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| Topic: Children-less Mothers... | |
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I think Mom's Day (& Dad's Day, for that matter) is a great holiday. I think our parents should be honored every day...
  But I often think of the "children-less Mothers"...the unsung heros who help to raise other people's children...or women who have lost children due to miscarriage. (I lost my son in-utero)  I'm not saying that there should be a seperate holiday...but I do think these women should be recognized. Some of my warmest moments have been when an adult child that I helped to raise says "I remember that you were there when my Mom wasn't available"...etc... I've also experienced the pain when a callous woman would say that I wasn't a "Real Woman" since I had never experienced actual childbirth...or I wouldn't know the pain or joy since I had no (living) children of my own...it happens more often than you think. I only bring this up to remind us all that EVERY woman has a story...please appreciate that fact.
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I think Mom's Day (& Dad's Day, for that matter) is a great holiday. I think our parents should be honored every day... But I often think of the "children-less Mothers"...the unsung heros who help to raise other people's children...or women who have lost children due to miscarriage. (I lost my son in-utero) I'm not saying that there should be a seperate holiday...but I do think these women should be recognized. Some of my warmest moments have been when an adult child that I helped to raise says "I remember that you were there when my Mom wasn't available"...etc... I've also experienced the pain when a callous woman would say that I wasn't a "Real Woman" since I had never experienced actual childbirth...or I wouldn't know the pain or joy since I had no (living) children of my own...it happens more often than you think. I only bring this up to remind us all that EVERY woman has a story...please appreciate that fact. 
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How very thoughtful! My friends call me "Mom", heck my 42 yr old roommate calls me Mom! I have no desire to have any children of my own but I live for those who are close enough to benefit from my motherly ways
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I think Mom's Day (& Dad's Day, for that matter) is a great holiday. I think our parents should be honored every day... But I often think of the "children-less Mothers"...the unsung heros who help to raise other people's children...or women who have lost children due to miscarriage. (I lost my son in-utero) I'm not saying that there should be a seperate holiday...but I do think these women should be recognized. Some of my warmest moments have been when an adult child that I helped to raise says "I remember that you were there when my Mom wasn't available"...etc... I've also experienced the pain when a callous woman would say that I wasn't a "Real Woman" since I had never experienced actual childbirth...or I wouldn't know the pain or joy since I had no (living) children of my own...it happens more often than you think. I only bring this up to remind us all that EVERY woman has a story...please appreciate that fact. I think all of you are wonderful!!
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I think Mom's Day (& Dad's Day, for that matter) is a great holiday. I think our parents should be honored every day... But I often think of the "children-less Mothers"...the unsung heros who help to raise other people's children...or women who have lost children due to miscarriage. (I lost my son in-utero) I'm not saying that there should be a seperate holiday...but I do think these women should be recognized. Some of my warmest moments have been when an adult child that I helped to raise says "I remember that you were there when my Mom wasn't available"...etc... I've also experienced the pain when a callous woman would say that I wasn't a "Real Woman" since I had never experienced actual childbirth...or I wouldn't know the pain or joy since I had no (living) children of my own...it happens more often than you think. I only bring this up to remind us all that EVERY woman has a story...please appreciate that fact. Thanks!
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Thanks guys for posting...I knew this thread would be kinda' hard to sell...*shrug*
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Phuque,
You are so absolutely right! There are millions of women & men out there who have not experienced the traditional role of motherhood/fatherhood. But, without those who reach out and help others, especially children, this world would be in sad, sad shape! I lost a set of twins right before Mother's Day 2004 and it was devastating. I remember sitting in church at the Mother's Day service and crying as if my heart would never heal. When I returned to work at the shelter, I had 10 Mother's Day cards from my boys. I realized it may not be my role in life to be a traditional mother, but I was a mom to some pretty special young men, all of which I did not give birth to. I salute ALL women out there, whether they have given birth or not. Because I am sure that they are someone's mom. |
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You know what is ironic is that I have met those that have gave birth that don't deserve to be a mother. And then have met those that could not give birth or just did not want children of their own for different reasons but in it all was more of a mother to the kids around them then their own mother was.
So does one have to give birth in order to touch a child'ss heart or help raise them noooooo. It all comes from the heart. Actually anyone that takes the time with a child should be honored no matter what day it is.
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Thank you, Ladies...
And I do agree about some who really have no business being parents...sad, really. |
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Edited by
CarlHofflander
on
Sat 05/09/09 12:26 PM
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You all rock. Great posts. And good topic Phuque. As for those weirdo religious zealots that never read the texts they pimp so hard, who like to tell you what you are and are not; don't lose too much sleep about what they think. In fact; hock a nice one in their eye for me the next time they try to say you aren't a real women, okay?
If a wolf survived it's whole life on berries and seeds; would these morons say ''Then it wasn't a REAL wolf!'', or if a man believed in abstinence and didn't spread his stupid seed everywhere he could; would they say he isn't a real man? The opinions of numb nutz shouldn't bother an intelligent person like you Phuque. Stand Strong <3 |
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A very deep and thoughtful post Phuque... I'm sorry for you loss but how wonderful you are to fulfill anothers life with the love you have to give... I'm sure it's women like you that gave them the idea for the "like a mom" cards...
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Come mother's day..I will apprecieate you Que....I know how much you contribute to the swarm of your sis' f**k trophies...you are a good mama.
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I attended the community mothers day lunch today. When we planned it we made sure to tell people that it was for all females. Every female is a mom to someone, and I have never seen where it says that means that you have to give birth to be a mom. So in my thoughts all females deserve to be recognized on Mothers day.
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY |
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Edited by
auburngirl
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Sat 05/09/09 01:54 PM
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Thank you for this.
Truly the regret of my life. I suppose you always think you have more time. I have been a care taker, 3 times. Done the messy life stuff, been there to help another's crossing. Maybe that counts. I helped raise the 3 and 5 yr old of an X b/f who had lost their Mommy. I was there when they had a bad dream, got the flu, his first a hat trick and her star in the Christmas pageant. Their memory, unfortunately, will not be of their own Mommy, but of me. Maybe that counts for something too. |
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(((Connie))) that counts as well.. before I had my kids, my siblings used to send me mother's day cards b/c I pretty much raised them...
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{{{{{Joy}}}}}} Thanks for that!
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You're welcome... Phuque and Snuggles said it best.. You don't have to give birth to be a mother, it's what you feel in your heart and what you do for those that need it... I would have loved to have a mother that made us feel loved more than she loved herself.. I didn't but I had a mom and she could have been much worse, so I'm still thankful for what I had, well and extremely thankful for a wonderfully loving grandmother...
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Joy, I understand
My Mother was SUCH a gem in this world. She took care of us, always there when we came in from school, cooked every night, cared for us and my Dad. They were married 2 months shy of 53 years, a priceless treasure anymore. A shining example of marriage, home and hearth. She put us first, always. When my Dad was POW/MIA she was here at home, with an engagement ring on her finger waiting to find out if he was dead or alive. A real Steel Magnolia. Maybe I got my strength from her. That onward and upward, keep on keeping on mentality. Regardless, she gave me boundaries, love, advice, oh SUCHHH sound advice that is time proven. The loss of her, as with the loss of any Mother, is a deep deep cut. It heals, but the scar remains. |
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What a thoughtful post. I too lost a baby through miscarriage so I know how you feel. I never had children after that. I think any woman (especially those who do not have children) who are "care givers" are Mothers. Whether it's other people's kids, the elderly or even pets -- anyone who gives care like a mom is a mom as far as I'm concerned. |
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