I'm pretty sure I was a terrible wife and both of my husbands sucked, but I don't think it had anything to do with the fact that we were born and raised in Chicago.

Give Illinois women another chance!!!

Miss Laura -- The truth is, I tried and tried and tried for 9 months to talk to the local women here. And zilch. I mean, it amazes me that there could be such a concentrated level of sheer rudeness and insensitivity and flagrant incivility in one geographic area, if nothing else!

Meanwhile, I'm getting dozens of e-mails from JSH people in Canada and New York and Washington and California and Europe, even. Got one the other day from someone in Utah -- one of the best-written, most thought-provoking e-mails I have ever received anywhere from anybody.

OK, so maybe I was stupid for trying for so long. I can accept that. But at least I DID try. At the same time, I think it makes little sense to hit yourself over the head with a sledge hammer 4522 times. The way I see it, if you haven't achieved the desired result (whatever that is) after hitting yourself over the head 4250 times (give or take), then you really ought to try something else. A piano over the head, maybe an anvil, or some kind of battleship. But enough with the sledge hammer, already.

It took me this long to figure out that the kind of person I am looking for is simply NOT using a dating site. And that's OK. I stay here because of the friends I've made, but I am DONE looking for a girlfriend here. And I am even MORE DONE trying to talk to any of the locals here....!!

Lex,

The fact that you found one lady from your area that interested you is a plus! did you try telling her personally that you wanted to get to know her, and were looking forward to reading her posts in the future?

Personally, that is the best "come on line" I can think of getting, that someone has read what I have to say and STILL is interested in me! hehe!

Don't give up!

Hot -- I wrote to a bunch of the locals, after seeing them going through the "New Matches" area on my home page.

And, because I hadn't seen them before, and because I assumed they were new -- when I wrote them, I mentioned that the forums were a good way to get to know people here, and to let people get to know them.

And, when I could, I would mention something I found interesting about their profiles, trying to initiate a dialogue, anyway.

Several of them actually did post (albeit briefly) in the forums, so maybe they did at least read that part of what I wrote to them.

But not a one ever wrote back.

I don't need another building to fall on top of me again. I've learned my lesson.

Well if it makes you feel any better, and I doubt it will, I have emailed several local men and have not gotten responses. Even the courtesy of an "I'm not interested email" would be nice.

I think everybody kind of has the same experiences that you have, maybe just not as many.

At least you're sticking around for your friends. Friends and family are the cornerstones of a happy life.

Well, it's a sad sorry world out there Lex! I'm starting to think you live in a very anti-social community! maybe you should move!! hehe! You know 713,000 miles away to...what was it called?

Hot -- You're right, the town where I live is THE most exclusionary, insular place I've ever seen. Unless you're a dyed-in-the-barn hillbilly with 6 generations of retro-hillbilliosity behind you, they don't want anything to do with you. It's like the "Evil-Parallel-Universe" version of Mayberry.

I only moved here (after the divorce and all the afterchaos of that mess) on the advice of a friend, who said it would be a good place to work on a book....

Looks like I'm stuck here for at least a little while longer, too.

But I'm planning on moving as soon as possible....I think Neptune would be a lot more hospitable than this place!

Ouch Lex, ever tried Ireland?
These people talk the hindleg off a donkey, they would even talk to you if you'd just let them.

Inv -- I am actually in the process of looking at some possible new places to live in Europe. I have been to Germany and the Netherlands, and my ancestry is primarily Norwegian, so there is definitely an allure there. I figure I will be stuck here for maybe another year (lease considerations and some boring mundane personal stuff that has to be resolved), but after that -- I am (hoping to be) so out of here -- !!

My best friend is 100% Irish -- and has been to the "old country" and recommends it wholeheartedly....

Lex,

Well I am in the same predicament you are in and will also be moving in about a year if I can get all my ducks lined up in a row...HMMM so the question we now face is; How to find a friendly community with lots of single, relationship minded people our age.....hmmm, that might be a little bit difficult...
Does any one live in the afore mentioned community and if so would you please give us the particulars?!! hehe!

Please don't say eharmony... I read they dont even accept non christians...Which can really suck if your agnostic or have an other religion....

- I put the sexy in dislexiya!

Charlie -- Yeah, I found that out after my little debacle over there! Did some reading up on the site and apparently there have been some "billing irregularities."

I'm pretty sure God doesn't want me to have any more girlfriends because I'm an atheist...

Try being wiccan and signing up...they send you a little email says "dear sir, thanks for trying, but your going to hell. Sorry we couldn't help you at this time. Here are some christian resources!!!"

ays waht

Well, what I meant was a real live community, not another on-line site! hehe!

I just wanted to let everybody here know that I'm leaving the site -- not to make a big deal out of it; but I've just had enough. Good luck to all; I hope you find what you're looking for....

I don't know you personally....Lex
but have read a few of your posts...
I wish you so very well,
& hope you find exactly who
you are looking for ...
close to home....