i recently found a girl that i really like we have a lot in common and everyone in her family loves the fact that i make her happy and whenever she comes home from a weekend at my house shes full of pep. and not sex wise ive only taken her to a race at pocono and the following weekend to the movies. but it seems im being pushed away because she said she wants to get her license and a job first which i dont mind im totally willing to wait. but it seems that shes put up a list and is going in that order and pushing things away that arent at the top. Its even harder when her family can see that we would make a perfect couple and that means a lot to me because i never got along well with any of my ex's family. im told im a good friend but ive heard that before and gotten hurt. i dont want to put all the effort into something only to have it come back and hurt me again. i know everyone says just wait on it have patients blah blah blah but how am i supposed to feel when we've both told each other things we've never told anyone else? someone please help i could use it :(

Dude, she does not want to be in a relationship with you and is coming up with excuses. Time to move on.

Good Luck

ok then why lead me on? why tell me that im the nicest guy shes ever known and she'd def be happy with me?

Hi pal. There's an old saying.....

"If you love someone, set them free
If they come back, they are yours.
If they don't, they're not meant to be."

Maybe you should check out some of the "Why do nice guys finish last" threads. Maybe you are too nice of a guy.

what if i already sent them free? and she came back?

Talk to her. If she doesn't want to be in a relationship move on. good luck.

been there done that im not overly nice but i am respectful compared to some other guys i know and all the ones she dated. im not a pushover i fight for what i belive in.

Don't scrutinize the 'why'. Who cares why? She is obviously not someone with whom you should invest your time. By trying to unlock her mind, you are creating drama and sucking energy away from meeting someone else that will be happy to commit to you.

Move on; don't ask why; close 'her' door and open a new one!

if you're having these issues this early in the relationship just move on

even on the "friendship" door?

Then she's yours. And you can decide to take her or leave her.

You'd be in total control of the situation pal.

Dude, she's just not into you. She's not leading you on. She's told you that she's not interested in a relationship with you. She just told you in a way to avoid hurting your feelings. You cannot blame her for this, I'm sure she's a nice person. But, she doesn't want to be with you.

As an after thought, you said her family feels you would be a perfect couple (or something to that effect).

Think about that for a moment.

First, who cares what anyone else thinks about you and your relationships.

Secondly, perfect by what criterion? Equivocal, excuse giving, immature standards?

I’d rather shoot myself in the foot than get wrapped up in something like this ...

I wish you well!

Melody's right- if it ain't right, it ain't right. If she doesn't wanna tie herself down, there's nothing you can do to change things. It doesn't matter what anyone else (especially her family) would have to say about the situation, as they technically can't meddle in your (and her) affairs.

Your best course of action would be to just cut your losses and move on.

No not really those just the fact that her family is happy she brought home a good guy for once and not a total loser that will only looks at her chest and beauty. she had bad one nighters when the guy did his thing then up and left. and honestly i never even thought of doin that yet just workin on a mature level based of communication and honesty

sometimes they come back because they feel safe and secure because it is cold amd ugly out there alone

HA tell me about cold and ugly i know it all to well. but i sent her free and she came back but still says the same things thats whats confusing about women

I feel badly saying this about a person I don't know -- and only getting your side of the story -- but how are you going to work on a "mature level of communication and honesty" with someone that doesn't seem to be mature?

She seems to have a questionable past, or at the very least a past filled with bad decisions.

I'd think about this one ... is this the type of person you want to invest in? People with a lot of issues like this will bring you down too.

I think you need to ‘man up’ and move on!

(my statement is general and I know there are exceptions )

its not that she's not mature which she is. she had to grow up with no mom since she was 14 and take care of her brothers and sister since her dad worked his ass off for them. its the fact that she's making a list like a christmas list and ignoring anything and everything that she feels like will get in her way. i know she does'nt want to get hurt and have all those things fail. but isn't life about taking chances?