Topic: The Silent Treatment....... | |
---|---|
no freaking out allowed in the first 48 hours!! Too late, and I aint there yet!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
I SO have to defer to Vincent's brilliance here. SOME may be off topic, but his stream of consciousness just blew me away! QUOTE: when you're hurtin, you're hurtin. s'ok to hurt. don't get self pity and hurt mixed up. sheer beauty alone can hurt....even to look at, when there's feelings behind that, it's even worse. i'd rather go to war than feel that again. at least with war, i know what i'm up against. it's different today, than the past. everyone has changed. no more snail mail and waiting weeks for a reply to help you through another month of anxious waiting for a cross-country, or overseas lover...forever..... but part of that is passion. passion's different now, and so is marriage....this is a small percentage of pure good. MOST marriages were miserable then,(not all) it's just that most stuck it out, way past the time when they should have left.... now, marriage is a trump card. just like the" i'm the man, and this is how it goes" to, you've upset me, no more sex, and you're on the couch, or out the door, and we might talk later, i'll think about it. i have patience for none of this normal everyday happening, because it seems to be nothing but control now, and getting what they want(both sexes). not the passion of yesteryear, when you wouldn't think of leaving your best friend. "male and female issues" should never even play into it.....what a shame....but it always kinda has. it's just that the real true love with no stipulations is lost forever. it's all boundries now, stipulative boundries. there's always moral boundries, and those should be understood, but are now lost in the shuffle with legal boundries, because true honesty seems to be a dead issue, and justification for one's means has taken over, so it's a sided truth...a point of view, instead of real truth. what a shame!!! only people can change this, and it'll only be individual people that can see this and make the change. i've seen a lot in my very incredibly short life-span, that i hope lasts another ten-twenty-or thirty years, and i'm really worried about how we are relating. it seems that the games and drama that needs not be there, for either self-protection for games, and sheer ego and, or, boredom for drama, that are taking mainstream over HONEST courting. everyone is categorized to feel more comfortable, and it's working. i've never fit into a "category", and people never feel quite comfortable with me, so it doesn't work with me in the least, and i've become merely an "immortal observer" or atleast it feels that way (and i wouldn't trade it for the world) with my infantesimle bit of life experience, i practically know nothing to help another, but it's an honor to try....the more i learn, the less i know, and am humbled at every turn. these reflections, are not advice, merely the observations and gathered facts that "i appear" to see. I'll take WHITE SPACE for $1000 Alex!!!!! |
|
|
|
OMG!!!!!!!! How I dislike the silent treatment!!! The WORST form of punishment in any relationship, boss, parent, partner!! How do you manage it? Or like me, do you just get totally crazy in the head?? The very fact that you used the word punishment above, makes it what it is. It's a form of emotional abuse, and responding to it makes it worse. Not responding to it brings their attention back, BUT just so they can escalate it. I wish you all well in dealing with it, I won't ever be party to it again! And thanks for the post BeachFarmer! |
|
|
|
My ex-wife used to give me the silent treatment... once in a blue moon. I always wished that she'd do it more often, as those were rare occasions when I didn't have to hear her constant nagging...!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I guess I'm the only one who takes some time to step back from the situation before shooting off my mouth?
I wouldn't call it the silent treatment however. I'd call it giving me a chance to compose myself so that I'm not foaming at the mouth while we're discussing the argument. A lot of times things come out of my mouth that I wish I'd had a chance to think about first. Walking away from the confrontation and having a chance to ponder what it is I want to say allows proper and non-rabid thoughts to form. |
|
|
|
OMG!!!!!!!! How I dislike the silent treatment!!! The WORST form of punishment in any relationship, boss, parent, partner!! How do you manage it? Or like me, do you just get totally crazy in the head?? when a woman shuts up for once,i celebrate! |
|
|
|
OMG!!!!!!!! How I dislike the silent treatment!!! The WORST form of punishment in any relationship, boss, parent, partner!! How do you manage it? Or like me, do you just get totally crazy in the head?? when a woman shuts up for once,i celebrate! That's what I'm talkin' about... There's only so much jibber jabber a man can take, for cryin' out sakes! |
|
|
|
Silence is golden, no matter who is doing is the one being silent
|
|
|
|
Silence is golden, no matter who is doing is the one being silent THANK YOU! |
|
|
|
Silence is golden, no matter who is doing is the one being silent {{{bad_girl}}} Good morning, Would you please rephrase that? I don't get it...! |
|
|
|
{{mahanmahan}} Just what it says, no matter who is the one being silent, the silence is golden especially during an argument. I don't mind being silent when necessary, I would rather have silence than an argument
Silence is golden, no matter who is doing is the one being silent {{{bad_girl}}} Good morning, Would you please rephrase that? I don't get it...! |
|
|
|
I guess I'm the only one who takes some time to step back from the situation before shooting off my mouth? I wouldn't call it the silent treatment however. I'd call it giving me a chance to compose myself so that I'm not foaming at the mouth while we're discussing the argument. A lot of times things come out of my mouth that I wish I'd had a chance to think about first. Walking away from the confrontation and having a chance to ponder what it is I want to say allows proper and non-rabid thoughts to form. Paper, I agree with you. Sometimes my emotions get all jumbled and I need to step back and not focus on it. I take it slow, try to work them out and then will be ready to talk. No one can help me get it straight, it's something I need to do alone. I don't consider this punishment, just who I am and how I do things. I guess when I do find someone to date he will have to be understanding of this. I am always honest about my habits, quirks, whatever you want to call them. When given the time and space, I can normally noodle it through. |
|
|
|
i love giving and getting the silent treatment. people who talk too much bore me and give me a headache. they are better off just to shut up. be seeing you
|
|
|
|
Hmmmm women have a word bank of like 5000 words a day to use.... men have about 250....
No wonder all they can do when they get home is grunt... they spent them all at work, and the bar on the way home... Wonder who out of the genders, is better at the silent treatment? What's the record? My Dad did 6 years straight, on the silent treatment with me.... that was a tough one! I got to go to bed, night all!!! T minus 37 hours........and counting.... |
|
|
|
Edited by
Haley1243
on
Sun 04/26/09 06:08 AM
|
|
Pretty much what Audie said. I just play along. But with me it is COMPLETE silence. I will mute a television, turn off a radio, oh and ooops my bed squeaks. Guess who is not sleeping in THAT tonight. Trust me eventually they talk . You and I would so get along! |
|
|
|
Hmmmm women have a word bank of like 5000 words a day to use.... men have about 250.... No wonder all they can do when they get home is grunt... they spent them all at work, and the bar on the way home... Wonder who out of the genders, is better at the silent treatment? What's the record? My Dad did 6 years straight, on the silent treatment with me.... that was a tough one! I got to go to bed, night all!!! T minus 37 hours........and counting.... Just went through the strangest role reversal or I am VERY in touch with my feminine side. |
|
|
|
OMG!!!!!!!! How I dislike the silent treatment!!! The WORST form of punishment in any relationship, boss, parent, partner!! How do you manage it? Or like me, do you just get totally crazy in the head?? |
|
|
|
I'll take WHITE SPACE for $1000 Alex!!!!! Sorry Sherrie...it seems like a shame to edit Vincent's brilliance but I guess the main excerpt would be.. EXERPT: ---------(or for THIS thread "relationships") now, marriage ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ is a trump card. just like the" i'm the man, and this is how it goes" to, you've upset me, no more sex, and you're on the couch, or out the door, and we might talk later, i'll think about it. i have patience for none of this normal everyday happening, because it seems to be nothing but control now, and getting what they want(both sexes). |
|
|
|
I guess I'm the only one who takes some time to step back from the situation before shooting off my mouth? I wouldn't call it the silent treatment however. I'd call it giving me a chance to compose myself so that I'm not foaming at the mouth while we're discussing the argument. A lot of times things come out of my mouth that I wish I'd had a chance to think about first. Walking away from the confrontation and having a chance to ponder what it is I want to say allows proper and non-rabid thoughts to form. Paper, I agree with you. Sometimes my emotions get all jumbled and I need to step back and not focus on it. I take it slow, try to work them out and then will be ready to talk. No one can help me get it straight, it's something I need to do alone. I don't consider this punishment, just who I am and how I do things. Taking time to focus your thoughts, is a good thing. "SILENT TREATMENT" is a childish way of trying to control another person. Gave that up 20 yrs ago. Learned to keep control of me & help others do the same. Have had many FANTASTIC conversations after learning that. Much rather talk things out & handle whatever the problem is. Makes for a much better relationship situation. I guess when I do find someone to date he will have to be understanding of this. I am always honest about my habits, quirks, whatever you want to call them. When given the time and space, I can normally noodle it through. |
|
|