Just got into a big fight...
I asked my wife If she would drop out of college if I asked her to and she said no. and I didn't want her to I was just asking to see what she would say. I't not fair to me cause I backed out of wrestling and martial arts for her so what should I do or what can I say to her to make her see my point.
Shes a really sweet person she really is but I dunno..
please try to give some great advice.




thanks
artman33

And you want her to drop out of college why?

Divorce

Don't ask questions that you don't want to ready to hear the answer to, #1.

#2, I assume she didnt MAKE you back out of what you were doing, you did it for her.

Obviously I don't know the whole story, but I wouldn't go looking for trouble

well... then why persist and bring it up?



oh yeah, because it actually does matter. it seems that you want that. and if i am wrong, then the subject is best left alone. besides, furthering an education is important - it can lead to higher-paying jobs and management positions. you should support your wife's academic endeavors.

Right on!!!

What kind of marriage is this where you both want to make each other give up things you want to do?

Why did you back out of martial arts and wrestling? Just because you gave things up does not mean you should want to guilt her into giving something up. Frankly, from the little you've said here your relationship sounds very unhealthy.

Don't ask if you truly can't handle the truth.

This is why I will not get married
Fights over stuff like this?

Relationships are supposed to be about nurturing and support not a guilt trip tit for tat.

Divorce the college educated person..............Go find someone that does nothing, but gripe when you go to martial arts class.................

I jsut realized how poorly I worded what I was trying to say, but I'm glad others got what I meant

I agree. Relationships and IOU's don't belong in the same sentence.

You don't understand I don't want her to drop out.
but I just wanted to know if she ever would if I had needed or asked her to or atleast consider it.

thanks

its all about the motivation.

if she wanted you to give up wrestling and martial arts for reasons such as she was concerned about you possibly getting hurt, then that's something i can get behind because her motives were pure and she was genuinely being emotionally affected by it.

but if you would want her to quit college for no other reason than to engage in some petty tit for tat, then i'm sorry but i got to say you're in the wrong on this one.

you just wanted to hear her say she would, but instead she responded honestly (or not how you wanted her to)

Now you know she won't drop out, so that is no longer a concern

That sounds like the games people play.




...and because you gave something up for her, she should do the same?

Did you not choose your actions? You could have said no ...



We are all responsible for our own happiness. To place that burden on another is irresponsible. We have a responsibility to make our own decisions - that yes, include others in the process.

I'm sorry but I have to put this in the basket of silly things to fight about.


I think the biggest mistake she could make would be to drop out of college just because you want her to.

exactly what he said

of all the stuff people have to fight over you have to get in a fight over a hypothetical question that you didnt like the answer?

Again...I dont think the whole story is presented here.

Why did she ask you to quit martial arts?