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| Topic: how to let go,but just can't? | |
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i was seeing this girl for little less then a year.i was 32 and she was 18.he parents were not happy with this.this girl,i would have and still would die for her.when she was away,i was sssooo depressed,but when we were together,i didn't have a care in the world.my troubles went away and i smiled.(i'm not the smiling type)we stop seeing each other back in december,but now we are in june,i just can't let go and she has.i just can't seem to find anyone else to date and no one makes me feel like she did.can anyone help?(i need a serious answer,not some b.s.)
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Edited by
njmom05
on
Mon 06/01/09 03:46 PM
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I felt like this about my ex bf. He was the most amazing person and I swear I'll never date anyone who made me feel the way he did. The only thing that has helped me to get over him is time. Our relationship ended in January 2008 and I honestly haven't had much interest in dating anyone else. I decided instead to throw myself into my work, raising my son and a few hobbies.
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i was seeing this girl for little less then a year.i was 32 and she was 18.he parents were not happy with this.this girl,i would have and still would die for her.when she was away,i was sssooo depressed,but when we were together,i didn't have a care in the world.my troubles went away and i smiled.(i'm not the smiling type)we stop seeing each other back in december,but now we are in june,i just can't let go and she has.i just can't seem to find anyone else to date and no one makes me feel like she did.can anyone help?(i need a serious answer,not some b.s.) Where and how have you looked for new people to date? In my own experience I need to go through the withdrawal phase but it usually ends when I decide to end it (i.e. when I get sick of being miserable), if you start thinking about her, put your mind to work on something else, hit the gym go jogging, whatever you do for fun/exercise. |
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Andro, you need to focus on you and what you enjoy. Doing those things will take your mind of the old relationship. I don't know if you have children but I know that I would have a problem with a 32 year old dating my 18 year old. Your life experiences were too different. Find yourself and your joy and then you will be open enough to finding a woman you can connect with. Good Luck.
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This is Betty From West Tn here..
So I see ya caught my problem I was with a guy for lived with for two years we loved eachother dearly and loved times with eachother then one day he went to work with a construction crew stayed gone like 3 months at a time and' well he quit sending the bill money for his part for like 2 months there then I was having problems with land lord needing her money so evently had to go find me and my two kids a place I could afford. He came back gave kids christmas left me some of his stuff and said he would come back and explain things and honey never seen him again; Take that to heart it still kills me to this day. I been is some scary so strange relat ionships let me tell you. We have a story to tell we should write a book huh...Just saw your profile and wonted to explain my trouble with this matter. maybe we can be friends and keep in touch. Do you see her anymore? I wish you the best and hey life can get better. Be strong and put it in gods hands that is what I have to do now. PEACE Dear.. |
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pick yourself up and move on. you can still care about someone without wanting someone. do things to help take your mind off of it. like get involved in the forums as much as possible...that's what I did.
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hang out at the high school
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if my 18 year old was dating a 32 year old I woulda had to get the shotgun from over the fireplace
stick your little finger out now stick out your ring finger next the middle finger and the pointy finger you have let go |
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The first thing you need to do OP is to find out how to be happy on your own. You simply cannot put the responsability on someone else for your happyness. It is up to you. ONce you become happy with yourself you will then be ready to persue another relationship if that is what you want.
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Sometimes you just have to. Time helps.
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if my 18 year old was dating a 32 year old I woulda had to get the shotgun from over the fireplace Ditto that! |
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Its over. Move on. Quit killin yourself. Find hobbies that get your mind off the thinking. Takes time.
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you need to a few things seriously.
First you need to EVALUATE what is it you liked about her..I.e was it the way she made you feel? Or was just having her around make you see yourself in a different way? I've seen a lot of people who's confidence sky-rockets because of there significant other but they don't really have that confidence on their own... or was it the her sense of humor, her honesty..or the fact that you two shared common intrest and enjoyed doing them together? I've also noticed in a lot of older/younger relationships the reason the guy is mainly attracted to the younger girl is because they themselves are not ready to settle down and want to travel and play while older girls are more prone to wanting to settle. Second you need to write a list of the qualities and find out which ones you liked most about being around her...this does two things first it lets you see in-black-and-white what it is that you liked. IF it is a certian way she made you feel see if you can control that yourself. If not at least you know what you want in a future partner. Third and finally, It will take time, involve yourself in things that YOU enjoy doing on your own hopefully where other people are around doing the same things then you know at least you and them have something in common. Someone once told me "A lion doesn't look for it's mate in the middle of the ocean" meaning find someone in your natural habitat and you have a much more likely chance of finding someone you can have fun with. |
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thanks for giving me things to think about(not like i didnt already)but for real thanks.but not those jerks that dont know how to read about a serious answer
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if my 18 year old was dating a 32 year old I woulda had to get the shotgun from over the fireplace Ditto that! |
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if my 18 year old was dating a 32 year old I woulda had to get the shotgun from over the fireplace stick your little finger out now stick out your ring finger next the middle finger and the pointy finger you have let go |
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you need to a few things seriously. First you need to EVALUATE what is it you liked about her..I.e was it the way she made you feel? Or was just having her around make you see yourself in a different way? I've seen a lot of people who's confidence sky-rockets because of there significant other but they don't really have that confidence on their own... or was it the her sense of humor, her honesty..or the fact that you two shared common intrest and enjoyed doing them together? I've also noticed in a lot of older/younger relationships the reason the guy is mainly attracted to the younger girl is because they themselves are not ready to settle down and want to travel and play while older girls are more prone to wanting to settle. Second you need to write a list of the qualities and find out which ones you liked most about being around her...this does two things first it lets you see in-black-and-white what it is that you liked. IF it is a certian way she made you feel see if you can control that yourself. If not at least you know what you want in a future partner. Third and finally, It will take time, involve yourself in things that YOU enjoy doing on your own hopefully where other people are around doing the same things then you know at least you and them have something in common. Someone once told me "A lion doesn't look for it's mate in the middle of the ocean" meaning find someone in your natural habitat and you have a much more likely chance of finding someone you can have fun with. *Good Advice! Evaluate the relationship as a learning experience,about you. There is a lot of good info to sort out and think about. My son went through a breakup last year, he cried, he poured himself into WORKING OUT, he cried a little more, he made all new friends, he eventually made the move to let go and date someone new. I know it has been hard but he's made a new life and he's happy now. I'm happy too! I refer to him, because I think its a little different for men -(in some ways harder) to go through a breakup with someone they love. |
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 Do things that you enjoy doing and don't dwell on the past It will get easier with time
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Edited by
quiet_2008
on
Tue 06/02/09 02:08 PM
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if my 18 year old was dating a 32 year old I woulda had to get the shotgun from over the fireplace stick your little finger out now stick out your ring finger next the middle finger and the pointy finger you have let go off next time don't bother whinin about how you just can't let go of your sweet young thang when you prolly woulda got your ass shot off by her dad. |
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if my 18 year old was dating a 32 year old I woulda had to get the shotgun from over the fireplace Ditto that! he is NOT a jerk... I agree.. what is it that you saw in her or had in common other than to want to redo your youth...? nuture someone...? I would do the same thing if it were my daughter... |
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