I would like to start a new thread on what we men and you women are doing wrong with internet relationships. I think that we men could give you ladies some insight on what you're doing wrong and you ladies could do the same for us men.

In August, I will have been single for 9 years. In that time, I've only met two women with whom I have had a relationship with for any period of time. The relationships each lasted for just under a year. Now, don't think I'm bragging, because I'm not, but both ladies couldn't believe the intensity of our relationships, including the sexual part. I won't go into the gritty details about the sex except to say that in both cases it was awesome. The first relationship ended when I finally figured out that she had an intense anger problem; in the 10 months we were together, she really blew up 6 times, we split, she called and we got back together. The anger was not on my part in any way, she was extremely jealous, even jealous over her own sister whom I never met!!!! From our talks, I can say that she had been "ridden hard and put up wet." I was the first man who had ever really cared for and loved her, I know this for a fact.

The second relationship was with a lady who, later in life, graduated college and became a high school English teacher. She was from Maine and had moved to my state, North Carolina. She had had two really bad marriages, to hear her side of it, and was a bit screwball for me. To give you an example about her, she told me after we met that she despised the "N" word and I told her that I hated it also. But she had no problem with coming home in the afternoons talking about the "rednecks" in her classes. I finally told her that she was the "prejudiced" one and she really got pissed about that. I will be glad to tell more about my relationships with them, should anyone ask.

In my almost 9 years of singledom, I have been on Yahoo Personals, met both the above ladies on there, and I have been on Mingle2 and Plentyoffish for several years now. I have never seen so many dishonest ladies in my life. For example, the last lady I met had posted a photo of herself that had to be over ten years old. She was really pretty and I sort of felt insecure about writing to her. Also, she was a "born-again Christian" who sang in a gospel quartet. As a musician, this intrigued me although I don't believe in the Christian faith, and I told her this in the first letter I responded with. I explained that I would like to get together and possibly play and sing some with them. I also told her that I wouldn't try to sway her faith, but also wanted respect for my beliefs. After a few nights of phone conversation, she came over to meet me at my place. It was dark when she arrived and when she got out of the car, I realized that she had "fudged" on her photo, but that really didn't make any difference to me. We had a good relationship for several weeks, and were able to talk about our beliefs without any repercussions. But she still had problems with her ex, who had deserted her and her kids ten years ago, and who thought that he still "owned" her. So that one went to Hell in a handbasket very quickly!!!!!

If you go to my profile, you'll see that now I'm only looking for friends, I have lost faith that there is a woman anywhere that I could have a close relationship with. I have been honest to a fault in my previous ads on all the dating sites. I won't go into those details at the moment, but will gladly discuss them with anyone who cares to talk about things.

In being on the sites this long, I seem to see all the same ladie's faces and ads on them. It appears that you have had the same problem I have, meeting someone you really click with. I would like for this thread to open all of us up and see if we can see what our problems are. I would possibly like to chat with some of you about things, maybe on Yahoo Messenger. I have many more "tales of terror" about the ladies I have met in the past. So I hope that you ladies and guys out there will get on this thread and let's see what develops....thank you for reading this.....Jim

my friend

tell ya now this aint gonna go over to well

Tou che' ye poster of the topic.

I think my problem is that I'm honest and women don't seem to like that too much, but there's a couple out there which I have crossed paths with where timing was the only thing wrong. Ah, memories.

On the other hand, the majority of guys on these things generally match with the majority of the females in feelings about the dynamics of human peer bonding, so I think for them it is maybe not so bad. Just us "weird" people who have problems.


just my two coppers.

I want to say, that us "honest" women have issues too. Men don't like that for some reason. I speak my mind and that seems to be a problem. Not sure why women lie or pretend to be what they aren't. Life is too short for that.

ugh

I understand you are being sincere in hoping for some form of communication to ensue here and to bring some clarity to us all, but I doubt it's gonna happen.

What do we have to go on in life except experiences? They teach us what we enjoy and what we wouldn't care to do again. I can't go telling stories on my ex all the time hoping that someone else will not follow in my footsteps, because surely they will. Maybe by then, he will have changed and then again maybe not. I can only take responsibility for my own actions and flaws and try to move on from there.

And I really don't need another man telling me what I do wrong. I can figure it out all on my own.....

I think a lot of problems stem from lack of communication,trust,honesty and too much pride.

Definitely from trust issues, and on my own part, sometimes my composure gives the wrong impression. i.e. "Why are you ignoring me?"

I'm just drinking my beer!

LMAO .. how true is that. It's human nature to read more into stuff than we should.

It's called just

I think my problem is that I'm not drop dead gorgeous, and I don't place sex first on my list of topics with a guy.

I think I'm rather quirky in real life, and I would really like to focus on the quality of a relationship rather than just quantity, which means you spend some time with it, not just rush into whatever feels good. It also provides you both with a sense of trust when you know the other person isn't just going to jump into something else so fast.

Also, I'd rather meet a guy in real life before I decide I like him any more than just a friend. I want a real life relationship, not a bunch of emails that transpose emotion.

Most of the guys I meet on here are looking for a pretty face with a sexy body, and I'm not 25 anymore, lol. I don't try to act it either.. ;p I'm a real person with a real life, which is rather hectic at times, but very fulfilling. But, in the same sense, I'm also really happy with things the way they are, so I'll be like you, and just wait through all the friendships. Maybe something nice will turn up)

LIAR!!!
















YOU DIFFIDENTLY ARE DROP DEAD GORGEOUS!!!lol

I just HAD TO correct you...

Glad you did. I would have if you hadn't.

lol.. thx iam4u) But you can't say that because it would ruin my whole theory.. I was in my safe zone with that train of thought.

Sorry, Skad. That's two of us.

Looks like your train of thought got derailed...lol

You need to open up your safe zone long enough to let a friend sneak in,wink,
And your WELCOME.....

Ok, let me add shy or modest or whatever the right word is... So this attention is making me uncomfortable..

Next topic.. so what makes you guys have so many posts with no "taken" beside your names?

Me. I basically wasn't looking. Someone found me, though. Just remains to be seen how it turns out.

I may, at some point, have that next to my name.

That's awesome) I met a guy recently, had dinner with him. but he's talking about relocation in the future because of the work he does, and I'm not sure if I'd be willing to consider that. I love my grandmother too much.. ;p He works as an off-shore diver, too, so it's sort of hard to think about having any time to build a relationship with him.

Ah, come on Pats.. You're not afraid to spill your guts are you?