I'm still having some difficulty understanding the occasional bouts of age-o-bash-o I see here in the forums....

Lately, it seems that there are a lot of younger guys writing to older women, which, in and of itself, is not necessarily a bad thing. But many of the women seem to see this as either scary or inappropriate (or both), which puzzles me. Granted, there are undoubtedly some guys here (of all ages!) who would like nothing better than to latch onto a financially-successful woman, solely for the purposes of Sugar Mamaism, but we can't assume everyone is like that, can we?

One of the arguments I've seen raised about a trillion times is "I couldn't possibly date anyone who is the same age as my kids," which I just don't get. Dating someone the same age as your kids is not the same as dating your kids, and if you can't tell the difference between your kids and people who are not your kids, but just happen to be their age, then a trip to the optometrist is in order.

In all fairness, I have also seen this argument the other way around ("I couldn't date anyone as old as my mother/father"), but that doesn't make any more sense to me than the first one, though.

Whatever, everybody is entitled to their own preferences. (Well, I'm not, if my e-mail is any indicator.)

And if I had a kid, I certainly would never date anyone whose feet were the same size as my kid's. Of course, that's easy for me to say, since I will never have that problem, and I generally don't go around asking people about their foot size.

And, for the record, I'm perfectly OK with younger people writing to me. Well, hypothetically; I think I would be OK with that, if it ever happened. Especially that one girl with the glasses who keeps showing up in People You Might Be Interested In.

OK, I've said too much now....

I have no problem with anyone writing to me as long as it's not offensive. The only reason I don't go for young guys is because my son is 18 and anything close to that age would be strange to me. I see no problem with others doing it if that is their thing though. to each their own

I'm with you on that one Rose. To each their own as long as both are of age and ok with it.

I have loved dating younger men in the past, but I can certainly see how its creepy from a mothers point of view, if her son was involved with a much older lady.


Alot of times, yeah, they dont work out, and they are using oneanother for sex, or whatever.


I dont discourage it, but at the same time, it is often bad, and quite abnormal.

I like younger guys and older guys; I have dated both. If you have something in common and like each other, I find it acceptable...

i agree whole heartedly! i look at an age difference and as long as the the other person is aware of the difference and has no issue with it, it's all cool in my book. i think personality, interests, and just the overall 'click' factor is much more important. and yes, i've been known to date almost 20 years younger than myself. best se...second time around i've usually had! to each his own i say!

dating someone the same age as your child is awkward because you see your child as having a lower level of maturity than yourself, and you having to be the one to guide and mould them. that's great and all in a mother-son/daughter relationship but not for a romantic relationship. you can't help but connote similar levels of maturity to people who are essentially your child's peers.

that's as far as my defense of youthaphobia goes...

and thats tick number two, in the box of Fonteyne posts that ive managed to read.

honestly Lex, your unknowingly teaching me to read

and i agree with what you say, i would never date anyone who shared my childs shoe size.

My grandma was 18 years old when my dad was born, and my grandpa was 35. They got married a year before and it happened in the 30s.

My mom was 20, my dad was 24. They got married in the 60s.



I'm almost 34 and I'm still single, never married an no kids.

I was born waaaaaaaay back in the 60's.. Never heard of them?? lol.. I'm the last of the Baby Boomers, as the officially unofficial cut off is the 31st of Dec, 1964.

Back in 89-90, in Germany, when I was 25 or so, I dated an 18 y/o, a 33 y/o, and a 48 or 49 y/o. I just liked spreading the wealth around.

Nowadays, I can't see me courting anyone under 35,or over 50, but if one was interested in me, I'd have to give it a thought.

For centuries men have dated and married younger women, in some cases women much younger than themselves. This standard did not apply to women, it was thought inapproiate for women to date/marry younger men. WELL TIMES HAVE CHANGED HOWEVER,SOME PEOPLE WANT TO HOLD ON TO THESE OLD IDEA'S. It is 2009!!! It is ok for a women to date a man younger than herself.

Absolutely. Most of the women I've dated in the last few years have been quite a bit younger than me, though I really don't care one way or the other. Just happened to be who I clicked with. But I found when it get's past a certain age for me I start feeling weird about it. there's a long story behind that, that I won't get into, but we all have our limits none are necessarily wrong (unless of course the go lower than legal limits) just not always right for everyone.

If someone does date someone a lot younger than them then there are risks associated with that. I do get irritated when someone whines about things that they should have known were possible when they chose to date someone of a significantly different age.

this reminds me of the karate instructor at my kids' dojo.

this guy was gorgeous, and he was big, and he shaved, and he looked like a man. not the 15-year-old kid that he turned out to be!

i was laughing about it with a friend of mine saying that he was young enough to be my kid. her reply? but he's NOT your kid and THAT is what's important.

i date men who i find attractive. i've dated as young as 10 years my junior and about 15 my senior. however, i wouldn't date someone with whom i felt uncomfortable and being with someone that young would bother me.

that being said, it's still flattering when any man indicates an interest and finds me attractive so i wouldn't be put off by it.

Yes, it is always best to stay in your "comfort" zone. I actually think some women ( I want to clarify some women not all women)are the ones to continue the myth that to date someone younger is somehow not ok. These idea's are quickly changing as they should.

OMG did you watch How Stella Got Her Groove Back this morning on LMN too!?!?

I'm an age hipocrite.

i like to say age ain't nothin but a number but every time i get hit on by some dude who is around my mom's age, i cringe.

and every time i get a message from a 19 year old who wants to see my chachas... i cringe.

so who knows.

i think its a comfort thing... some guys no matter what their age i am attracted to because they came at me the right way and i'm comfortable.

Here's the part of the "same age as my kid" argument that I don't get:

Someone will say "I have a kid who's 20, so I would feel strange being with someone who was 20."

Never mind the fact that we're not saying anything about your kid, just someone who happens to be the SAME AGE as your kid.

OK, now let's say that the person never had the kid in question.

Now is it OK to get involved with the 20-year-old?

If they say "Yes, of course," then I have to raise the issue of how the two scenarios are materially different....?

Because the kid himself/herself (existing or not!) is NOT involved in the scenario either way! The only way this makes any sense is if the person cannot distinguish between their own kid and another person of the same age.

If they say, "No, I still would not date the 20-year-old," then it has nothing to do with the presence/absence of the person's kid at all; it's just a negative reaction to a particular age.

I'm sorry, but none of this makes sense to me!

People usually just tell me, "You can't understand it, you don't have kids." OK, maybe that's it....!

i think that, subconsciously at least, there must be an association of stages between your children and men who are of the same age.

sometimes i think back to when my kids were crawling, or in diapers, or starting kindergarten and wonder if women are not able to distance the fact that these men are (were) in the same place as their own children, thus placing them on a different level (whether right or not).

of course, we've all been there as well, but maybe it's easier to relate to someone who went through it at the same time as you, rather than associated with when you watched it occur.

sigh, it's taken me 2 or 3 edits on this and i'm still not sure it's come out right, but i have to rush off to a soccer game and wanted to get some thoughts out before i did.

Lex,

I have no input into the original thread because age is just a number, oops I did have input.

You had better email the girl with glassess in people you might be interested in right this minute. If you don't, I will call you all sorts of unmasculine names and dog you through the threads making goat noises.

C

I actually find the prospect of you doing that to be somewhat exciting....!

And -- well, you know my track record -- I have NEVER e-mailed anyone first here and received a response....

And I agree, age is just a number.