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| Topic: Are you a good parent | |
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WHY ARE YOU AFRAID TO SPANK YOUR KIDS? Don't you know if you love them it's ok to hit them and TEACH them respect? We live in a completely upside down society. Are you kidding me? You say THEY'RE the bad parents? It is possible to teach your kids without hitting them, many (most) of us do. I was hit, a lot, as a child. Did it teach me respect? Hell no, it taught me to be afraid and it taught me to hide what I was doing better and it taught me to lie. It taught me that I wasn't a person with a mind of my own and that myself wasn't good enough and it taught me to subjugate myself to the whim of another person. That's what hitting your kids teaches them. I think you experienced abuse. Not spanking Very big difference Nope, not really. When you hit your kids to "teach" them anything, you're not teaching them anything at all, but how to fear you. Sure, they may not repeat the behavior, but that's in fear of the pain you, as a parent, are inflicting on them. It's not teaching them anything about the rightness or wrongness of their actions, or the whys and wherefores of their behavior. And mostly, parents who spank, spank out of anger and frustration, not to "teach." Spanking them in public simply teaches them that it's ok to be humiliated and to humiliate others. The difference between spanking and abuse is simply a matter of degree and semantics. |
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I agree to I spanked all four of them when they needed it! I was never their friend. Always their mother!! I ruled!! And ya know what. The older ones actually verbally thanked me My heart melted!! ( I love you barbi. Jamie. Ashley. Chelsea) |
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I think many people believe that we are all superior to other species on this planet.
Big mistake in thinking like that. You can argue that we ARE superior to other animals.....but we are animals too.....and when you're done debating/arguing ....we're all animals at the end of the day. When you turn on the local news(pick any day) there's this overall 'worry' about our children s safety. We've become a nation of worriers and scaredy-cats. How did we get along so far before this? bottom line....parents in general are raising pansies....who will not be able to deal with the harshness and realities of life.....but no problem....they'll just make more stupid laws. |
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WHY ARE YOU AFRAID TO SPANK YOUR KIDS? Don't you know if you love them it's ok to hit them and TEACH them respect? We live in a completely upside down society. Are you kidding me? You say THEY'RE the bad parents? It is possible to teach your kids without hitting them, many (most) of us do. I was hit, a lot, as a child. Did it teach me respect? Hell no, it taught me to be afraid and it taught me to hide what I was doing better and it taught me to lie. It taught me that I wasn't a person with a mind of my own and that myself wasn't good enough and it taught me to subjugate myself to the whim of another person. That's what hitting your kids teaches them. I think you experienced abuse. Not spanking Very big difference Nope, not really. When you hit your kids to "teach" them anything, you're not teaching them anything at all, but how to fear you. Sure, they may not repeat the behavior, but that's in fear of the pain you, as a parent, are inflicting on them. It's not teaching them anything about the rightness or wrongness of their actions, or the whys and wherefores of their behavior. And mostly, parents who spank, spank out of anger and frustration, not to "teach." Spanking them in public simply teaches them that it's ok to be humiliated and to humiliate others. The difference between spanking and abuse is simply a matter of degree and semantics. |
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I don't have kids
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WHY ARE YOU AFRAID TO SPANK YOUR KIDS? Don't you know if you love them it's ok to hit them and TEACH them respect? We live in a completely upside down society. Are you kidding me? You say THEY'RE the bad parents? It is possible to teach your kids without hitting them, many (most) of us do. I was hit, a lot, as a child. Did it teach me respect? Hell no, it taught me to be afraid and it taught me to hide what I was doing better and it taught me to lie. It taught me that I wasn't a person with a mind of my own and that myself wasn't good enough and it taught me to subjugate myself to the whim of another person. That's what hitting your kids teaches them. I never hit the girls to the point of hurting. That's abuse. It was with a stern and loving hand and they knew it To hurt is to abuse And yes they had the fear of mom in them I mean that was my job in life. That's why these so called friend parents are raising losers My girls in their 20's. They are now my friends. My 17 year old not quite yet I think you experienced abuse. Not spanking Very big difference Nope, not really. When you hit your kids to "teach" them anything, you're not teaching them anything at all, but how to fear you. Sure, they may not repeat the behavior, but that's in fear of the pain you, as a parent, are inflicting on them. It's not teaching them anything about the rightness or wrongness of their actions, or the whys and wherefores of their behavior. And mostly, parents who spank, spank out of anger and frustration, not to "teach." Spanking them in public simply teaches them that it's ok to be humiliated and to humiliate others. The difference between spanking and abuse is simply a matter of degree and semantics. |
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Hello tyke top o the morning to ya
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Try growing up Irish catholic in the 70's, my parents whacked us for no reason!
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I don't believe in a god that believes that hurting someone else is ok. And I believe in tough love, but I think you can accomplish the same ends without resorting to physical violence. I don't think that my son needs to fear me in order for him to respect me or learn to follow rules or anything else. I believe that I can have a good, loving, respectful relationship with my child that isn't based on fear of physical violence. I believe that I can teach my child to survive in this world in ways other than using his fists. I believe there are other, better ways of solving problems than to physically force someone into submission. Hitting our children teaches them it's ok to use physical violence to achieve an end, this is why there is so much abuse in the world, why men beat their wives and girlfriends, why women beat their children, why people of both sexes abuse their pets. The only way to stop this world of the violence we live in is to stop repeating the cycle of violence. Change begins at home and no where else. |
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Try growing up Irish catholic in the 70's, my parents whacked us for no reason! |
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Try growing up Irish catholic in the 70's, my parents whacked us for no reason! |
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Try growing up Irish catholic in the 70's, my parents whacked us for no reason!
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I don't believe in a god that believes that hurting someone else is ok. And I believe in tough love, but I think you can accomplish the same ends without resorting to physical violence. I don't think that my son needs to fear me in order for him to respect me or learn to follow rules or anything else. I believe that I can have a good, loving, respectful relationship with my child that isn't based on fear of physical violence. I believe that I can teach my child to survive in this world in ways other than using his fists. I believe there are other, better ways of solving problems than to physically force someone into submission. Hitting our children teaches them it's ok to use physical violence to achieve an end, this is why there is so much abuse in the world, why men beat their wives and girlfriends, why women beat their children, why people of both sexes abuse their pets. How hard and how bad were you hit because you keep using the word violence My daughters would never use that word to describe my discipline The only way to stop this world of the violence we live in is to stop repeating the cycle of violence. Change begins at home and no where else. |
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Edited by
RealityMan
on
Thu 07/02/09 07:21 AM
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believe it or not a parent does instill somewhat of fear and thats just what a parents job is, its called tough love but so many people today are so scared of the law they reword everything and make you think its bad hitting your chilid. its not! god hisself says spare the rod spoil the child. society might say im wrong but god says im right, i would rather listen to god I don't believe in a god that believes that hurting someone else is ok. And I believe in tough love, but I think you can accomplish the same ends without resorting to physical violence. I don't think that my son needs to fear me in order for him to respect me or learn to follow rules or anything else. I believe that I can have a good, loving, respectful relationship with my child that isn't based on fear of physical violence. I believe that I can teach my child to survive in this world in ways other than using his fists. I believe there are other, better ways of solving problems than to physically force someone into submission. Hitting our children teaches them it's ok to use physical violence to achieve an end, this is why there is so much abuse in the world, why men beat their wives and girlfriends, why women beat their children, why people of both sexes abuse their pets. The only way to stop this world of the violence we live in is to stop repeating the cycle of violence. Change begins at home and no where else. Will have to agree to disagree with all that. Understand that we LIVE in a violent world.....even mother nature is downright nasty at times. It's like the people who oppose war.... It's all very honorable to think peace and love will work out....but you HAVE to be realistic...it ain't NEVER gonna happen!!! Never has,never will. |
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Exactly reality man!!
Mother nature is one mama I wouldn't want!! LOL Tammy 
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Any hit is violence. Look up the definition.
That being said, I'm sorry if I offended anyone with my views, it wasn't my intention. And to counter the accusation, I have a very realistic view of the world we live in. I just happen to have a very optimistic view of what the world could be, if people would stop assuming that all the negativity is normal and inevitable. It's not. I do with you all peace, though. |
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Love to you also suzin!
If we did not disagree as humans the world would be a crazy place! Have a great day Love always Tammy |
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Edited by
Unknow
on
Thu 07/02/09 07:49 AM
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and I blame it all on: Spare the rod-spoil the child....which is NON-existent in America. I never once had to raise my hand to either of my daughters. The older will be a senior in HS next year and is deciding what University she will be attending. Among her options are Fordham, NYU, Johns Hopkins, Boston U, and her "reach" school, Yale. The younger one will be a junior and has already decided on film school at UCLA. They are both wonderful, funny, smart, respectful, and have a heightened awareness of the world around them. You're a 43 year old man with no children and you presume to be an expert????? Sorry about your situation, but don't go stereotyping. Until you have a doctorate in child or adolescent behavioral sciences AND YOU ARE A PARENT, save your silly false know-it-all assumptions. |
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