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| Topic: i'm sorry to bother you guys... | |
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Edited by
JasmineInglewood
on
Wed 07/29/09 12:54 AM
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Us guys are more fragile than we'd like to admit.... :) i know that i am. :( of course, whenever someone says that it's not me that's the problem when they want to take a break - that will obviously stir up feelings of rejection! instead of disappearing, wouldn't the grown up thing be to talk about any issue's, problems and concerns, instead of going into your shell and vegetating? it screams of that person having either emotional issues or simply having emotional ties to someone else.... thanks male2009, you and everyone else have been very helpful. 
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You can wait for the world to end or you can get up and do something, anything to try to salvage the situation. sometimes it can't and shouldn't be salvaged.... but this is just another one of life's lessons!? the sun still shines tomorrow and it's just another day in your turbulant life of getting a partner - losing a partner! :) you'll survive and so will they...
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If you don't confide in your partner any problems, concerns and change of circumstances.... :) how do you expect him to trust you? if you had talked to him, whether the problems concerned him or not, then perhaps he would see your behaviour as reasonable in the circumstances and give you the time and space in order to sort it out!? actions speak louder than words... next time - if there is a next time - talk to him!!! at least he'll know why you're doing what you're doing... and not have doubts? :)
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If you don't confide in your partner any problems, concerns and change of circumstances.... :) how do you expect him to trust you? if you had talked to him, whether the problems concerned him or not, then perhaps he would see your behaviour as reasonable in the circumstances and give you the time and space in order to sort it out!? actions speak louder than words... next time - if there is a next time - talk to him!!! at least he'll know why you're doing what you're doing... and not have doubts? :) this is why i love mingle2  you guys are awesome (most of the time  )
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i'm going to bed.
thanks again.
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Every one needs time give it to them just be there when they have taken it I am a man
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i'm going to bed. thanks again. night
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i'm going to bed. thanks again. night OK, you keep changing on me, first you changed shirts, now you took off your pants.. 
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That type of comment is usually a sign. I've always been of the thought that if something is amiss in a relationship, it certainly can't be fixed by time apart. Either address it and fix it, or end it.
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Reminds me of a saying from the 70's.
Catch a butterfly, set it free. If it comes back to you, it is yours. If it doesn't, it never was. Find another butterfly & start over, when ready. |
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Edited by
John1932
on
Wed 07/29/09 04:09 AM
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I have heard that.. makes sense too.
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i'm going to bed. thanks again. night OK, you keep changing on me, first you changed shirts, now you took off your pants.. Can't blame a girl for changing her mind; keeps things interesting, LOL 
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...but i have a question: when you love a person... and that person says he/she needs time from the relationship because they are going through some things they want to sort out alone... It depends what sort of a problem needs to be sorted out alone. do you get offended by that? No, but if the problem that needs to be sorted out is something I don't know what and she won't tell, it'd make me feel like she doesn't trust me. do you cease to call or care about them during the time that they are not your bf/gf? "during the time they are not bf/gf" Being a bf/gf isn't like a switch on the wall. How is this sound to you "Hey, right now I am not your boyrfriend, but I'll be again in a few weeks".  |
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That's how I got rid of an ex, he wanted "time on his own" .............. Funny, he started sleeping with one of my so-called friends the same night he left my house.The happy couple enjoyed a six weeks honeymoon period,now over five years later he has taken to bugging me on my Facebook account in the past to weeks, reason? "Let's catch up on old times" Sorry, I believe in recycling, but not in recycling my men!
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...but i have a question: when you love a person... and that person says he/she needs time from the relationship because they are going through some things they want to sort out alone... do you get offended by that? do you cease to call or care about them during the time that they are not your bf/gf? what do you do? (i'd especially like to hear it from a male point of view but anyone is welcome to offer input here) But , some have had to LET GO, there pasts before they can FEEL the new feelings from another... SO,,it depends,lol,lol,lol Go with your gut, and your heart,,BOTH,,,are seldom wrong when used together...wink |
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...but i have a question: when you love a person... and that person says he/she needs time from the relationship because they are going through some things they want to sort out alone... do you get offended by that? do you cease to call or care about them during the time that they are not your bf/gf? what do you do? (i'd especially like to hear it from a male point of view but anyone is welcome to offer input here) I just went through this same thing. Guess what he had another woman he wanted to go out with. I appreciate him asking for the "break" first, but I wish I would have known the real reason. If he doesn't want to share his "issues" with you, then it probably is the beginning of the end. Sorry to have to say that. |
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do you get offended by that? I think it would depend on the type of relationship. If it was a serious one then I would at least be hurt that they felt they couldn't come to me and wonder why the relation was ending. Not a serious relationship, wonder what's going on... and probably not worry about it too much. do you cease to call or care about them during the time that they are not your bf/gf? If they were really going through something, I would try to keep in touch but keep a distance. If I thought it was just an excuse, I would not call. As for caring, it would have depended on the relationship. |
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Sorry, I believe in recycling, but not in recycling my men! 
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Jas?? Why on Earth would you think you were " bothering " us with a question you need an answer to??? because i've seen posts where people complain about people posting their personal issues for attention... i've been wary of doing that ever since All depends of the reasons, it usually does not bear good news when someone needs time to contemplate on a relation. If it's because of your interaction with each other that the break is needed then yes it looks like something is wrong, if it's because of other personal issues (family, job) let them have their break but be there for them. As for the bothering people with your question, here if your in the loop no matter the question you won't bother, if your not then you'll be grill. |
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See? everyone is different...! one gentleman here doesn't like 'clingy' partners.... whereas i on the other hand want them to be clingy. we all have different emotional needs. some men are more independent and don't have the desire or patience to be around their partner 24/7. some guys disappear down to the bar to discuss their concerns with their friends instead of their wives, and visa versa. |
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