So I have a co-worker that used to be a friend, until I overhauled my friends and he eliminated himself from the list (long story, but it has to do with his current girlfriend). Now, at work he complains about the way I do my job (which has remained the same since I started, pretty much), my manager doesn't bring these complaints to my attention unless I complain about his less than desired work performance.

Either way it still weighs heavily on my work performance, I don't have the motivation to do my job anymore, well, simply because either way this guy is going to complain if he is feeling bad towards me...which is often enough that I get to hear him piss and moan about what I do at work on an almost daily basis. I have brought it up to my manager to no avail, now I'm thinking of taking it up the ladder (we have a list of people we can talk to in order to rectify an issue at work)...however this will shine badly on my boss, and I really like her as she does an excellent job for the hand she deals with daily.

I should write books, I think they would be more meaningful than a two paragraph ***** about work.

i've been a manager and if someone brought a complaint to me, especially if it was something that was interfering with their work, and i didn't look into the validity and do something...then i deserved to have it take over my head.

I agree with Bastet. But taking the more diplomatic approach, ask your manager if the three of you could have a meeting to resolve your issues.

I'm lucky to have a great manager, and that's exactly how he resolves issues between two emloyees; he invites them both into his office or go out for coffee and let's them both voice their concerns, and helps them to come up with a solution...!

If that doesn't work, then do as Bastet says.

And if that doesn't work, you can always go postal and shoot up the whole office...!

Have you tried talking directly to him (not at work) about the problems between the 2 of you?

fear doesn't strike me as the kind of person who would have skirted an issue and just went running to the boss, i suppose i "presumed" he had already tried to work it out with the ex-friend. my bad though.

i've done the bring 'em in and sit down and talk approach and usually they just blow smoke up each other's arse, but not a bad first approach...

Fear as you get older -

the same situations rear their ugly head over and over again

even when you work for new employers-which is why I think so many

folks like to be their own boss and start their own business...

You sound like you are trying to work with everyone and not cause

too much of a stirr... If bringing it up nicely to your immediate supervisor isn't going to work
-politely go to the next in command-hopefully things will be resolved

Good Luck!

imho? focus on yourself, least you become him!...

fix what you can control, and what impacts you... everyone else see's him and how he acts...

don't let him 'win' by being dragged down to his level... if you stop reacting, he may even just start complaining about someone else :)...

sounds like he is not mature enough to handle your rejection of his friendship... if it's important to YOU, perhaps you can talk with him about the underlying issue... but only if it is that important to you...

Keep in mind: Management dosn't like whiners, chances are your not the first person he's done this to and people already recognize him for what he is. If there was a problem with your work performance I'm sure you would have been told by your superiors.
(you can always ask for a transfer)

Agreed 100%

Transfer, my ass! It's called a "hostile work environment". If your manager isn't going to address the issue, despite how good she does her job otherwise, then I would immediately go above her head. It has nothing to do with your personal relationship with her, or how well you get along otherwise, it's her JOB to deal with sh!t like this. If she ain't gonna do it, talk to the next person up the ladder who will. That's what the Human Resources office is for.

I am a manager, and I don't view legitimate issues as "whining". The thing is, if someone is being petty and childish and affecting the work environment of others, it has to be addressed. It shouldn't fall to Fear to "suck it up" or any of the other "stiff upper lip" bs that people are used to hearing. If it's not addressed, it could escalate.

IMO, the best way to approach this is with facts. Document the issue in a straightforward manner, including how it's affecting your work, and outline the solution YOU feel would fix the issue. It's not being presumptuous, it's showing that you're not just "whining" & you're actively looking for ways to solve the problem.

If that doesn't work, escalate. You'll have documented your attempt to work out a reasonable solution & follow chain of command, and you'll be closer to getting a resolution. Life is stressful enough without having to deal with immature idiots :)

I love my job.

Hmmmm.... I guess we need the details of your ex-friends girlfriend dont we..... What did she do or "not" do to you???? Just askin????

Nothing, I have absolutely no interest in her. She tried to play the field between me and him, I ended up meeting up with her once to see a movie and she didn't want to tell him...even though I said we should just tell him. He took her word, didn't discuss what happened with me, and the friendship ended. Not that it bothers me much as I really don't need friends like that.

Indeed, you know me well.

I have tried to work out the issue with him on multiple occasions to no avail, other employee's have brought up complaints about him as well...again, nothing seems to be getting done as he just keeps making the same mistakes and continues to complain about me.

Start playing pranks on the guy. Put a rubber snake in his desk drawer. Move sh!t around and when he's looking all over for it, put it back. Sort of the "Gaslight" approach.

Sleep with your co-workers mum and then tell all of his friends, post a video of it on the internet.

This wont help your job situation but you might enjoy it.

Then the guy has a valid harrassment claim on him,,,
nuh uh

Bruthuh, since when do you take someone's advice that goes against your better judgement? I am not grinding you but you need to set the record straight with this guy whether he likes it or not. Odds are, she's doing it with someone else now and you might be doing him a favor?

Start presenting complaints in writing. We even has anonymous reporting about issues and incidents that happen at work.
Issues that are brought up in writing receive more corrective attention than 'whining'
If the immediate supervisor does nothing, then take your documented issues to the next level.