An atheist dies and suddenly finds himself at the foot of the Lord Almighty sitting on a golden throne. He tells the atheist "You may ask me one question" to which the atheist replies "Is this some kind of joke?"

Among the findings of two recent surveys (Baylor University and The Pew Polls) of religious faith, one in five of those who call themselves atheists believe in God or a universal spirit, and the majority of Americans who claim to be atheists are inclined to pray, one-third of them "often." About the same number of atheists profess a belief in Satan, hell and demons.




Atheism...
The realization that a deity of any kind would only further complicated our already limited understanding of the world around us and this without answering anything at all.It has absolutely nothing to do with biogenisis,evolution,dinosaurs,unicorns,or the big bang.

"God does not believe in Atheists,therefore Athesists do not exist".


Atheism...

The belief that there was nothing and nothing happened to nothing and nothing magically exploded for no reason and created everything and then a bunch of everything magically re-arranged itself for no reason what so ever into self replicating bits which turned into dinosaurs.


You MAY Be a Fundamentalist Atheist if....

...you became an atheist when you were 10 years old, based on ideas of God that you learned in Sunday School. Your ideas about God haven't changed since.

...you think Christians are narrow-minded for believing in only one religion, but atheists are open-minded for believing in absolutely none.

...you think the USA government is a theocracy.

...you refer to C.S. Lewis as "that traitor."

...you think George Carlin was the greatest comedian of all time.

...you spend hours arguing that a-theism actually means "without a belief in God " and not just " belief that there is no god" as if this is a meaningful distinction in real life.

..."thinking for yourself" means adopting an atheist viewpoint.

...you believe that nativity scenes should be banned from public view, but that anyone objecting to pornography only has to look the other way.

...you assert that "faith is believing things which you know aren't true".

...you think you descended from apes.

...you get angry if someone implies you're going to a place that you don't think exists.

...you think marriage is an obsolete fundy institution — except for homosexuals.

...you become upset when a Christian says that not everything in the Bible should be taken literally.

...you call a view held by less than ten percent of the American public "common sense".

...you have, at least once, phoned, emailed or written the ACLU.

...you've ever called a Christian a "Paulian".

...you just can't see any difference between Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, James Dobson, etc, and Osama bin Laden.

...your first inclination when purchasing the Darwin fish for your car was the hope of being offensive.

...you use one or more of the following alternate spellings: GOD-"gawd" JESUS-"jeeezus" "jayzus" "jebus" "jeebers" BIBLE-"bibble" "babble" "wholly babble" "buy-bull".

...you insist that science is completely partial to all ideas, is not dogmatic and researches all possibilities.

...you think that if schools teach the Intelligent Design theory of creation, they should also teach the "stork theory" of where babies come from.

...you have any "bible contradictions" website saved in "favorites".

...you insist on capitalizing "atheist".

...you think that "Lord of the Rings" and "Harry Potter" are more believable than the Bible.

...you think if a Christian won't argue when challenged, they are too frightened or can't answer; but if they do address your arguments, you think it's a sign that they are "threatened" by your argument.

...when someone says 'God bless you' when you sneeze, you take it as an open invitation to express your non-belief.

...you have actually calculated the number of people drowned in The Flood you don't believe.

...you feel guilty whenever you use the word faith and have decided to remove it from your vocabulary.

...you think religious tolerance does not include Christianity.
(This partial list was originally compiled by "GakuesiDon" and "Tekton" and various contributors)

Thats hilarious. I can only IMAGINE making my own "you might be a fundy" list. Boy that would be fun.

An atheist dies and suddenly finds himself at the foot of the Lord Almighty sitting on a golden throne. He tells the atheist "You may ask me one question" to which the atheist replies "Is this some kind of joke?"

I think a better question would be, "So, man is made in your image, appearently. So, what does God do with his almighty penis?"



Among the findings of two recent surveys (Baylor University and The Pew Polls) of religious faith, one in five of those who call themselves atheists believe in God or a universal spirit, and the majority of Americans who claim to be atheists are inclined to pray, one-third of them "often." About the same number of atheists profess a belief in Satan, hell and demons.


Where'd you get this? TBN? CBN? I have no "faith" in the validity of the above statement.




"God does not believe in Atheists,therefore Athesists do not exist".


If that were true, then it would prove that God must not exist. Because I can assure you, atheists do indeed exist.



Atheism...

The belief that there was nothing and nothing happened to nothing and nothing magically exploded for no reason and created everything and then a bunch of everything magically re-arranged itself for no reason what so ever into self replicating bits which turned into dinosaurs.

Written, obviously, by someone who has no idea what they're talking about.



You MAY Be a Fundamentalist Atheist if....


...you think Christians are narrow-minded for believing in only one religion, but atheists are open-minded for believing in absolutely none.

And your point is?



...you think the USA government is a theocracy.

Not as yet. But alot "good" christians would love to see it become that.


...you refer to C.S. Lewis as "that traitor."

C.S.Lewis was a great authur and story teller. A little self-delusional, perhaps, but nobody's perfect.


...you think George Carlin was the greatest comedian of all time.

And wasn't he?


...you spend hours arguing that a-theism actually means "without a belief in God " and not just " belief that there is no god" as if this is a meaningful distinction in real life.

Actually, agnostic means "without knowledge"
atheist means "without religion"


..."thinking for yourself" means adopting an atheist viewpoint.

more often than not, this is true.


...you believe that nativity scenes should be banned from public view, but that anyone objecting to pornography only has to look the other way.

Nativity scenes should be banned from governement owned property.
If the government starts displaying and promoting porn, I'd be against that too. Atheists, on the whole, really don't give much of a damn what you display on your private property.


...you assert that "faith is believing things which you know aren't true".

Actually, I'd venture to say most atheists believe that faith is believing in something which is not provable.


...you think you descended from apes.

We did. ...some more recently than others...

...you get angry if someone implies you're going to a place that you don't think exists.

Actually, I find it amusing...in a sad kinda way.


...you think marriage is an obsolete fundy institution — except for homosexuals.

The pairing up of 2 people is a societal construct. It is not natural. It was instituted to insure fathers could be sure their bloodline would continue. However, since it has been the societal "norm" for at least 10000 years or so, it has become what is expected.
I can see no reason why homosexuals shouldn't have the right to be as miserable as the rest of us.



...you become upset when a Christian says that not everything in the Bible should be taken literally.

Incorrect. Atheists believe nothing in the Bible should be taken literally. If a christian says "not everything...", we see that as a good first step for them.



...you call a view held by less than ten percent of the American public "common sense".

1.It has been often said that "common sense is not very common".
2. It was once a common belief that slavery was ok, women were inferior, the Sun went around the Earth, the Earth was flat. Just because a majority of the populace believe something to be true and correct, doesn't make it so.



...you have, at least once, phoned, emailed or written the ACLU.

Yeah, because only atheists could like civil liberties....




...you just can't see any difference between Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, James Dobson, etc, and Osama bin Laden.

excepting for bombs and guns, their tactics are disturbingly similar.


...your first inclination when purchasing the Darwin fish for your car was the hope of being offensive.

Yeah, cause I love it when "good" christians express their outrage by damaging my car....


...you use one or more of the following alternate spellings: GOD-"gawd" JESUS-"jeeezus" "jayzus" "jebus" "jeebers" BIBLE-"bibble" "babble" "wholly babble" "buy-bull".

Wholly babble? never heard of that. I'm gonna start using it now...



...you insist that science is completely partial to all ideas, is not dogmatic and researches all possibilities.

If you understood what science is, you know that this is true.



...you think that if schools teach the Intelligent Design theory of creation, they should also teach the "stork theory" of where babies come from.

Both ARE equally valid.




...you have any "bible contradictions" website saved in "favorites".

No, but I used to have the christian fish origins website saved. I find it quite amusing that the "fish" orginally represented a vagina, a symbol of rebirth. Everytime I see that fish, I want to tell the owner "Hey! I like vaginas too!"



...you insist on capitalizing "atheist".

only at the beginning of a sentence.


...you think that "Lord of the Rings" and "Harry Potter" are more believable than the Bible.

And your point is....?



...you think if a Christian won't argue when challenged, they are too frightened or can't answer; but if they do address your arguments, you think it's a sign that they are "threatened" by your argument.

There are christians who won't argue? I've never heard of such a thing...



...when someone says 'God bless you' when you sneeze, you take it as an open invitation to express your non-belief.

I see no reason to not express my non-belief if they insist on expressing their belief.



...you have actually calculated the number of people drowned in The Flood you don't believe.

..someone musta been really really bored...




...you feel guilty whenever you use the word faith and have decided to remove it from your vocabulary.

Why would we use a word that stands for something we don't have?



...you think religious tolerance does not include Christianity.
(This partial list was originally compiled by "GakuesiDon" and "Tekton" and various contributors)

Incorrect. Christianity, being dominate in the western world, merely gets the most "press".