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| Topic: ARE-YOU-LONELY? | |
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everyone feels that way at one time or another. I actually feel good lately. I have a great family (except the step dad....that's a whole jerry springer show) and great friends. 
Thank you. It helps to know this is something others have gone through and that I’m not abnormal. Sometimes, just knowing you’re not alone in something is comforting.
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 Has anyone else gone through this?
Yes. I've basically been going through the exact same thing since last August. How do you make it go away?
I haven't got the vaguest hint of a trace of an inkling of a clue. I suspect it's permanent. So, what you’re saying is… the solution is simple and I should expect an email from you within the next day or two giving detailed steps to take that will not only resolve this issue, but will also fix any other problems I may have (the exception being that it won’t make me taller)? 
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i can honestly say i don't get lonely
I USED to be able to say that. 
Careful... something may be in the water. |
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You need a date, a partner, not more friends. your profile says you are looking for activity partners and I've read your previous saying, that how you are looking for someone to go hiking, play sports etc. That's what friends for, and if you think you got enough friends and still feel lonely, you need to find that particular person who will be with you, even when the friends go home.
I’m not sure I want to trade in this temporary (I’m hoping) bit of feeling lonely for the hassles that come with dating and relationships. 
I think you may have found a link though. As I said, I’m also trying to adjust to feeling things I don’t allow myself to feel (yes, about a man… no, I’ve not even met him so there’s nothing going on). Anyway, maybe the whole “lonely” even though I’m around others thing just boils down to my wanting so badly to “pick his brain” in person? Kind of like when you crave a certain food, but eat something else instead while thinking “this isn’t what I really want.”
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You need a date, a partner, not more friends. your profile says you are looking for activity partners and I've read your previous saying, that how you are looking for someone to go hiking, play sports etc. That's what friends for, and if you think you got enough friends and still feel lonely, you need to find that particular person who will be with you, even when the friends go home.
I don't know. Isn't that kind of like saying you're not happy and expecting that all to change when you start dating someone? Agree 
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Take the time to get to know yourself and you will never be lonely because you will always be with your best friend. 
I do feel like I know myself… kind of hard not to since I always seem to be hanging around. I’ve never referred to myself as my best friend, but I do like me and seem to be able to put up with my bad habits so far.
Seriously, I do understand what you’re saying. And if this was a reoccurring thing, I think the advice would fit better. I’m normally very content with myself and my life and this is just something that popped up.
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Take the time to get to know yourself and you will never be lonely because you will always be with your best friend.
good advice. I used to think someone had to make me happy (when I was younger) but I learned to be happy with myself...I even argue with myself too 
I do that also. My mother says “It’s ok to talk to yourself, but you should worry if you start answering.” I looked at where that advice was coming from and then me, myself & I agreed to ignore it.
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Has anyone else gone through this?
Yes. I've basically been going through the exact same thing since last August. How do you make it go away?
I haven't got the vaguest hint of a trace of an inkling of a clue. I suspect it's permanent. dis appear go somewhere new away from everyone you have sent most of your time with i think if ya got money they call it a sabbatical if ya can do it for a month or too you will reboot you brian and things will not look so gloomy at least it worked for me  
I’d love to go somewhere new and have been thinking about a few trips. I’m actually making plans to go meet with two other Minglers who live in different states, but what about between now and then? I can’t do it for a month. I work and I wouldn’t subject anyone to a month-long visit from me. Then they would be on here posting for help/advice.
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Yes I'm lonely and Yes - I love that song! 
It’s not that I would wish this on anyone, but it helps to know I’m not alone in feeling this way. Thank you for letting me know.
I didn’t care that much for it before, but the song has obviously grown on me. I’m normally more of a “Beat Of A Different Drum” (Linda Ronstadt) type myself. |
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i was lonlier in my marriage than i ever could be now. Why? My marriage was more like taking care of a demanding, temper-tamper throwing toddler. 
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Edited by
alternativa
on
Wed 06/10/09 12:36 PM
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dis appear go somewhere new away from everyone you have sent most of your time with i think if ya got money they call it a sabbatical if ya can do it for a month or too you will reboot you brian and things will not look so gloomy at least it worked for me
Tried that -- I've basically been in seclusion since the car accident in Feb. -- and while it's true I've managed to avoid having to deal with most of the people I knew from "before," nothing has really improved at all. You and I should trade for a bit. I’d love some seclusion and you need to be where there are more people and things are open later. I’m within an about an hour or two’s drive to large cities, the mountains, the beach, or amusement parks. There’s also the Capital. Have I sold you on the idea of a vacation house swap yet? 
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You need a date, a partner, not more friends. your profile says you are looking for activity partners and I've read your previous saying, that how you are looking for someone to go hiking, play sports etc. That's what friends for, and if you think you got enough friends and still feel lonely, you need to find that particular person who will be with you, even when the friends go home.
I don't know. Isn't that kind of like saying you're not happy and expecting that all to change when you start dating someone? She says, she got friends and surrounded by people and go out having fun with them. Obviously, that's not enough after a while if she still feels lonely. Fun, yes. But not really compatible people when it comes to conversations, ideas, beliefs and debating. 
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Yes I agree, we tend to forget that in our previous marriage we were lonelier than ever! So if that is the case than marriage not the answer? So what do we need to do to prevent that from happening again because being single can be the same way! sooo thru my experiences with age aha I have been married once lived with partner and not married thought I found my soul mate back to being single again only this time I am more independent, confident and free to travel places I never thought of doing before so it does get better but the question still is , where do we look for that one person to spend the rest of your life with that our forefathers were so successfull at doing? Please tell me!
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i'm sooo sorry. 
You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. You always make me smile, almost always make me laugh, always know just the right thing to say. Your notes are a gift I am always grateful to have received. I am the one sorry if my being this way is making you feel sorrow. 
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It might be depression, you might want to look into counseling if it keeps up. Usually getting out with friends or family will stop the loneliness. Sometimes we have to learn how to live with ourselves, rather than hoping someone else will make it better for us. Hope you feel better soon. It is normal for all of us to get lonely once and awhile. Guess its a matter of how we handle that loneliness that is important. I have been single a really long time, and had to learn to enjoy myself for me. When I waited for someone to come into my life to correct that loneliness- I was miserable. I have since learned to enjoy myself, even when I feel lonely. When and if someone else comes into my life, will just be an extra bonus when the time comes. (((Hug)))
It’s only been about a week, so I’m hoping I’m not depressed. I’m not looking for someone to make it better for me; just hoping someone has been through something similar and has some helpful advice so I can help myself. Thank you for the advice and kindness.
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With all of my friends, family & pets...I'm am rarely ever "alone"...but I do get lonely for my  love ...
Thank you. I mean this is the best of ways… although I don’t like to think of someone else feeling this way, it is nice to hear that others understand it and know I’m not alone in it. I’m guessing he/she is not near? I hope that changes for you soon.
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im lonely, and i bloody hate it. that avril lavigne song is a good'un.
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Edited by
darkowl1
on
Wed 06/10/09 12:45 PM
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You need a date, a partner, not more friends. your profile says you are looking for activity partners and I've read your previous saying, that how you are looking for someone to go hiking, play sports etc. That's what friends for, and if you think you got enough friends and still feel lonely, you need to find that particular person who will be with you, even when the friends go home.
I’m not sure I want to trade in this temporary (I’m hoping) bit of feeling lonely for the hassles that come with dating and relationships.
I think you may have found a link though. As I said, I’m also trying to adjust to feeling things I don’t allow myself to feel (yes, about a man… no, I’ve not even met him so there’s nothing going on). Anyway, maybe the whole “lonely” even though I’m around others thing just boils down to my wanting so badly to “pick his brain” in person? Kind of like when you crave a certain food, but eat something else instead while thinking “this isn’t what I really want.”
endless landscape there...... forget the pick, here's a shovel. do you know how to work a backhoe or earthmover?
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Tried that -- I've basically been in seclusion since the car accident in Feb. -- and while it's true I've managed to avoid having to deal with most of the people I knew from "before," nothing has really improved at all. did not say to isolate yourself just be around different people where you can be yourself without caring what anyone thinks isolation usually makes it worse for me sorry to here about your accident hope yer doing ok Hmmm…Go where I’m around different people where I can do things and not care what people think? Maybe I should take another trip to Vegas.
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I didnt read all that, but am I lonely no.. and I suspect that Avril levigne may not only NOT help, but possibly make it worse.
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