I've said this many times before. Too many people have become too coddled and complacent with the lie of political correctness, and if somebody offers even a glimmer of, "Pull your head out of your ass!", people get all defensive. Simply put, don't ask questions you don't want the answers to. Grow a backbone and deal with what you NEED to hear, not just what you WANT to hear.

Past experience has taught me not to ask questions that would leave me wide open for criticism.

I don't take what others say to or about me to seriously. I mean I am my own person and at the age of 40 I don't see myself changing any time soon. So let the words fly right over my head. Now if it is a boss expressing how we can change something or do it better then I will always listen and do what I can to make it better.

I do from everyone except for from my parents. When my Dad does it, it breaks my heart. When my Mom does it....well, it just breaks my heart plus a little more.

When it comes to Daddy,even at 54, it still hurts me too,if it is critical answer.As for others,they may teach me something new.I don't ask if I don't want an answer and at times I agree to disagree.

I'm the SNL computer guy..."click here, drag that...MOVE!!!". lol

Seriously, my life is and always has been solving problems. The go to guy. So it's hard to take criticism that isn't constructive. But I didn't get to be the go to guy without listening and learning from others. AS I mellow and my neurons go from racing to pacing, I'm finding it easier to listen to others opinions...before I decide they're wrong.

my mommy told me not to talk to strangers

Geez L., what the heck do you mean by that.
I'm SO NOT defensive!


EDIT: Yah I KNOW...I ended a question with a period...SO!

It puzzles me how so many people think "Give me your opinion" and "Agree with me" mean the same thing.

My dad was an artist and a genius and my best friend. But he was so passive and mellow that he never really criticized me, just gave me advice. Terse little tidbits that you hear now and understand in a flash later. And he never asked me questions when he knew the answer already. Before he died he told me that my family resented me because I used to have so much and I could have "done anything that I wanted to do". (I dropped two two successful computer/engineering companies and took off on my bike for...some years. Just riding.) I told him "Pop, I did". And he understood that immediatley. REALLY understood it. Never said another word about it. The one person in my life that I would listen to, whom I deferred to as my superior (in every way) and he never gave me criticism, only advice. I'd have been a better person had I valued it more than my own ego.

Listen to your folks, your friends and your kids. They love you. And they ain't going to be around forever.

I listen to what they say and if not clear I ask them to clarify... I then take the information and evaluate it if it is a valid point or something I am willing to change I make those steps.

If I feel they were just venting and using me as a sounding board for their frustrations I usually come back at a later time and ask again.


Yes, I can, have, and will again. I believe sometimes seeing yourself through another's eye can be one of the best growing tools there is.


I am not usually a defensive person. It takes quite a bit to get me to that level. When I feel I am starting to get defensive I need a time out to figure out why I am feeling that way.


Great Questions..

I can take it....


But if someone ask me a question, or opinion can they take the answer.

NO

I always say there's nothing wrong with you, that changing yourself completely won't fix.

I am the great debater I will ask for the why's.....why do you feel that way...why do you think that......then a what or two....what can I change to make it better or can I explain to you why I feel/view it this way....

You mean they don't mean the same thing???

I think if you ask someone how they perceive you, and if you are really honest with YOURSELF, you know deep down the answers anyways.

I think you are right.....