In about 2 weeks I'm turning 31 and I'm wondering is it socially acceptable to be 31, a man, never married and no kids? I'm getting this vibe from some people that is a red flag for some women. Here I thought I was being intelligent about the whole marriage and kids thing but now it looks like being smart isn't hip.

It is hip to me at least. Some people are so used to having children right out of high school they think that is the norm. I am glad that you haven't been married and don't have children that just shows that you were responsible. I just hope you aren't still living at home.

31 and no attachments is definitely good, if and when you are living on your own.

Nope I moved out when I was 16 and besides a short period where I had to live with my mom due to a bad car accident(19) I been on my own since.

You're fine for 7-9 years, IMO.

I find it a red flag if men are older, but not your age.

So I still have a few years to close on a deal. Whew. :-p Is there a stigma, in your opinion, of a man who doesn't or chooses not to have kids. Outside of say your own feelings as I see your a mom.

No, choosing not to have kids is no big deal. Neither is not being married.

But what does me concern is the fact that a person has not committed to a relationship. If, for example, you got engaged and it ended due to illness, death, cheating on her part... well then I would understand. But a 38 year-old man (or older) with no marriage and no kids just makes me think, uh oh... commitment phobe. Or worse...

I have no problem with commitment but the women I seem to be attracted to do. lol I am beginning to see why some men run from it. It's a crappy, painful mess to clean up afterwords.

age is just a number.....

I feel the same way about my age, although I just turned 30 and was in a relationship lasting 8yrs (no kids and never been married), I can't help but think times have changed since the last time I was single. A red flag may not be the same color as it was years ago.

Lilith401 is right, you got 7-9 good years left. Unfortunately, I'm in her RED FLAG zone.

People sure are living in fear of themselves. All this talk about red flags in what is supposed to the melting pot is very sad. Never been married and don't have kids and don't plan to tuck my tail and run because someone else doesn't approve...

Dude... This is a record, you went back 4yrs to get this thread!

Yeah, but the shallow nature of some folks'thinking hasn't changed much in 4 yrs. You just proved that there is life on PLANET MINGLE!

lol well i guess that means im a major red flag , though i have my reasons for why im 41 and have neither but there not bad ones. and i think its kind of a taboo more than anything because i have seen several guys way older than most of here have a good relationship and then get married and even have a kid . but i think personally that having a relation ship or not after a certain age does not define who you are as a person good or bed.

I had my first son at age 26, he is grown up and has given me 2 grandchildren, I moved far away from them now, they all remain In Australia, I moved back to Canada, my 2 sons are 24 and 22, its my 24 year old that has 2 children, It is the norm to have children between 20 and 35, this way you have a great retirement with grandchildren

my friend is now 49 with 2 children 2 and 3 years old, he will be 67 when his oldest will be 20, to late in the game and he wont see his grandchildren grow, on the other hand, I am 50 and my grandchildren will be 18 and 20 when i am 70, I may see great grandchildren

I love being single at my age now,it all depends what your looking for
ages in a family structure, children knowing grandparents or not knowing them at all.

I say,to each their own!

Am 35,and I have neither-and am still not rushing in for either..and am not ashamed of it!!

I don't want to do or get entagled in anything I'll regret later!

I am 38 and I have no kids and never been married. It is better to wait to have kids then to,have them with anybody!

Am with you on this one!!

True that you shouldn't just hook up with someone for the sake of being in a relationship etc.
But I must admit that if I see a man in his forties, never been married, no children, that I feel less inclined to reply or get in touch with him. Sort of like "is there something wrong with him?" There must be a reason why no one wanted him, why he never found a partner?
And yes, I know that maybe he did have a partner, but just didn't never got married.
And maybe he just never met the right one, or he didn't want to get hooked. But still, if someone that has never been in a LTR getting involved at the age of 40+, think that won't be easy as they never really learned the ropes of being in a relationship, sharing, compromising etc etc.

But at age 31, I wouldn't worry. And if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. Simple as that.