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| Topic: No Youngophobe Here, Anyway | |
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There is an instinct people have to protect a younger, or smaller one, be it maternal, or parental. Thats where I am coming from.
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Pssssst Lex, have you sent the email yet you girly man. *making impromptu goat noises* Yes, but she lives too close!! |
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has any older woman responded and ask "why a young man such as yourself be interested in an older woman like me?".....just sayin
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Edited by
earthytaurus76
on
Mon 07/27/09 05:13 PM
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Can people of different ages treat each other as equals? Or is this somehow impossible? I'd like to know, because I've got a lot riding on the "equals" scenario. The majority of the time, the two are not equals.. many think: "Why pretend"? Whats in it for the older one? |
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There is an instinct people have to protect a younger, or smaller one, be it maternal, or parental. Thats where I am coming from. But does that instinct include a desire to protect the younger or smaller one FROM the person ostensibly doing the protecting? It's a bit too recursive for me. The best relationship I ever had started out as just this sort of protection scenario -- I was protecting her from a lot of things, including herself (she had strong suicidal tendencies in the beginning) -- not once have I ever felt any need to protect her from me (despite an age difference) -- all I was ever concerned about was helping her get better, and then it developed into a relationship.... |
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Yeah, I really hate it when all those hot young chicks e-mail me, must be hundreds a day. I just block them.
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Can people of different ages treat each other as equals? Or is this somehow impossible? I'd like to know, because I've got a lot riding on the "equals" scenario. The majority of the time, the two are not equals.. many think: "Why pretend"? Whats in it for the older one? "Equals" was probably the wrong term -- I don't think any two people are ever truly "equals" -- it may work as a generic short cut reference, but does not hold up under scrutiny.... What's in it for the older one? How many possibilities are there? What's in it for the younger one? Again -- a vast array of potential answers.... |
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has any older woman responded and ask "why a young man such as yourself be interested in an older woman like me?".....just sayin No. They don't ask that. They know it after a while if the person really cares about the age or not. |
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Edited by
earthytaurus76
on
Mon 07/27/09 05:21 PM
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You know, it would be intelligent to warn others to protect themselves from anyone who would not benefit them or possibly hurt.
And to answer your question YES the person should be protected from you, in your own words, if it may be unhealthy for them. There are things someone older may understand from life experience that they would not at their age, which could create problems, frustration, arguments, and unhappiness. |
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You know, it would be intelligent to warn others to protect themselves from anyone who would not benefit them or possibly hurt. And to answer your question YES the person should be protected from you, in your own words, if it may be unhealthy for them. There are things someone older may understand from life experience that they would not at their age, which could create problems, frustration, arguments, and unhappiness. Well said. Why would someone want to hijack a younger persons learning curve? Wouldn't that be a form of 'causing harm'? |
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And to answer your question YES the person should be protected from you, in your own words, if it may be unhealthy for them. And then we get to the question of who is to determine what's unhealthy for them....not sure I would appreciate someone trying to do that for me (intentions aside, no one is in any position to do this for me....) There are things someone older may understand from life experience that they would not at their age, which could create problems, frustration, arguments, and unhappiness. Life experience is not always tightly bound to sheer chronology. Two 40-year-olds can have wildly divergent life experiences. Should they then be protected from each other? |
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Edited by
earthytaurus76
on
Mon 07/27/09 05:31 PM
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And to answer your question YES the person should be protected from you, in your own words, if it may be unhealthy for them. And then we get to the question of who is to determine what's unhealthy for them....not sure I would appreciate someone trying to do that for me (intentions aside, no one is in any position to do this for me....) There are things someone older may understand from life experience that they would not at their age, which could create problems, frustration, arguments, and unhappiness. Life experience is not always tightly bound to sheer chronology. Two 40-year-olds can have wildly divergent life experiences. Should they then be protected from each other? Quite possibly yes Lex, I dont associate with people my age that I feel may be of harm, and assuredly protect myself from them. People who have gained from their experiences in life know that usually someone younger is cluess as to what the understanding is of someone who has had time to experience more. No, not everyone has the same experience, and some people never learn what they should in a lifetime, but for the people who know the difficulty of youth, I agree with the other guy you quoted, and many things you must go through on your own, as opposed to someone telling you something is so. Often, the younger one hasnt even had TIME to get to that point. |
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has any older woman responded and ask "why a young man such as yourself be interested in an older woman like me?".....just sayin No. They don't ask that. They know it after a while if the person really cares about the age or not. |
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I'm still having some difficulty understanding the occasional bouts of age-o-bash-o I see here in the forums.... Lately, it seems that there are a lot of younger guys writing to older women, which, in and of itself, is not necessarily a bad thing. But many of the women seem to see this as either scary or inappropriate (or both), which puzzles me. Granted, there are undoubtedly some guys here (of all ages!) who would like nothing better than to latch onto a financially-successful woman, solely for the purposes of Sugar Mamaism, but we can't assume everyone is like that, can we? One of the arguments I've seen raised about a trillion times is "I couldn't possibly date anyone who is the same age as my kids," which I just don't get. Dating someone the same age as your kids is not the same as dating your kids, and if you can't tell the difference between your kids and people who are not your kids, but just happen to be their age, then a trip to the optometrist is in order. In all fairness, I have also seen this argument the other way around ("I couldn't date anyone as old as my mother/father"), but that doesn't make any more sense to me than the first one, though. Whatever, everybody is entitled to their own preferences. (Well, I'm not, if my e-mail is any indicator.) And if I had a kid, I certainly would never date anyone whose feet were the same size as my kid's. Of course, that's easy for me to say, since I will never have that problem, and I generally don't go around asking people about their foot size. And, for the record, I'm perfectly OK with younger people writing to me. Well, hypothetically; I think I would be OK with that, if it ever happened. Especially that one girl with the glasses who keeps showing up in People You Might Be Interested In. OK, I've said too much now.... "Sugar Mamaism" Thats funny. 
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There are things someone older may understand from life experience that they would not at their age, which could create problems, frustration, arguments, and unhappiness. I couldn't have said it better. My whole life has been like this. I'm actually suffering to get a same-age or younger women because of this. Many times I do things with my best intention and I get misunderstood, later they figure out that I was trying to be good, but it's too late then. It's not because I'm super smart, I just have a lot of experience since I was 15, because I lived for many years alone with my older brother with my parents gone and life has thought me a lot that others only experience later in their lives. |
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I agree
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Quite possibly yes Lex, I dont associate with people my age that I feel may be of harm, and assuredly protect myself from them. Which makes sense, as a self-defense strategy. However, it does necessitate that you make certain assessments about people, and there is some possibility that those assessments could be incorrect. We don't always know who may turn out to be "of harm" (or not) -- had it been otherwise, I would never have been in a relationship at this point in my life! People who have gained from their experiences in life know that usually someone younger is cluess as to what the understanding is of someone who has had time to experience more. You seem to be inferring that this scenario must necessarily carry an inherent manipulative quality within itself -- i.e., the term "clueless" would seen to indicate someone gullible, naive enough to be manipulated by the evil, skillful older person. I would propose an alternative -- that the older person may be of some constructive use to the younger, in any number of possible ways. No, not everyone has the same experience, and some people never learn what they should in a lifetime, but for the people who know the difficulty of youth, I agree with the other guy you quoted, and many things you must go through on your own, as opposed to someone telling you something is so. Often, the younger one hasnt even had TIME to get to that point. And may end up being 75 and still hasn't gotten there. But all of this "It MIGHT happen" stuff is superfluous. If we're going to base relationship restrictions on what MIGHT happen, then it's clearly unreasonable for any two people to ever get together -- even if they're the same age. |
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Edited by
hellkitten54
on
Mon 07/27/09 05:54 PM
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I used to date older, now I date younger. My latest is 22.
 I have no problems with anyone of any age contacting me, as long as they are not a freak. 
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I used to date older, now I date younger. My latest is 22. I have no problems with anyone of any age contacting me, as long as they are not a freak.  
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And may end up being 75 and still hasn't gotten there. But all of this "It MIGHT happen" stuff is superfluous. If we're going to base relationship restrictions on what MIGHT happen, then it's clearly unreasonable for any two people to ever get together -- even if they're the same age. You forgot the fact, that love is not based on being reasonable or having experience. The relationship later might turn out better or worse, but it doesn't depend of one person but both of them. It is the matter of question whether or not both are able to respect each other of who they are, regardless of experience or age. 
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