AMEN!

Snarky, i can so relate that you have no idea. Sometimes, I've even made the mistake of feeling like a lady and I were "together" to the extent that I was not free to talk to other ladies or even make friends. It was bondage...and not the good and kinky kind .

I certainly wish you the best in your search.

I've been tagged with the "I" word quite a lot since I've been here -- and it still baffles the hell out of me. Since when are basic language and writing skills "intimidating?" Since when is anything beyond caveman level communications skills "intimidating"? What are the standards here, and who decided that those should BE the standards? Because I'd like to throw a pangolin at that guy.



Makes sense, but apparently there are those of us who don't fit the "mold" well enough to be considered prospects for those particular positions.



I think you've hit on my biggest issue with this whole process -- there is generally no one even remotely close enough to "who I am" to be worth any sort of followup.

I have consistently run into two specific scenarios with people on dating sites -- either there is simply no one on the site who interests me (the "rampant cardboard cutout homogeneity syndrome"), or there is a faction that pretends to be what I'm looking for until they can get close enough to attempt full-scale goatification.

Hey, Lex.

Wanna know why some women might find you intimidating??

Because you use words like that one up there. LOL

For f**k's sake man. I have a pretty good vocabulary, but even I had to go look that one up. lol

Yeah, but it's the exact word for what I was trying to say!

You know something? I can't cook at all. Not a lick. Every time I've ever tried, it has resulted in fires, nuclear explosions, ninth-degree burns, whatever.

I've accepted this as a limitation. I'm OK with it.

But people who CAN cook don't intimidate me. I respect the fact that they have a talent I don't have. But why would I be intimidated by it? I just don't define myself that way.

Much nicer then "dead-heading"

Lex, I like ya, don't care to change you. And I have goats. Snickers... I'm currently thinking about eating the buggers as they won't stay in. Grrrr.

I was amazed when I learned you could cross a penguin with a mandolin!

intimidating is a 6-foot, 300+ lb guy toting a gun in a dark alley.

new words are an opportunity for growth. many times i've looked up words that lex, or someone else, has used, and take advantage of learning something new.

Hahaha! Awww, c'mon! They're nifty critters, though, aren't they?!

They really are. I mean, you don't see too many animals with that sort of protection anymore. Kind of reminds me of the glyptodonts....

I think you understand my point, though.

Some ( well..a LOT ) people will feel that someone who can actually use words like that in their proper context is " way too smart ' for someone who's just a normal schlub.

You actually have the disadvantage of being a writer. Being a writer expanded your vocabulary far beyond that of most ' regular ' folks. For a lot of people, that's " intimidating " because they figure that, when talking to you, they'd have to make sure they have a dictionary AND a thesaurus handy.

I'm not saying that you aren't a regular dude. Far from it. Having read quite a few of your posts, I know you are pretty much just like the rest of us. Well..except for that thing you have against goats. LOL

A lot of is just our old friend "Lazy Shorthand Generalizations" cropping up again....

OK, so I'm a writer and I know a lot of words, so that's automatically scary and intimidating. I don't get it, but I can't deny it's there, because I see it on a practically daily basis.

But if you talk to people, on this site, who know me a little -- I think they kind of lose track of the whole "writer" thing. There's a point where I stop being a "writer," per se, and I'm just me, which is completely different from this intimidational stereotype that people like to toss out as some kind of defense mechanism.

There are only a few things I'm any good at doing. I mean, FEW. I know people who can work on cars, or fix a computer, or train a dog, or whatever. Nobody seems to consider them "intimidating."

It's not like I'm searching for a linguistics expert -- yes, it would be nice to find someone with a rudimentary level of English skills, but no one I've ever known, in real life, felt it necessary to carry a dictionary and a thesaurus when they were around me (or at least they never admitted it).

I can agree with that. That is, sometimes, part of the problem.



Well. The thing is..

Because you are the one that knows the words and find that to be perfectly normal ( and I'm not saying it's not ), there is really no way for you TO " get it ". You don't have the right perspective to see it. You don't see it from the perspective of someone looking at your profile or reading some of the words that you use.




But those are people that have taken the time to talk to you. They have found out that, other than the big words at times, you really are a ' Regular Joe '.

Others, who have not taken advantage of that opportunity, aren't going to see things the same way the people that know you do.

I really don't know if I am doing a decent job of explaining what I mean.




Some people might.

Some people see the ability to write a novel, much less a couple of them, as needing much more intense concentration or ability to think than fixing a car. It's not necessarily true ( I wouldn't know since I'm not a writer ) but that is the perception, nonetheless.



Well. Someone who has a " rudimentary " level of English skills, is going to see that you are a writer, they'll read ( perhaps ) some of your posts, and they'll probably figure that their " rudimentary " English skills just wouldn't be enough to keep your attention.

And there are probably 100 things they can do that I can't. I don't find that intimidating -- I might find some of those things interesting (it's a bit of a crapshoot, really, depending on what any particular ability or talent might entail) -- but how can I be intimidated by a skill set that's simply different than mine?



But then I suppose it gets down to the issue of people making assessments based on insufficient data -- another shortcut. What happens here? I find the "blanket statement" people to be infinitely more annoying than the "occasional typo" people!

Maybe there are people who actually suffer from "wordophobia" or something, but those people are never going to mesh well with me, regardless, so there's no point in my being overly concerned with that.



If they saw how my writing actually works, I suppose they would be very, very disappointed!

Again, not really my problem. And I'm sure other writers have completely different methodologies.



Maybe, but I think that's an overly simplistic conclusion for them to reach. While I'm not opposed to the idea of dating someone who is as good a writer as I am, or better, it's certainly not a necessity -- it's one consideration out of some bigger number of considerations, and not even a particularly significant one, in the Grand Scheme of Things.

While I agree with the idea that they probably wouldn't be able to hold my attention, it isn't going to be because of their writing skills, or lack thereof.

Dude. It's a dating site. Look at the OGP thread again.

Insufficient data is the lifeblood here.

People make those assumptions every single day.

A dude or woman doesn't look " cute " enough...click next. No matter if they have any other qualities you are looking for. We live in the ' instant gratification ' world. people don't have ' time ' to collect any data.

Maybe there are people who actually suffer from "wordophobia" or something, but those people are never going to mesh well with me, regardless, so there's no point in my being overly concerned with that.

Well. It may not be listed in any of the AMA journals, or Psych books, but I think there just might be something like that. Someone who can use big words can instill a feeling of inferiority in some folks.

Maybe, but I think that's an overly simplistic conclusion for them to reach. While I'm not opposed to the idea of dating someone who is as good a writer as I am, or better, it's certainly not a necessity -- it's one consideration out of some bigger number of considerations, and not even a particularly significant one, in the Grand Scheme of Things.

While I agree with the idea that they probably wouldn't be able to hold my attention, it isn't going to be because of their writing skills, or lack thereof.

Perhaps I am being overly simplistic. But sometimes, the toughest questions have the simplest solutions.

The simplicity of my statements is mainly used because that's the way things are in this world. People like things to be more simple.

When things get complicated, it forces them to think. Not many want to have to expend the energy or time to actually do that anymore than they absolutely have to.

i tell people that but no one listens to me.

Look at the bright side, you're not starving, cold, and dying of an unknown disease. I'm okay being alone.

plus you have the voices to keep you company, remember?