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Topic: Mean an abusive people
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Wed 02/04/09 03:40 AM

I was about 2 say that. when children r involved it makes me even more upset because of wat it does to themrant


Absolutely.....

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Wed 02/04/09 03:43 AM


And wat i dont get is y the girl wont leave him! even after she gets beat up several times. i dont understand. if it was me id b getting away from that sh!t frustrated


Where would they go? Their parents don't want them, the siblings are often no better off? Many would have to leave behind a child or have to take the kids to shelters that are always over full. Many of the sleeping shelters have no bath facilities. With the "anti homeless laws" it is not like you can get off the street once you are on. What beds do exist are used for the sick and dying. Most publiccly funded hospitals are closed and unless a peson is in imminent risk of dying they don't have to let them in the ones that are left. Many don't have high school diploma or a car or a job.


Though I never had to go to shelter...I still donate weekly...and have for years...because..I see a real need for that..people,,,,men, women, and children, need a safe-haven..

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Wed 02/04/09 03:51 AM
I donate too. at least 50 dollars a month. they need that money more then i do 4 sure

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Wed 02/04/09 03:59 AM

I donate too. at least 50 dollars a month. they need that money more then i do 4 sure


Good for you..People can end in up in some very bad places...I lived in a community that had a shelter...thought many times of running there..flowerforyou

DragonFlyTat's photo
Wed 02/04/09 09:48 AM
Out of four girls in my family I am the only one who has never been beaten or hit in any way shape or form. All of my sisters have lived in shelters at one time or another. Now that I have my own home they can come to me but not if they continue to go back to the same abuse. My little sister, who is a knock out beautiful woman, gets it the worst. She is 5'1" 100 lbs. and was choked and thrown down stairs two weeks after she had a baby and had heart failure. I was taking care of her newborn. I didn't have a clue this was going on until much later. She is living on her own now. Thank God!!

TruGyrl's photo
Wed 02/04/09 09:59 AM
I have been "hit on" not bad enought o leave a bruise just a slap across the back of my head or something to that degree. Because I didn't want to do what he wanted me to do. I was only with him for a short time and I was only 18. At the time it was happening I honestly didn't even notice it was going on. I look back now and think WOW why did I put up with that. After we broke up a female friend of mine beat the living daylights out of him and he will walk with a limp the rest of his life :smile:

That said for me it was more about being wanted and feeling unworthy of it. My dad died when I was young and I was just looking for a man in my life that would stay no matter what.(I know this now, not so much then). I still ended up marrying a man who was verbally and emotionally abusive. It got to the point that I didn't leave my house for an entire summer unless it was a HAVE TO... Eventually I got fed up grabbed my daughter and left him. Now we are friends we get along great. He doesn't pull that crap on me because he knows I won't take it and our daughter is happier than she has ever been in her life. I know I can count on him still where I can't other men in my life (i.e. my back is not so good right now and he came over and did some heavy lifting for me)He has realized how bad things got and is in therapy and such. I will say he NEVER hit me once.

Anyway that is my story and a way to kind of show even those that have been slightly abused can get over it and move on with their lives with love and patience.

happy

AngieH79's photo
Wed 02/04/09 11:10 AM
My ex was not physically abusive either, but the verbal and emotional abuse have definately left their mark. And yeah, he started off being such a nice guy, I never realized what was going on until the damage was already done.

I don't know why he acted like that: anger/control issues, low self-esteem, a refusal to grow up...

I stayed as long as I did because of ignorance, low self-esteem, depression, and yeah, I thought I loved him.

I remember thinking if I can just fix what I'm doing wrong then things will get better. But it was never enough.

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Wed 02/04/09 01:19 PM
Thank u 4 ur stories ladies. im glad things have gotten better. i know that as long as i live i will never hit a woman. unless n self defense if shes trying 2 kill u. other then that there is no justified reason

Totage's photo
Wed 02/04/09 01:41 PM
Edited by Totage on Wed 02/04/09 01:43 PM

Ive talked 2 several girls who say they have been abused by their boyfriends and that makes me upset. why would a guy do that? i just dont understand. i know this is a sensitive subject so pls keep that n mind frown


whoa whoa Why would a woman abuse a man? It happens.

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Wed 02/04/09 05:41 PM


Ive talked 2 several girls who say they have been abused by their boyfriends and that makes me upset. why would a guy do that? i just dont understand. i know this is a sensitive subject so pls keep that n mind frown


whoa whoa Why would a woman abuse a man? It happens.


Same reason...CONTROL, POWER.......Its a mind thing...and after we get out of that situation, we wonder....What the Hell was that all about??
Never stay in a abusive relationship...yea, it usually happens gradually...and progressively gets worse...flowerforyou

redneck29's photo
Wed 02/04/09 06:08 PM
I have found out that my ex is getting the verbal and emotional abuse from her new boy friend. She wont say she is but the signs are there. My kids do not want to go to her house because they say her boyfriend is mean and yells at mommy. When ever she is not around him she calls me to talk. At first I was thinking why is she calling me to talk. Than the other day I could tell something was wrong, I asked her whats wrong and they first thing out of her mouth was "Its not bill, I am not scared of him so why are you asking?". I was not asking that. She seems to be reaching out but it is hard for me to reach back. Because of what is going on she has down sized her time with the kids so that they are not around him. Why dont she just leave? Now she has chose to stay with him over her kids. She does have some where to go, her mom would take her in. I just dont get it. rant frustrated

Ruth34611's photo
Wed 02/04/09 06:26 PM
the battered women's shelters where I worked as a cop for years were often full and there was nowhere for them to go. On several occasions my partner and I would pay for a motel room for the woman and her children for the night. And, some McDonalds. There wasn't much more we could do.

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Wed 02/04/09 07:04 PM

I have found out that my ex is getting the verbal and emotional abuse from her new boy friend. She wont say she is but the signs are there. My kids do not want to go to her house because they say her boyfriend is mean and yells at mommy. When ever she is not around him she calls me to talk. At first I was thinking why is she calling me to talk. Than the other day I could tell something was wrong, I asked her whats wrong and they first thing out of her mouth was "Its not bill, I am not scared of him so why are you asking?". I was not asking that. She seems to be reaching out but it is hard for me to reach back. Because of what is going on she has down sized her time with the kids so that they are not around him. Why dont she just leave? Now she has chose to stay with him over her kids. She does have some where to go, her mom would take her in. I just dont get it. rant frustrated


They isolulate you, from you're family, then you get scared for you're children..You want them, (children), to be safe..I pray for her....flowerforyou

SweetnFunny's photo
Wed 02/04/09 07:06 PM
Edited by SweetnFunny on Wed 02/04/09 07:06 PM

Ive talked 2 several girls who say they have been abused by their boyfriends and that makes me upset. why would a guy do that? i just dont understand. i know this is a sensitive subject so pls keep that n mind frown


I don't know why some men would do that. Low self-esteem behind a tough boy mask? Anger & control issues?
Hopefully the women who get out of those situations will get counselling and hopefully have a good support system with friends and family. Your emotions will be up and down for quite a while afterwards. Self-defense classes are a good idea, too. :smile:

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