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Topic: Met on mingles
jsq's photo
Tue 02/10/09 10:35 PM
I met girl from here. Have been dating for about 3 months now, but only actually spent 4 weekends together because she is a couple hrs away. Talk on phone several times a day. I have told her how much i like her and that i would like to be in a relationship(which prob shouldn't of done, she says that she isn't ready to be in relatiohship. But she calls everyday and wants me to come see her. Im confused by her what do u thinks up?

IndnPrncs's photo
Tue 02/10/09 10:37 PM
Sounds to me like she cares about you but wants to take things slow... I'm the same way with the guy I'm seeing.. He calls me girlfriend and says he's in a relationship... I say we're seeing each other and do not use relationship or boyfriend/girlfriend...

JustAGuy2112's photo
Tue 02/10/09 10:37 PM
You are currently the friend providing the benefits.

FallinAngel82's photo
Tue 02/10/09 10:38 PM
well either she's just not ready for a serious relationship and likes how things are right now, or she's scared of getting hurt ,

best thing would be to talk to her about how you feel and see what she says ,

jsq's photo
Tue 02/10/09 10:42 PM
yeah i have talked to her about it. She says she has been mistreated by guys in past and thinks im going to change. i just feel like she is waiting for someone better to come along,but not sure.

EtherealEmbers's photo
Tue 02/10/09 10:43 PM

You are currently the friend providing the benefits.


bingo!

jsq's photo
Tue 02/10/09 10:44 PM
lol yeah she is getting free dates, dinners, and sex so maybe that is it

EtherealEmbers's photo
Tue 02/10/09 10:45 PM
yeah, cut out the dates, dinners, and sex and see if she still wants to hang around

italio69's photo
Tue 02/10/09 10:46 PM

I met girl from here. Have been dating for about 3 months now, but only actually spent 4 weekends together because she is a couple hrs away. Talk on phone several times a day. I have told her how much i like her and that i would like to be in a relationship(which prob shouldn't of done, she says that she isn't ready to be in relatiohship. But she calls everyday and wants me to come see her. Im confused by her what do u thinks up?
i went thru the same as you, all it is is friends with benefits and nothing more .

jsq's photo
Tue 02/10/09 10:47 PM
yeah she wants me to come for valentines day and i want to go but am trying to find a way to say no without pissing her off.

1Magnum's photo
Tue 02/10/09 10:47 PM
I also used to date a girl that lived 2 hours away. The important thing is that this girl obviously likes you and you have let her know how you feel. Remember that women don't usually jump into things as quickly, as they are often more gaurded with their feelings.

Now that she knows how you feel, I would suggest that you now just let things naturally progress. Like you said "you've only actually spent 4 weekends together". Be patient and good things will come!

PacificStar48's photo
Tue 02/10/09 10:48 PM
She might still be thinking how things work with the kids involved. Takeing on and instant family of four would give me some butterflys.

Being a step parent makes a guy a hero but too often for women you are the wicked step-mother no matter how great you are.

PacificStar48's photo
Tue 02/10/09 10:49 PM

yeah i have talked to her about it. She says she has been mistreated by guys in past and thinks im going to change. i just feel like she is waiting for someone better to come along,but not sure.


Always tell people trust your instincts.

jsq's photo
Tue 02/10/09 10:50 PM
she has two kids as well. she has talked about me meeting them but just never really happens.

Winx's photo
Tue 02/10/09 10:51 PM

You are currently the friend providing the benefits.


But..they talk on the phone several times a day.

jsq's photo
Tue 02/10/09 10:52 PM
yeah she calls me like 4 times a day. i rarely call her

EtherealEmbers's photo
Tue 02/10/09 10:52 PM
If you've only had 4 dates and you're already having sex but she "wants to take it slow and isn't ready for a boyfriend" then she's either just addicted to your awesomeness and doesn't want to admit it, or she only wants to use you.

Either way, I've done the drive for 2.5 hrs to see someone every weekend. It lasted for a couple months, and never once did the guy drive to see me. When I realized it was completely one-sided, I ended it. If there isn't 50/50 in a relationship (or 100/100 as some people would say), then it's just not worth it.

Citizen_Joe's photo
Tue 02/10/09 10:55 PM

I met girl from here. Have been dating for about 3 months now, but only actually spent 4 weekends together because she is a couple hrs away. Talk on phone several times a day. I have told her how much i like her and that i would like to be in a relationship(which prob shouldn't of done, she says that she isn't ready to be in relatiohship. But she calls everyday and wants me to come see her. Im confused by her what do u thinks up?


Sounds like she wants an emotional tampon.

jsq's photo
Tue 02/10/09 10:56 PM
yeah its no fun being a tampon lol

PacificStar48's photo
Tue 02/10/09 11:01 PM

yeah she wants me to come for valentines day and i want to go but am trying to find a way to say no without pissing her off.


I think if you are having sex with this woman you should be spending at least some of Valentines with her or ended it by now. As a parent I generally think it is important to spend time with your family but Valentines is suppose to be a romantic holiday like an anniversary or their personal birthday.

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