it's possibleto have one without one of you getting emotionally attached in some form or fashion?

As long as the both of you are aware of the nature of the FWB relationship, there shouldn't be any problem. The only way an FWB can go askew is if one party isn't certain on what he/she is there for.

Not possible for me, but that is just me. Suppose it can work for two people who have the understanding that it won't go any further, but doubtful.

Speaking for myself, too many emotions tend to get involved when I become intimate with someone. Like Fear said, it may be possible, but I doubt it.

Well it is possible and a proven fact that for some it works out great for them.


But.......is it something that in fact would work for me?

No, I could not keep my emotional feelings from in fact getting in the way.

Cannot do it. I will get emotionally involved. Know from experience. So I don't understand why people can do it. I've decided that I wouldn't want to be with a person that can do FWB. I don't want to be with anyone that finds it that easy to be detached and not make the emotional connections.

It's possible but it depends entirely on the people involved.
I myself would never be able to do it, but at the same time I know quite a few people that would be perfectly capable of having a relationship like that. Heck, I have friends who have had relationships like that...

This is my view on the topic. The basis of the FWB issue is seperated into two sides. One is willing to and doesn't mind a 'call of duty' here and there while the other is still in hopes of 'There still may be a chance of a relationship out of this should I be available at the right time and place'.

Yes

that's all i can do, for i travel wayy too much for a steady thing. i'm just mr. midnight, until mr. wrong or right comes along. it's usually mr. wrong, for they used to call me after they broke up...but it's been 11 years since those times, and 8 years since i've touched a human.


also.....i love my lover friends dearly, but they know what's clear.

Yeah, same here. I have to have at least some emotional connection with the person I'm with- I can't have relations in a mindless, non-emotionally involved manner like that.

So FWBs would probably be out of the question for me.

word

It's impossible to make a determination when one cannot even get one to find out.

it is very possible to have sex without love
but the more intimate time you spend with someone
well, the more intimate the relationship becomes

there are several studies...see for example:

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/11/03/friends-with-benefits/

party on, wayne!...

this community service announcement sponsored by
s1owhand and the internet...

There is nothing friendly about someone getting the short end of the deal and never seen it work out any other way.

Not for me.

here's what i wrote previously on my understanding of FWB

i've never wanted it. FWB is someone you like,
but you are not in love with. they agree to treat
you with respect but to not love you. you both
agree to have sex for the sake of a biological but
unemotional experience repeatedly.

this reduces sex to masturbation. mutual masturbation
but with the unnatural and unsatisfying promise of
emotional uninvolvement.

there is a school of thought that this is better
than going solo all the time. but not for me. the
whole experience is essentially hollow. even more
empty that fantasies. because it involves another
person. another person who is committed to going
nowhere.

that is what i understand. that is why i always
avoided it. i crave the emotional experience.

what is lovemaking with out the love? it is kind touch.
but the necessary agreement that it go no further
removes essentially all the real excitement.

I have a very dear friend with whom I've been a FWB for almost 5 years now. We are there for each other when the need arises and we bow out in respect of the other person if one or the other becomes involved in a relationship.

We began in a "no strings" agreed relationship and it just developed into a FWB. We each had too many complications in our lives at the time, so it became simply a booty call when it was convenient for both of us. We did not talk about each other's lives or troubles, etc.. We simply got together and we would begin by talking and laughing hysterically about life in general and then we would have the hottest, most fulfilling "sex" imaginable. We never spent the night together and would hug and go home very soon afterward. We never got involved in each other's lives. If one or the other became involved in a relationship, the other would bow out and we would have no contact - in respect of the other's relationship. But we were there for each other if one needed to talk or if the relationship ended. So we were never cheating while in a relationship.

We have grown closer over the years and we "look out" for one another. But we keep our distance and understand the limits. We have a love for each other, but it doesn't include the affection that would normally be part of a love relationship. Much of that has to do with his Autism and not liking to be touched or kissed outside of sex. So perhaps that is why it works for us.

With his health failing, we have not had the sex benefits in the last year. But he's been a good friend and confidante... so that is another benefit. I do admit that there have been times when I wondered why it can't go further when we have all the other pieces to the puzzle. But I also realize I'd rather not have the final pieces of the puzzle, if it meant losing him as a friend. I personally, thrive in an affectionate relationship, so it was awkward at first for me. But since the affection was not a part of it, perhaps that is why I was able to avoid getting emotionally involved. I yearn for the hugs and the kisses and the passion of making love. It was simply not part of our agreement. But it has never been "mindless" or "emotionless". We just kept our emotions in check so as not to expect more than the other could give.

I don't think it would normally be an easy thing to do, it just worked out that way for us. It has been a great stress release for each of us - moments away from the realities and hard knocks of life, so-to-speak. But it does take discipline and a commitment to the agreement of "no strings".

IMO - I am too loyal and caring to have just a FWB. It kills me when the people I care about are hurting - I want to try and make things better for them. If I had an intimate relationship and it was with NSA, it would eat me alive to just stand by and not be able to help them because I am not intimate in the other parts of their lives (what they like/dislike, need/don't need, choices they make, etc.).

That's exactly how that works!