CreativeSoul...just because you take a more logical approach ...

and Jeannie takes a more feeling approach ....

doesn't make either one of you right or wrong....

NOr does it mean that something is wrong with either one of you !!!


YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY FINE , CREATIVESOUL.


AND JEANNIE IS ALSO FINE.

What appears to be causing the LACK of communiation between you two ,

is this:

YOU BOTH THINK DIFFERENTLY!!

THAT'S IT!!!


http://www.marriagemissions.com/logical-vs-feeling-approach-marriage-message-247/

And btw....

another MAJOR cause of Miscommunication and Misunderstanding

between 2 people .....


is NOT taking time to understand each other's different

TEMPERAMENTS !!.

MorningSong...

Everything is not just a matter of perspective when it comes to making personal claims about another. Personal reality does not perfectly correspond to actuality. The underlying problem here still has not been recognized by the dialogue shared.


judgement...

not if, but how one does so... the means by which an assessment is made must match the resources available.

Thank you for your kindness...

MorningSong...

In an attempt to place it in a way you can relate...

If someone were to repeatedly call you a devil-worshipper in spite of all effort to reasonably persuade them that they are mistaken in making that claim, how many different times or ways would you continue to approach the situation?

Have you read through this thread?

Creative,
Is that really the way you perceive my attempts to communicate and express my self to you on a personal level? You feel I am attacking your character and calling you names? That is certainly not what I am trying to do.

Yet I have wondered why you are so defensive of your character and why you do your level best to try to communicate with others on an "impersonal" level. (I suspect it is because you take things too personally and you are trying to correct that problem.)

My impressions of you are not a reflection on you. They are simply meant as feedback to you, so that you might know how I am effected by you. It is really not about you at all. It is about making a connection and finding a common ground. (My opinions are not the least bit important anyway, I am a faceless unknown person as far as you are concerned.)

I take back everything I ever said to you and about you. I am obviously delusional and presumptuous and completely mistaken in my impressions of you since you doth protest so much. I know if I got to know you I would like you, but if you want to keep it impersonal then that is what I will do hence forth. I apologize if I have upset or hurt or offended you in anyway.

Jeannie?

Listen up my friend !!!!!!

I love you but I am gonna tell it straight as an arrow to you:

I See NONE of the things in CreativeSoul.....

that you have been PRESUMING about

CreativeSoul .....for OVER A YEAR NOW!!!!!

NOT ONE IOTA of TRUTH in your ASSUMPTIONS about him!!!!!!

NOT ONE!!!!!!

YOU are the one who PRESUMES things about him,

SIMPLY BECAUSE HE DOESN'T THINK LIKE YOU .

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH CREATIVE SOUL !!!

CAPEECH?????!!!!!

(and btw..... what you have been doing to Creative Soul is

called character assasination...and needs to STOP!!!

Especially when all this crap you PRESUME about him ,is just all

in your own mind...and NOT TRUE whatsoever.

I am a pretty good judge of character!!!!!

Creative Soul is FINE!!!

Once more..I see NONE of these things you have PRESUMED about

him on this forum, to be true !!!

NOT ONE!!!

He just thinks differently from you( logical versus feeling

approach ) , that's all !!)

Since I don't "know" Creative Soul, I don't know if there is anything wrong with him.

You are probably right. There is "nothing wrong with him." But I don't know anything about him. (I have been reading his posts for about two years, and I still don't 'know' him.)

All I know is how I 'feel' towards him when I read his posts.

The problem is obviously mine to sort out, not his, since every 'problem' is a personal problem.

So I am just going to forget about it. I don't need it. He is probably a very happy well adjusted, wonderful person for all I know. If so, I am very happy for him, I hope he has a nice life.

I hereby have no opinion of him at all.

I suggest that you DO sort out your personal

problem ,Jeannie....

and NOT make any further PRESUMPTIONS about CreativeSoul here.

Also study up on how people think

differently.:

if two, each think the other is mistaken, then what actually make the breech of understanding to occur, cannot be seen???

it is the same in theory as hitting a wall with the fist, and thinking the wall was incorrect in what it gave back self???

not the same???

only if one first believe self is more correct than another???

only if one first bias all things towards self favor, of course, the natural inclination of humanness, lol...

totall common and natural, and i for one do not see it as some great bad or evil thing!!!

the one who deems the other's words as totally true, in all aspects, see's into the heart of another, and see's what made the "percieved incorrectness" come to be???

what is true???

what is real???

what each one see is real to itself, and it is only when one deem what another say, as not having good merit, that hide the obvious???

the mind actually has to come to deem "other's" words as more valuable than one's own, to break this habit of natural human order, as the brain, if using this for sometime, fire the synapse in the same way over and over, and the logic is held captive then as a dog tied to a leash, in a repeated pattern that is damn hard to see, since self is in self???

it is simply inconsistent reasoning, thinking all one's own words, are true, but, when it comes to hearing another's, each word is heard, looking to see how it is "not true", so how they are not true is redily seen, but in just the same way, if one peer with the same intentful purpose, it used to prove words false, and instead try to prove them as true, indeed a great effort needed at first, then all is revealed, that create but veils between people???

if self prove other's words as "false", then to stay consistent, which be the only greater logic available, a constant, a "never changing" logic method, then it likewise must always try to prove it's own words as false as possible???

or, if self wish prove it's own words true, then to maintain consistent logic, it must prove other's words as true as well, in all cases, or the reasoning is broken down to inconsistent, or not "constant" logic???

this is the only thing to create all **** in the world.

a tall statement, but it is indeed true, or i am not real, lol...

the only thing that show more, in all things, is what is a "constant", applied equally and evenly to all things taken into the mind???

other's speak false, then false for self as well???

self deem itself speak truth, then truth must be given for other's as well???

it cannot be different for self than it is for all other things outside of self???

except of course, when self find what think as itself, which throw more into the mix, and just make the simple harder to see, lol...

it is a paradox of the mind no doubt, but if one look into the universe and in all things of nature, which self operate in all the same ways, the same principles apply???

it is redily apparent, that the self pop into the world, and the drive as need to protect and defend itself create such logic in the beginning, but no doubt no greater logic, can ever be birthed until the actual workings of the brain are looked into, without fear of self or anything else, which indeed give creedence to why a human can come to fear many words in time, and in doing so, deny many of them, and so give the words power to control self, as once the first word of another is denied as true, then self has just made self have to defend against this "forever" in the mind???

ok...

i'll shut up, lol...

peace guys...

your both are totally awesome by the way, and all i see is two over here learning from what is not like itself, which in reality, is the only thing a human brain can learn from, as what can be learned from what is like self, as this self already know and is, lol???

this indeed intertwine with the very crucial thing about free speech being so critical and element, even in maintaining sanity, and accepting all speech as true, even if it cannot be seen at first how it is, works the same, as if one actually believe it, and just ask self, how other's words are indeed true, then self will show and tell self how the words are true, even though it is not missed, such things as this, make many a feet run from itself, but to face into the mirror, break the mirror, that pain the heart.

peace to peace

Dear Morning song thank you for the uneeded advice, but I don't have a problem anymore. My problem has been resolved. I have moved on to other things. As I said before, some things are just best left alone.

P.S. everybody presumes things. I presume you are a human being, warm and personable. And you certainly reflect that in your posts.

CREATIVESOUL TAKES THE MORE "LOGICAL APPROACH" IN HIS THINKING PROCESS...

WHILE YOU AND I ,FOR INSTANCE, TAKE THE MORE "FEELING APPROACH" IN OUR THINKING PROCESS.


BUT
THAT DOESN'T MEAN LOGICAL THINKERS DON'T HAVE FEELINGS....

ARE DON'T CARE....THEY DO !!!

LOGICAL THINKERS JUST PROCESS THINGS DIFFERENTLY FROM FEELING

THINKERS.....THAT'S IT.....

BUT ARE JUST AS CARING AND JUST AS HUMAN AS THE REST OF US!!!

I don't see him as logical at all. He lets his emotions get in the way of his logic and he takes offense at things that are not meant to be offensive. Anyway he is who he is and I will leave it at that.

Here we go again:

MORE PRESUMPTIONS on YOUR part.

AND Once more.... I don't see what you just now PRESUMED about CreativeSoul , to be True about him.... at all !!!

Time to STOP this PRESUMING!!!

Listen up morning song. These are NOT presumptions. He clearly is who he is. AND.. He has CLEARLY taken offense by my dialogue. He has even accused me of slander. I have not slandered him!

Now you think you are some kind of peacemaker? Time to butt out. I will presume any damn thing I please about anyone I please. I do have freedom of my thoughts and presumptions.

I also have the freedom to be honest about how I feel. If he or you can't handle the truth about how I feel about how he communicates to me in an insulting manner, I invite you to stop reading these posts.

What you have said about him is also a "presumption." You have no right to tell me to stop presuming and he has no right to accused me of slander or tell me to shut up! If he is so sure I have 'slandered' him and ruined his reputation I invite him to sue me.

Now you are getting a little too bossy and preachy for my tastes. I will not take it from you or him.

I was just trying to get to know him. He does not want that. He apparently wants to be the impersonal director of the conversation as he clearly admitted. That is what a psychoanalyst does.



Of course you don't see it. I didn't expect that you did. I don't much care if you see it or not.

I was finished with this thread until you lit the fire again. Let it go.

The thing I see here is this :


The problem lies within you , Jeannie.

Not CreativeSoul.

With that, I close .

Here is an example of what I am talking about and why I say that Creative is not only not logical, he is not even reasonable.



In the above post, Creative tries to make it look like I contradicted myself about freedom of speech.

He implies that I "can't make up my mind" He said he wonders whether or not I know what I think most of the time. He is trying his best to make me look bad and discredit me and my statements like a lawyer cross examining a witness. He is often very condescending. These kinds of things do not go unnoticed or unfelt by me.

This is "impersonal dialogue??" No it is not. It is very emotional and it attempts to degrade me and twist and confuse the issue.

(And you, Morningsong find this endearing? You find him logical and reasonable? You don't see what he is doing?)

He apparently either does not understand what I was saying or he truly does not realize that if you own a newspaper you are the person or entity that controls what is printed in it.

If you own a dating club or run a forum you are the one who has the right and the power to make rules and restrict people from using certain words.

If the owners of this dating club wanted to delete this entire thread they have the right to do so. That is not a violation of freedom of speech. That is their right. It is their club.

If someone is in your house you have a right to ask them to leave if you don't like their language or even if you just don't like them, because they don't have the right to be there unless you give them permission. This has NOTHING to do with 'freedom of speech.'

If you want to publish your opinion on the Internet you need to get your own web site. If you want to exercise freedom of speech in print, you may have to print up fliers or buy yourself a newspaper.

If someone prevents you from doing that, then you have been deprived of your freedom of speech. But if a newspaper owned by Joe Blow refuses to print your letter to the editor, he has every right to do so. It is his paper.

I have NOT contradicted myself.

**These are the kinds of communications I am talking about. Creative does not use logic. He is not even reasonable. It is all right there in his post. He either does it on purpose to confuse the issue, or else he is just confused himself or does not know what freedom of speech in a country is all about.

Then you need to look a little deeper Morningsong. You are presuming things about me now.

All I know is that if Jeannie and Creative continue to freely post to each other I'm going to start wearing eye plugs.

I want to say that I have never intentionally started a fight in my life, but quite a few have happened as a result from another not heeding a nice warning, or several for that matter. Not everyone, including myself, turns the other cheek.

I have found that there are some people who seem as though to get some false sense of security within their mind that they 'win' (whatever battle rests in their mind) if the another is more subdued and does not defend themselves in every instance. With a person such as this, I wonder if they are done a disservice by not speaking out sooner. Who knows if it would make any difference, therefore, I do my best to consciously take the more peaceful approach first.

There are those who never truly get beyond anything traumatic, but instead hide them selves from it in quite peculiar ways. I have known someone who as a child, for several years without any control whatsoever, lived through such a terrifying and demoralizing experience that they unconsciously created alter-egos or personalities - each with it's own conscious. In this way, they could handle the situation that they were being forced to live through day in and day out without suffering a 'complete' mental breakdown, which would have been inevitable if only one 'mind' had to handle it all. Later in life it caused major problems in many ways, but they remained in 'control'...

There are those who, through no 'fault' of their own, were misplaced early enough in life that they had already established a personality along with very strong language and critical thinking skills, however, the environment in which they were brought up had none of these mental strengths. It was a 'normal' lower-middle class home with racist and extremely bigoted overtones. This person had a unique ability to make friends with all kinds in spite of the parents' personality traits.

There are some people who, for whatever reason, seem as though they yearn to be fighting. Hurt inside throughout they continue to go as far as to follow the other person around rather than allowing them to leave. Hidden feelings of hurtfulness and betrayal follow one for the rest of their life, should they not come to terms with the source. The original source is usually not the one who is suffering along with the person though.

There are some who over and over again will forgive one who has betrayed them as a result of self-doubt and reliance or dependency upon the other person. Commitment is a virtue to those who are like this... at least in their mind it is. Suffering through another's actions and words repeatedly for the sake of the commitment itself... for the sake of the who is the cause...

There are those who can and did voluntarily suffer for another... knowingly. Meaning they were aware of it, yet chose to do it anyway so the other would not have to suffer the consequences of their own actions...

These are people who I know, and I care deeply about. I know some without trauma as well...

My point in this is this...

I am not sure, nor do I care to know why you think what you do about me, yet you have made personal remarks directly about me in every conversation that I can remember being in with you.

If you truly knew...

I could probably fill an entire page with the personal condescending remarks from you towards me, and yet you complain??? If you want to write about the fact that you disagree what I write, then you have every opportunity to qoute me and then refute it. One has the ability to pull up old threads. If you truly care to look, then you will find that I only followed your lead. I am a reactive person, as are we all, but I do not take things personally unless they are written about my person. If you cannot separate the author from the writing, then I suggest that you should not join in the discussion with me. That is my right. If you insist upon expressing your opinions regarding my personality/character/integrity or whatever you want to call it, then expect to get hit where it hurts, unexpectedly. And believe me, I will be able to prove what I say.

Unlike you think... I feel much more than you know

That is the point!!! Please heed it.

Respectfully...

I have read through this and I will give my opinion, whether warranted or not. I saw the misunderstandings but I also saw more "you" statements being made by one party over the other. When someone makes "you" statements instead of "I see, I feel, I understand, etc..." it does make it appear as an accusation.

This is a common form of miscommunication that counselors actually try to train people to stop first in their sessions so that communication can be more effective.

I hope this helps, I am offering it as just information, not antagonistic.