100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: Styx & I Had A Baby | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
[watching cheerleaders change in a locker room]
Stewie: It appears my wee-wee's been stricken with rigor mortis. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Psychiatrist: Does Stewie have a history of violence?
Lois Griffin: Oh no, this is Stewie's first violent act. Stewie Griffin: Actually, my first violent act involved that ticking time bomb that I left in your uterus when I left. Happy 50th Birthday, Lois. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lois: Why are you here? The doctor said Peter was fine.
Death: Yeah, well, I guess he would know. I mean, after all, he is a doctor, and I'm just--DEATH. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
[on being President of the tobacco company]
Peter Griffin: And you won't believe all the perks we're getting! Ugly Girl: [to Meg] Hi. Meg Griffin: Uhh... can I help you? Ugly Girl: Some company hired me to stand next to you all day so you'd look better by comparison. Meg Griffin: That's ridiculous! I don't need... Boy: Hey Meg, did you get less ugly? Meg Griffin: [grabbing onto the ugly girl] Yeah! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lois: Here Stewie, I made your favorite pancakes.
Stewie: Thank you Lois, when I rule the world, your death shall come quick and painless. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Stewie: Mark my words, your uppance shall come.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
now look it's waaaaaaaaay past bed time
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dammit you VILE woman I'll go to bed when I'm damn well ready
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
where's your mom ??????
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Death: You can't tell anyone that I'm here. For if you do, the
consequences could be dire. Peter Griffin: Go on... Death: That's it. [to Lois] Death: God, what do you see in him? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Look in the mirror!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Peter Griffin: You know, some people think that dandelions are weeds.
But you know... uh... I always think, who the hell decided tulips were so great? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Stewie:Forecast for tomorrow; a few sprinkles of genius with a chance of
doom! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Stewie:Greg, I'm afraid you've earned four hours in the snake pit as
punishment. And Jan, for tattling on your brother, you've earned a day in the chamber of fire. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Meg Griffin: Chris! You're hogging all the fans!
Chris Griffin: Oh yeah? Well you're hogging all the UGLY! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lois, when I'm through with them, our kids will be so smart, they'll be
able to program their own VCRs without spilling piping hot gravy all over myself. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Chris Griffin: I wanna get Barbara a really nice gift, What kind of
gifts have boys gotten for you Meg? Meg Griffin: Oh... well, my boyfriend Prince William got me this beautiful watch and this diamond tiara and this wonderful scepter... [Meg laughs manically then breaks down sobbing] Stewie Griffin: She needs to get laid big time! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I think I'm going to give up...all I can find w/Stewie now are tidbits
of what we've already posted... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Stewie Griffin: You suck!   
|
|
|
|
|
