That person likely had those bills before the relationship started. They can take care of them the same way they were before.

Exactly and if they can't afford to do a percentage of their pay along with their own bills?

Hummm hate to say it but I'm not paying for someone else credit cards ect...

To me splitting the bills includes the rent, groceries & utilities bills any personal bills remain personal. JMO

If you're just living together that is now it might be different if you got married.

I agree with you Kristi AND if I'm paying crazy daycare along with medical bills, etc. I'm not going to pay a higher percentage of the bills than someone else nor would I expect them to...

How were they living before? At home with mommy and daddy? Are we talking about grown up people here?

Maybe they should look for a less expencive place to live in. That way each person could pay 25% of their pay instead of 50%.

I'm saying for instance, you merge a family but b/c of that you had your own bills from your own family... So you still have those bills, perhaps child support and or alimony.... I'm just saying b/c I make more I'm not 1) giving up my lifestyle to pay more than another person 2) I do not expect that person to either 3) I give my sons money and pay for lots of things for them and they're over 21, I don't want that to change or anyone to expec that it should b/c I make more money than they do...

Who knows if they were living on their own it has to be a hell of a lot cheaper by splitting it down the middle then what they had to pay before. That is I assume if they had their own place before.

I agree with you Joy what I do as far as my kids ect is my choice. I'm not about to pay more then someone else if I made more money so what it still cost to live they would not get a discount in a apartment complex cause they do not make the same as the person next door did.

When my ex and I moved in together my bills were far more and we split everything down the middle..

Well, I guess I'm just a nicer, more giving person than you are.

Oh perhaps you are Perhaps you don't have children...

That comes down to your partner understanding the burden you carry and accepting the idea, that you are have a lot of things to pay for and can't afford to split money out of it. So what each case with everyone is different, there is no universal idea, which fits everyone.

Good point Atlantis... I'm a meanie...

Oh but I do. Moreover, he lived with me and I never got a single child support payment from his mother.

That's just so wonderful of you...

No you are not.. I'm just saying, that whoever want to have you as a partner, must face the fact that you are already paying a lot of stuff. So having you as a lover, also comes with a price, but I'm not saying this in a negative way, if someone truly loves you, he wouldn't mind or see this as an obstacle. Unless of course, the person really makes no money whatsoever. I mean, if someone owns or already rents a space for himself and meanwhile you are paying for your children already, he doesn't really pay more than he paid already for himself for the rent, having you around.

It's a different situation to move into a larger place, because of the kids. Then, the rent becomes more expensive, but since you don't have to pay for your own rent or mortgage anymore, you can share that piece you were paying and he pays whatever he paid for his space and boom, there is the money ready for the more expensive place.

Essentialy you are still having the same money around and so does he. In better circumstances, moving together would save money and have a surplus. I would suggest to keep your checks and bills separate and pay for your own stuff for a while until things normalize a bit.


Am I overexplaining this?

I thought so. But, I'd better shut up. I'm going to ruin my reputation as a jerk.

I know you weren't saying that hun, it was inferred above.. I have always paid my own way and my sons ways and all the extras they needed.. You put it nicely... My stance is that b/c I make more doesn't mean should pay more when I have high bills to support my sons which I do not expect help with not even from their father...

I don't think you have to worry about that...

Cool.