I've always wondered. Most people say appearance doesn't matter, but I'm beginning to think that subconsciously it does. Do height and appearance play a role of picking a mate for most of you? I'm just wondering if most of my problem is due to that? I try to look as best I can, but I'm short and that has me wondering.

Appearance , height, weight, looks is everything!

Everyone has different preferences. There is no right or wrong that works for everyone.
Some people like short, some people like tall. Some people like in between.

Pats has a big mouth don't listen to him

of course looks matter....well im shallow so maybe not to everyone

It depends, in all honesty. I had a BF in high school for over a year who was 5'2 (I'm 5'8 barefoot) and I had another who was 6'2. I've dated heavy, skinny, hairy, bald....

What matter there was I had a chance to get to know them for who they were. Then I got attracted to their personality and even if I didn't get all hot and heavy the first time I met them... they grew on me. This is a hard to find. And as well, it takes a hell of a personality to outweigh a physical dislike or a non-preferential issue.

what is physically attractive to me, may not be to someone else. And what's physically attracted to someone else, may not be attractive to me.

From what I've seen, the "looks don't matter" crowd is essentially just trying to avoid coming across as shallow or superficial.

The reality is that, if looks truly didn't matter, I think we'd be seeing a lot more hooking-up here than what we have been.

There are hundreds of people on this site who would seem to fit very nicely into a lot of other people's "I'm looking for someone who...." descriptions, but very little is being done about it. You can blame distance, you can blame lots of things, but I'm guessing a lot of it is just people being dishonest about what it is they REALLY want.

I want a smart guy who is a rockin' hot kisser. Nervous, apathetic, or weak/doormatty guys don't want me to get my groove on... no matter how much Barry White you got going on.

So Lexy... I agree with your statement. Mostly! The professor was short, skinny, scrawny.... big hawkish nose! But he had a great personality and was so smart I was in awe. And he kissed like a God. So there ya go...

Well-said!

looks do matter Lex

First source of stimulation is 'normally' visual.

I'm 5 ft 1 =/
Soo : D asking for a guy who is taller than me is really not too difficult lol

Looks are important..However, from what I've experienced, someone that is not drop dead gorgeous can become very attractive me if he is kind, warm, respectful, a man in every way..and someone who is beautiful by the world's view has become gross and ugly after he has shown his personality and inablity to be respectful.

I have to agree with this guy....although, No looks arent the major factor for me, but you do have to be attracted to who you are with. On the other hand tho, the way a person treats me and my kids is also how I eventually see them phsically too, so its not one over the other, although who they are inside out weighs physical appearance, but it does matter to a digree, BUT also in saying that, everyone is different in WHAT physical attribute is attractive to them. I'm only 5'3 and am NOT a model by any means, but its who I am and the right one will come along when its meant to be and accept and like me for me and if it works out between us, its far more based on WHO I am than just physical appearance.

But you're more open to that sort of thing BECAUSE you really do care about more than looks.

Let's face it, a dumb guy is going to bore you silly within 10 minutes, no matter how good he might look.

I mean, we all have our preferences, and that's fine. And some of us even have the ability to push the envelopes of those preferences, when circumstances allow. I used to do that all the time!! I don't really do it much anymore (bad experiences ad infinitum) but even I will admit that there are times I think I could think outside my own preference-box on occasion.

What I'm talking about here, on this thread, though, is the persistence of the "looks don't matter, it's what's on the inside that counts" argument when it's coming from a place of sheer (self?-) deception; solely for the purpose of making oneself SEEM to be open-minded and blah blah blah.

Hey, you like what you like. It's nobody else's business, really.

I figure it this way -- if someone wants to call me shallow and superficial because I like a certain type, or because I know what works for me and what doesn't, that's OK. If I really cared about what people thought of me, I would've become a goat a long time ago.

i definatly want to be with someone i can look at. i also want to be able to relate to them. When you are out in the public and someone catches your eye, 99% of that is physical attraction.

Oh Lexy I hear you. Totally I agree. I usually do. Although I see you as more of a mountain lion than a goat....

there has to be some kind of attraction when dating IMO...but as others said...it's all about preferences. as Jill said...what I think is attractive may not be what she thinks is attractive

who says appearance doesn't matter? course it matters! different for everyone but it matters alright.

A friend of mine went out with a guy who had mutton chops and a pompadour.... neither of which he had in his profile pictures. She said she spent the date trying to recall his photo and imagine him without these things...