i will take that advice and have a chat with him tomorrow... or at least try to. He just did what you asked him to do, he may not even be thinking anything, he may be just waiting for your call to say hey, its over, or hey, I wanna work on this.. If you want to save it, go get your man, if you dont, then let it go. |
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See? everyone is different...! one gentleman here doesn't like 'clingy' partners.... whereas i on the other hand want them to be clingy. we all have different emotional needs. some men are more independent and don't have the desire or patience to be around their partner 24/7. some guys disappear down to the bar to discuss their concerns with their friends instead of their wives, and visa versa.
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