LONG post...sorry for the inconvenience but I need help. I had a weekend at a convention with a girl that I had a sort of love at first site one sided relationship with....here is my blog post on my private blog but I need opinions. Mind you I am a 20 year old person so my fellow posters on here that are of an older or maybe even the same age may not agree or even understand what I am saying. So please don't "flame" me for having emotions. Also I think I might have sworn a few times in it but I don't think it was anything tooooo bad....a little more back story would be as follows.

So I met a girl through a friend and she was fantastic I mean looking at her picture alone for the first time made my heart skip a beat. We talked a short while for a month or so via the internet and finally I managed to work up the courage to ask her out. Sadly that same night she got a boy friend....this guy literally went through private messages between her and I to get my number and call me personally THAT night not even five minutes after he left her side to say I needed to back off....needless to say he doesn't like me very much. Any way here is the story of our first meeting ever along with a little extra about a convention. I figure it is easiest on myself to just post it all since any information might help out XD. Now then here is possibly the longest thing I have ever written about myself!


For those of you that believe in love at first site this is something for you to use as solid proof...for those looking for it feel free to read this as well and of course for those skeptics you can read this and see for yourself. Mind you this isn't true love or anything nor is it even regular love instead it is just what I believe one is trying to say when they mention "love at first site". I am absolutely infatuated with a girl I barely know...I've met her in real life but once for very short times and each time I was paralyzed with heart ache. Her eyes are possibly the most addictive substance known to man and I would give anything just to see them again in person. Her voice is sweet yet still very strong so hearing it calms me from my stupor when we speak to one another. Last but not least her character shines brighter than any one I've ever known. For the first time seeing a girl that I have interest in...I actually do want to know more...I actually believe what I say when I claim that "I want to hold your hand." Is the best love song ever written and last but not least once again I know that some how every thing will some how work out.

That is a light note on how I feel about a girl whom will remain nameless for the sake of not letting it spread some how. We met through a friend and we lost that chance through an ass hole that she forgives simply because she is so ****ing perfect. I wanted to know everything about her and I needed to see her...I would sell my soul to the devil himself to wrap my pinky around hers. However when I finally thought it would be a good time to ask her out. She got a boy friend. My world crashed in a single instant and I decided I would never let her go with out a fight....but that isn't the point of this post.

Anime Boston arrives after long nights of doubt, fear, loneliness, excitement, and joy the day had arrived. I was confident and ready to find her. A glance as all I needed. Dealers room sealed the deal when she walked by slowly with friends smiling big as if she found just the item she wanted or heard a great joke. Then I knew that I wasn't just making up what I said about her eyes. my body stopped in it's tracks and I was too afraid to move or to speak. My friends were near so I walked with them barely hanging onto reality. I thought "did she notice me?" Alas she did not and I managed to avoid an embarrassing situation and thought next time I'll be ready. Finally two attempts later she appears again still loving the con and the way everything was going. I said "**** it" as I walked over to her pretending not to know who she was. I even squinted as to get a closer look at her eyes this of course was an excuse...I really do love those ****ing things. I said something like "hmmm yeah I know you from some where...do you know Ken?" She said she did but not me....I laughed and said "yes you do...your name is *insert name here* and I am Alek Coble." She smiled and seemed pleased to see me however her friend whom I also knew seemed surprised in a bad way and moved on to the rest of the group. Our conversation was cut short and I left her side to let her go off to the bath room. We spoke once again that was cut short by her friends needing her. I accepted this because A. It wasn't my place to do otherwise and B. I was happy just to see that she spoke to me so kindly.

The Rave...music...lights...dances...people...and her. She was there and the gods pointed her out to me as often as they pleased. I didn't see her for long but I saw her often. This was a good time because it forced me to cut loose and not care. I just went for everything I felt like doing. Dances and screams of how I felt flew out of my head. Then I got dizzy and hot so I decided the time had come to leave the rave and change....she was at the exit and it was time for me to man up and come clean. So we spoke and out of every conversation I've had in my entire life this one conversation is the only one that I have ever fully hung onto every word of in my entire life. Every word felt like my first kiss and every time I saw her it felt like the first time I felt some one's head against my chest. Then he came along...I tried to be friendly but it didn't work out his hand shake was that of a dead fish and his glare filled my back with daggers. I listened for but a second until I caught a glimpse of familiar faces and left. With out a word and I never ran into her again...I wondered if she thought of me at all and I wondered her true opinion.

Ah yes old con friends arrived...Two of the lovely ladies from last years AAC that I simply adore! I tried to take my mind off of her and said that I was wrong and this was stupid...I just met her how can I even think I felt this way? It is just a chemical imbalance and my friends saying otherwise must be wrong. Simply put....it went horribly wrong and I ended up with a nice lecture from Ashley T_T. Needless to say I was upset and I needed a friend that wouldn't judge and would listen deeply. Alicia was right there willing to save me...right there with that girl and her boy friend. They were going out and I said **** it can I tag along? It was only across the street and I needed to talk to her. She just as I had a hard weekend and was in no mood...She gave me some hell so I gave it right back. I regretted my words instantly needless to say I found her after some moping and waiting and honestly deeply thinking about it all. I apologized and she did the same we were friends again...I love her in a different way I feel...sort of like a sister but at the same time we have chemistry but we don't want to be together at all. So it isn't like that or anything but we do indeed need one another for moments just like this. We did our famous well **** you and wow Alek way to be retarded then we went on our ways after I realized she needed alone time.

I could type about this for hours but this is an abridged means of how I felt at AB the after party I went to was fun lots of games and silly things to make me forget....but I needed to type this and I needed it to be public so maybe people could understand or maybe people could see why I am so weird. I've come to realize now that if I post this on Facebook it will cause drama in some way or make me look bad...hell. Even I think I am crazy....

You got it bad. Thing is, it's a crush and it will fade. I'm not denigrating your feelings, they are real but with crushes, they tend to be very intense but then they just disappear, given enough time. It's easy to idealize someone you don't know well as being "perfect," that's why crushes are so great, you don't know the imperfections. With a crush, the imperfections reveal themselves and you wonder why you felt the way you did. With real love, you see the imperfections and love them as well. Enjoy it for what it is but keep your heart open for someone else. Good luck to you

Sounds like you should maybe have a little faith in yourself that you will find somebody who reciprocates your feelings.... You got a long road ahead of you fella. Just see this for what it is and if she was in to you, then the laws of logic would suggest that you would be the one she is with now...

Don't let the foolish notions of what if's rule your head. Sure, she is probably a nice girl, sure you like her, but sometimes we dont all get what we want all the time.

The hardest thing to teach yourself to do is accept the situation and move on.. The right girl could be waiting for you around the corner... Would be a shame if you got so hung up on this girl you have a crush that you miss out on anybody else in the meantime.

Best thing to do is is learn not to take things to heart too much and see things for what they are.. Don't give up on the old romantic thing... But maybe spend that eneergy on somebody who is also interested in you... Hey lets face it.. most women don't really know what they want or what is good for them... So why torture yourself?

That friend of yours... Hmmm

i think i would just forget all about it. and maybe take a nice lil blue pill and go to sleep

Dude,

Have some pie. It'll make you feel much better.

Love My friend, is someone, something that robbed your house and then looked into your eyes as it ran from you. If you try to catch it, you will never see its partner sneaking back into the kitchen window. That might have been too metaphorical...

synopsis please

Or at least the cliff notes.

Hell, gimme the Reader's Digest version.

Brevity is the soul of wit.

yup, still don't know what it's about coz i refuse to read all that! it's like profiles that go on forever by the time u see how long they are u dont wanna know anyway

use The Jedi Mind Trick on her to make her forget about the other dude. be seeing you

I cannot answer. I went into a fugue while reading the third paragraph.

Hummm guess if some took the same amount of time to read instead of answering blindly they just might see within a persons heart.

I do have a question though did you ever actually tell the girl the way you actually felt? What I understand from what you have said is that you were interrupted each time. Also not sure if this girl is someone you see normally around or just a once in a lifetime thing. If so best advice I could give in order to ease your mind in the long run is tell her the way you honestly feel. Unsaid words are just that only spoken words are heard..............

Good luck in what ever you do yes you're young and there will always be another but........at times what we left unsaid will always be in the back of our minds what if?????????????????

ppl on here have hearts too? ur at it 2day Kristy and i aint believing no more u say

So what's the frequency, Kenneth?

To those wanting me to abridge the entire thing I say either read it or let it go as I already did abridge it. Any way yes I told her how I felt but only in a way as to not sound so weird. more like a HEY! I have interest in you sort of sentence. As for my friend she is JUST a friend I honestly can't say that we would be anything else because she and I just don't seem to see eye to eye on anything and we fight more than we just relax.

Finally to those that gave me some real advice and not cliche remarks! THANK YOU! I may not use some of it or I may use all of it but I really mean it when I say thank you. I've had such a hard time trying to think of something to do about this whole thing. I think what I'll do is try to just sit back and watch for a while. Then see how it all works out for me. Either way I've still got my school, my health, my job, and officially a new (not literally new XD) car. So in reality the only aspect in my life that is missing is romance which can always wait until the time comes.

What's an XD?

And are you an anime junkie?

How'bout Hentai, ey?!!!!!

You write a lot... I bet you twitter too... bloggidy blog everyday, do you?

I do like anime

XD = a face

Hentai is silly and I love to dub them but I rarely watch any of it

I just got back from a convention so this is why I am all laggy

I do not blog. In fact I think that is my first legit blog post ever.

see i knew i was right not to read it u wouldn't listen anyway so saved us all some bother!