That's very true, being married or not married is not a precursor for that happening.

Marriage is one of the bigger catalysts for making it much easier though

Family values, especially the ones around married family values are eroding at a rapid rate.

Why does a marriage even need someone else to recognize it other than the two getting into it?


Isn't marriage honestly as simple as two people finally making up their minds they are going to face life together as a family or do they come into it out of self interest?

How many super opulent marriages last over two years? How many celebrity marriages last more than two years if at all?

People destroy everything around them and that is one thing about humans that bugs the snot out of me. Marriage once was a good thing but now it is just a commercial tool these days. Without it there would be a lot of out of work lawyers, churches, wedding planners, clothing stores (high end), specialty stores, caterers, etc..

Everything and anything to squeeze you for a dollar!

I believe in marriage but I dont believe the government should invade our lives because of it.......and they do!!

That's the answer to your question plain and simple, from over priced wedding gowns to 5 carat rings.

I believe my gf and I have found a simple solution. In a few years a VERY private ceremony. Just us, no preacher, no contracts, just two people expressing our love for one another! Besides who needs all of that other stuff?

Marriage is outdated in its present form of a lifetime contract. Most of these contracts are broken within the first five years. I would propose they be written up as five-year renewable contracts with provisions for couple specific requirements (for example a no headache clause or a lipstick on the dipstick clause).

You don't need a contract to spend the rest of your life with somebody.

But in a civilized social system you do need some degree of accountability. At least when it comes to things like power of attourney, insurance, etc...

I don't know where all this talk about marriage just being a tool the government uses to squeeze as much money out of you as possible. The only person who ever squeezed any cash out of me was my ex-wife.

I will probably shock some people but the idea of marriage is starting to loose it's appeal to me now that I am nearingthe double nickle.

Especially with the court system copping out on what would be justice for those marriages that fail for cause or when one member is more dependent with the community property/no fault divorces. It seems particularly unfair that one partner can commit adultry, become abusive or addicted, commit a crime and be incarcerated for example and still walk away with half.

It is one thing when you are young and don't come to marriage with skills or possessions that the other has no investment in. Or hopefully no children. Or usually dependent parents. That isn't usually the case as people get older.

If I were men I would get the law changed that says any child that is concieved during the marriage is his to support wheather it's his or not. That seems patently unfair.

Also unfair is that a guy can go out and make as many children as he wants on the side and basiclly impoverish himself makeing himself useless to his wife and her children as a provider.

Or that either partner can, sometimes is forced to, take custody of minor age children they might or might know they had when they married. Children that come in with huge problems that may or may not be so easy to live with. To get divorced you give up half.

True some of these things can be avoided with a prenuptual agreement which I strongly recommend but most people don't think ahead or really know all that much about the people they marry.

I am not going to debate all the religious stuff because that isn't required unless it is a big deal to the people involved.

What a lot of people don't seem to know is how marriage effects a persons rights to make decisions about their spouse in the event of injury/illness.

Without marriage the next of kin, usually parents, or children, sometimes siblings can come in and fight you for stuff and can shut you out as a live in spouse. If you have bought anything together, and you can't document it they can say it is theirs and there is not a lot you can do about it. All they have to do is get someone to say that your partner is incompetent. Say like after a car accident, while you might be in the hospital yourself, you could loose just about everything. Especially pets or children if you have them.

There are a lot of financial incentives to marriage; insurance, credit, inheritance, educational and employment perks as a spouse. Lots of tax and property rights.

The big deal about being married is the respect people give you to do things for or as a spouse. Pay bills, contract for repairs, make reservations, drive their car, pick up their kids, drive into secured areas to give them a ride. Not to mention the status of saying wait until I talk this over with my spouse.

I don't know everyone would think it is so fair but at least if you do get sick or in a financial jam half of the debt is thiers.

I can only speak for myself...I have been married 3 times...Ok, so they didn't work out..but I had every intention of it working..I just didn't get any backing...

I believe in marriage, not for the governments sake, but from my heart.

It was never for what I could acquire in anyway, it was from the heart..

I would like to say, it makes it harder to leave a marriage, but in reality, it doesn't...just a screw up, and the papers can be written up by oneself.

Both people have to be commited to the relationship...can't be 1-sided

It actually, takes 2 people, that are committed.
If thats not there, then it won't work....

A piece of paper does not a commitment make. A commitment is an agreement between two people who love each other and want to live as "Man and wife" but living as such does not need a piece of paper for the state saying that they are such.

To marry you require a license. The definition of license is: Official or legal permission to do or own a specified thing. Which does marriage qualify as? Doing something or owning something?

We need the governments permission to love someone "til death do us part"?

I believe in commitment but I don't believe that it is necessary to marry to commit.

No, a piece of paper does not make a commitment. Then again neither do empty words. Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

As for licenses, that must be a state thing. I got married in Alaska and I did not need a permit.

As I have stated, a "piece of paper" is not needed for a lifetime commitment. It is needed for power of attourney and other legal issues. Until we go to an anarchistic government paper trails will always be a neccessary evil.

It is my opinion that you do not need the government for a commited lifetime commitment -a marriage- but you DO need something in ink for the modern world we live in.

i dont agree at all with you peccy.

i mean marriage is what you make of it.

its no joke, not something to be taken lightly. maybe i was raised old fashioned about marriage but i grew up in a world with only one parent.

my mom married my dad when everything was against them because of their massive cultural differences.

and when he died... my mother's world fell apart. love did that. not marriage. just like if your love fails.. its not the marriage... its you.

my mom.. to this day... loves my dad.

its sad that she never found another ... but she tells me that she lucked out finding the one man who made her life complete.

and she wishes that i find the same. and i do too.

marriage may or may not happen for me. but i do know this... its a beautiful way to tell someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. it DOESN'T HAVE TO BE DONE. but its a wonderful way to show the world.
besides...

what are you so afraid of?

To (roughly) quote Gene Simmons of KISS fame-

"Marriage is nothing more than a financial contract between two people that only benefits the female in the relationship."

yeah.. take love advice from a guy who willingly paints his face like a geisha, wears hooker boots to work and sticks his tongue out at people like a freakin salamander.

HAH!

Hey... I never said I AGREED with what he said... I only quoted what he said! There's a big difference!